/Rant

Good news, your favorite NBA team just traded away a valuable role player. In return, they got a guy who hasn’t played all year because he either sucks too much at basketball or because he blew out his knee a few years ago and can’t run anymore. Or perhaps both of those.

Right now, I’m hoping that my favorite team, the Chicago Bulls, somehow manages to convince another NBA team to accept a trade for Kirk Hinrich or John Salmons. At worst, both Hinrich and Salmons are solid rotation players on a playoff team. In return for Hinrich and Salmons, I’m not hoping for a player or players that would help the Bulls win games, necessarily (at least not this year). No, I’d be willing to accept any player just as long as their contract expires at the end of this season. Such is life for an NBA fan whose favorite team isn’t the Cavs, Magic, Celtics, or Lakers. This is the landscape that David Stern and the NBA Players Association has provided me. I’m not rooting for my team anymore; I’m rooting for contracts. I realize that my team can’t compete with Cleveland once the playoffs begin, so I’m willing to accept it if they essentially give away one of their starting guards, a guy I’ve been rooting for since 2003. And you wanna know the best part? No team wants him.

In today’s NBA, Jerome James is a more valuable asset to a non-contending team like the Bulls than Kirk Hinrich. By the end of this season, Jerome James will have played exactly 4 games in the last 3 years. In that timeframe, he will have made roughly 17 million dollars. I watch every Bulls game on television and I couldn’t even tell you what Jerome James looks like. Yet he’s more valuable than Kirk Hinrich, their starting guard who plays over 30 mpg. Nowhere but in the NBA could a situation like this exist. Let me try to think of an example.

Thinking…

Thinking…

Nope, can’t think of one.

This system is complete bullshit.

/End Rant

The Red Sox, in the wake of both the Jason Bay/Mike Cameron and Adrian Beltre deals, have demonstrated to the world that they’re going to sacrifice scoring runs in favor of preventing runs.  Yes, there’s no denying that exchanging Mike Cameron’s superior glove for Jason Bay’s subpar one improves the outfield dramatically.  Yet there’s also no denying that Jason Bay’s bat, though due for a decline, is still vastly superior to Cameron’s which began it’s decline a few years ago.  There’s also no denying that the move from the NL to the superior AL won’t be easy on the almost 37 year old hitter.

Likewise, with Beltre, the Sox are exchanging one of the worst defensive third basemen for one of the best.  Last year, Fangraphs had Beltre ranked as the best defensive third basemen in the AL.  His injuries prevented him from getting more credit.  Last place on that list?  You guessed it, Frank Stallone Mike Lowell. But like Bay, Lowell had the far better year at the plate.  Though it must be mentioned that Beltre hit in Safeco which does not favor right handed hitters whereas Fenway is a righties dream park.

The point?  I’m guessing Boston wins the same amount of games last year but spends the whole year dealing with assholes at ESPN talking about how this isn’t the same Boston club of year’s past.  It also might shut up that sumbitch Clown about how pearly white the Red Sox lineup is.  That Clown sure is a racist.

Juan Pierre displays perfect pre-bunt form

If you’re a White Sox fan, you’ve been hearing the term “true leadoff hitter” or the phrase ”we’re lacking a true leadoff hitter” for a couple years now. You may have even spoken them yourself. I’d imagine you did so while standing near a water cooler or coffee-making machine with a co-worker friend of yours.

“The White Sox could really use a true leadoff hitter,” you would say. “Someone who can get on base a lot and can run, like Hickey Runderson. I mean Rickey Henderson. Did I just say Hickey Runderson? That’s weird. His name should have been Hickey Runderson though, am I right? [Forced laughter]. Anyhoo, back to my point, Kenny needs to bring us a true leadoff hitter. If he can do that, I’ll be happy. Hey we doin’ lunch today at Applebees?”

Then the two of you would exchange a couple more seconds of banter and part ways. You’d go back to your desk and search the White Sox message boards for any kind of evidence that Kenny Williams would be bringing in a player who fits your own definition of a true leadoff hitter. Although to be fair, if your definition is some kind of variation of Rickey Henderson, good luck finding him. On Tuesday, you got your wish in Juan Pierre, or as I like to call him, the Black Scott Podsednik. Blacksednik. Yeah that’s who he is. He’s Blacksednik. Read the rest of this entry »

ParisHiltonsLazyEye is one of our favorite regular commenters around here along with cbh, younglefty, Triston, bbryan, mrejr, Tuck Pendleton, sparty and peeps, Tampa, AC Digits, ark, and Clarence (did I miss anyone? Oh hi bobo and bob). He’s also a Detroit Tigers fan, so we figured there would be nobody better than him to provide some thoughts on the team’s recent trade of Curtis Granderson to the Yankees. We like to keep our commentary biased around here. Paris, the floor is all yours.

When Happy first e-mailed me and asked if I had any thoughts on the Detroit Tigers trading Curtis Granderson, I thought I would type up a masterpiece filled with “relevant stats” and “facts”. But due to my shitty week at work as well as the Tigers throwing in the towel for the 2010 season, you are going to get my opinion and you are going to fucking like it because it costs you nothing to read the website (click the ads). Read the rest of this entry »

That’s the story according to SI’s Jon Heyman. The Sawx have agreed to pay Wagner for the rest of the season ($2m+) and gave the Mets 2 players to be named later, reportedly* Daniel Bard and Clay Bucholtz. Way to take advantage of them, Omar.

After losing two of three at Fenway to the Yanks over the weekend and being under .500 since the All Star Break, it seems as if Theo and Sawx are reeling. Too bad – it couldn’t have happened to a nicer group of racists.

*possibly not reported anywhere

Looks that way, but honestly, I’m done caring.

No, I’m not fucking over the Cliff Lee trade, not by a longshot.  Fuck this team and their ownership.  They don’t care about the fans or the city or winning, they care about bottom lines and bullshit and that’s it.

But nevertheless, I’m in that weird zone of post-breakup malaise marked by still caring about the person you just left while simultaneously hating their very existence.  Will I have a baseball version of break-up sex?  Probably.  But I just don’t think things will work out…

Anyways…I think this is a MUCH better trade from an Indians’ point of view.  They get A GUY WHO CAN ACTUALLY PLAY WITH VISUAL EVIDENCE AND EVERYTHING!!!  This is HUGE!

Midstream, while-writing, update…from Souvenir City on TBL quoting Fox’s Ken Rosenthal…

The Indians’ exact return is not known, but the Red Sox did not include either right-hander Clay Buchholz nor right-hander Daniel Bard in the deal, according to a source.

Nevermind…now I see why we broke up.  Fuck this team.

Big Update (now updated again): Done deal…Victor to the Sawx for Nick Hagadone, Justin Masterson, Michael Bowden and kamakazi Junichi Tazawa.  Someone please shoot me…or maybe Tazawa can fly a fucking plane into me.  Is that racist?  I don’t give a shit…it’s still not as racist as that worthless team’s logo.

Update Again: So much for Bowden and Tazawa…I’m sorry Tazawa for that racist laced rant.  Bryan Price is the third player in the deal.

Before I go on, let me say that I typed that headline without realizing how funny it is.  Please take a minute to marvel at my unintentional hilarity.

Alright, we’re back.

Let’s analyze the pieces being sent to the Mariners since the Pirates basically just received a bunch of young guys, most of which have never been above Single-A ball.

Jack Wilson: Where to start, where to start?  Jack Wilson is a 5′10″ defensive shortstop who is always below average in every major category when it comes to hitting.  By every major category, I mean everything except BA and K/BB ratio.  That’s it.  And this is in the NL.  Let’s take out our prognosticator hat for a second and take a shot at predicting what happens when you take a player who has a below average bat in the inferior league and place him in the vastly superior league.  Anyone want to take a shot?

Did I mention he’s also making $7.25M this year and $8.4M next year?  How about the fact that with his face he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near promotional materials and posters.

Shall we move onto Ian Snell now?

Ian Snell is a guy that hates pressure.  Earlier this year he requested a demotion to AAA to work on his pitching rather than figure things out on the big league level.  Let me rephrase that in a way that might not entirely be true: Snell couldn’t handle the pressure of pitching for the Pirates so he asked to be sent down to AAA where he felt more comfortable.

He only makes $4.25M this year because of an extention that the Pirates already regret so he isn’t too much of a risk but still, trading for a pile of shit that doesn’t cost a lot still leaves you with a pile of shit.

I guess this makes the Mariners (sorta) better in the short term.  Defensively they’ve improved dramatically.  And with Beltre at third the left side of the infield will be solid.  But don’t the Mariners need offense?  Since, you know, they’re dead last in the AL in runs scored this year.

The Mets rejected a trade of Fernando Martinez, Jon Neise, Bobby Parnell and 17 year old SS Ruben Tejada for Roy Halladay. Let me clarify. The Mets turned this down. Seriously. Are you fucking kidding me? Really? Omar, are you out of your rat fucking mind? If some one would have asked me yesterday what the Mets should give up for Roy Halladay I would have told them anyone but Johan, Wright and K-Rod. Seriously. Those three guys would not have gone because of money anyway. I would have traded Reyes. But JP Riccardi comes knocking and doesn’t even ask for your top pitching prospect or top infield prospect. You turn him down. Nice work douchebag. Read the rest of this entry »

Where did everybody go?

Are the White Sox contenders right now? Well yes, I guess they are. As I type this, they are 2 games back of the Tigers and a half-game up on the Twins in the AL Central, arguably the worst division in baseball history not counting the 2009 NL East. In addition, they’re potentially a week away from getting Carlos Quentin back. That starts a chain-reaction of potentially positive things.

1. It strengthens the lineup, since a healthy Quentin is the team’s best hitter.
2. It moves Scott Podsednik from LF to CF, where his 98 OPS+ isn’t a complete embarrassment.
3. It makes Brian Anderson a 4th outfielder again and puts Dwayne Wise in the minor leagues. Asking Brian Anderson and Dwayne Wise to split starts in CF while Scott Podsednik is playing left is no way to run a ballclub. Well it’s no way to run a successful one, anyway.

GM Kenny Williams finds himself in an unenviable position right now though. It’s clear that they have nowhere near the talent of the Red Sox, Yankees, or Rays. While it’s true that they could potentially fluke their way to 4 wins in October against any of those teams, a lot of things would have to go right for that to happen.  For one, they’d have to catch Detroit and hold off Minnesota over the next 3 months. For a team that’s barely won more games than they’ve lost up to this point, it’s tough to feel comfortable making that kind of prediction. So where does that leave them? Are they buyers or are they sellers? Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, the Pittsburgh Pirates ruined baseball by trading Nyjer Morgan and Sean Burnett to the Nationals for Lastings Milledge and Joel Hanrahan. Now, as players, they are all OK to shitty. But for aesthetics, no one looks better in a baseball uniform than Nyjer Morgan. What the Pirates have done to Baseball should be lambasted for all time. They have taken a man, who wears that uniform with class and excellence and traded him to a team that wears the Yugo of baseball uniforms. For Shame. Read the rest of this entry »