This video provides more evidence why my alma mater is not considered an athletic mecca. The Western Washington University Vikings (class of 2005, w00t!) are in white and they’re playing against a guy who makes Lebron look like a good team player. I almost wish I didn’t post this video so that douchebag didn’t get the extra pub, but it’s Thursday and I have nothing else to offer you leeches.

Let me just say this: if we outlaw rape then only outlaws will rape.

Hef (in the suit) and Gonzo discuss the weekend plans.

We don’t have any more content until the threesome at 5pm so feel free to enjoy fat kids complaining about the economic strain on their bacon allowance.

(h/t Hot Clicks)

Well, not literally, but this thing really hit home.  I promise, if I’m ever rich, all the money I give to charity in order to avoid having to pay taxes will totally go to my foundation for finding a cure to this terrible, terrible ailment.

I, like every stoner in history, am addicted also to the horrific being known as video games.  I love first person shooters and am fucking accurate as hell.  I love fighting games because it allows me to satisfy my burnding desire for human flesh.  MY GOAL IS TO RAPE THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU SO FUCKING HARD, YOUR PARENTS WILL HAVE TO GET THEIR OWN THERAPY IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH THE MINDFUCK SHELL OF A MAN YOU WILL BECOME!!!

Whoa.  Heavy shit.

I’m sorry everyone…I’m so sorry.

I was watching The State last night and they had a great skit that I forgot about where mock Dan Cortese was fucking with a Spencer-type fuddy-duddy on a golf course. Thanks to the MTV video Nazis, I couldn’t find that particular skit, but I’m glad it brought me back to a simpler time before the X-Games and the Tony Hawk Slamma Jamma or whatever it’s called.

Back when there wasn’t all of that manufactured x-tremeness, we had MTV Sports hosted by the indefatigable Dan Cortese. Winner of multiple Emmys, Grammys, Oscars and Cable Ace awards, it was a show that helped all of Middle America realize just how uncool we were, what with our not wearing do-rags or lack of inline skating skillz. If you weren’t up on your hacky sack or your motocross polo, then Dan would give you a primer on how to be cool. Another of the niche sports he hipped us up to was Freestyle Frisbee.

I can’t even explain the craziness that goes on in Freestyle Frisbee – you’ll have to check it out yourself. Behold the greatness of Rick “Casio” Castaglia and Amy “Dude” Bekken: Read the rest of this entry »

To help you get through your Thursday afternoon I have decided to give you a real treat: ProStars!  That’s right, a cartoon featuring Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Bo Jackson fighting bad guys.  You know how today’s cartoons are all educational and aren’t the least bit fun or interesting?  Well, the 80s and early 90s were full of this kind of useless bullshit that feigned interest in kids but was really exclusively about making money and selling sports memoribilia.

“But Hef,” you say, “their slogan was ‘It’s All About Helping Kids.’”  Yeah, they say that, but how exactly did they help kids?  By destroying the evil robots that skated into their particular region of the city?  By hitting hockey pucks that transformed into boomerangs in narrow tunnels where no kids would venture?  Or by crushing the hopes and dreams of 10 year olds when they realized that rocket shoes didn’t exist?

Assholes.

There isn’t much going on over here. Most of us are either busy with work, getting sleep, getting laid, or not getting flooded. What we are trying to say is, we’re sorry for the lack of content, but that will surely change in the near future.

In the mean time, enjoy this video from one of my favorite artists: Ludacris.