I was watching The State last night and they had a great skit that I forgot about where mock Dan Cortese was fucking with a Spencer-type fuddy-duddy on a golf course. Thanks to the MTV video Nazis, I couldn’t find that particular skit, but I’m glad it brought me back to a simpler time before the X-Games and the Tony Hawk Slamma Jamma or whatever it’s called.

Back when there wasn’t all of that manufactured x-tremeness, we had MTV Sports hosted by the indefatigable Dan Cortese. Winner of multiple Emmys, Grammys, Oscars and Cable Ace awards, it was a show that helped all of Middle America realize just how uncool we were, what with our not wearing do-rags or lack of inline skating skillz. If you weren’t up on your hacky sack or your motocross polo, then Dan would give you a primer on how to be cool. Another of the niche sports he hipped us up to was Freestyle Frisbee.

I can’t even explain the craziness that goes on in Freestyle Frisbee – you’ll have to check it out yourself. Behold the greatness of Rick “Casio” Castaglia and Amy “Dude” Bekken: Read the rest of this entry »

I went to the bar on Monday night to watch the football game and eat some wings with my roommate. While we were eating, a guy walked by in a Patriots jersey. Normally, this isn’t very strange. Upstate New York is full of bandwagon jumping Patriot fans.  However, this guy was wearing a jersey number that didn’t immediately register. When I took a closer look, I saw this:

Andy Katzenmoyer!

I still can’t believe it. Luckily, I had my trusty Blackberry with me and was able to snap this picture. Of course, i didn’t want to act like I was taking a picture of him. I mean, it was some dude I didn’t know. In a bar. I had to act like I was texting. Then after the incredibly bright flash went off, I ran out the door. What can I say? I’m a tough guy. Read the rest of this entry »

Jimmy's got moves!

In honor of my favorite chucker…

Kramer: Wide open!  I was wide open underneath. I had three inches on the guy and you two were hogging the ball.

George: Me? It wasn’t  me, I never even saw the ball…  All you do is dribble.

Jerry: I have to dribble, If I give it to you, you just shoot. You’re a chucker!.

George: Oh, I’m a chucker?.

Jerry: That’s right every time you get the ball you shoot.

George: I can’t believe you called me a chucker, no way I’m a chucker, I don’t chuck, never chuck, never have chucked, never will chuck, no chuck!.

Jerry: You chuck!.

George: Kramer am I a Chucker?.

Kramer: Oh you’re a Chucker.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s kind of hard to explain how important the mid-90’s Indians were.  The Browns had just been ripped from us, the Cavs were in putridity, and we just had the baseball strike.  And when the Indians, full of young talent bashing it everywhere, hit the scene, the whole city was sparked.  It was seriously like a scene from Major League and it was fun as hell and the color was provided by Herb Score.

I’m not going to blow sunshine up your skirt and say Herb Score was the greatest color guy of all time, because he wasn’t.  He was like a jaded, cynical Bob Uecker with that same scotch and cigarette voice that hearkened back to the Golden Age of baseball as told by the guys who lived it.  He got shit wrong all the time, sometimes forgetting what stadium he was even in, probably as a result of taking a line drive to the face during his playing years.

But, fuck, he was AWESOME on the radio.

Read the rest of this entry »

I have been getting tons and tons of e-mails from my 8 fans asking where the hell have I been. Well as someone once said, sometimes when you have plans life gets in the way or some other useless platitude that explains fucked up situations. Over the weekend, my Father in Law Frank passed away. He had been sick for a few months and Leukemia finally got the best of him. Last week, I was home alone with Little RamonaWarHelmet which only proved to me that I never ever want to be a single dad. Over the weekend, I flew down here with Ramona to say goodbye and comfort Mrs. Roman and the rest of my in-laws. Oh, down here is the pit of hell or Ocala, Florida in layman’s terms. We will get to this in a moment. I don’t have any bad words to say about my in-laws. They are good people who treat me well. Frank was a good guy and he will be missed. Anywho, everyone is doing well considering and they have been getting the best of Roman. My delicious meals (I cook well, my fatness enjoyed good food now it’s Medifast), my sympathy, my humor, my diaper changing ability and the rental car that allows me to go to the stores and such. But I am not looking to make this a retrospective on my Father in Law or my family, I like to keep certain things personal and frankly I am sure you don’t want to hear it. But being down in Ocala has definitely put a bit of a cramp on my Met following considering we only have basic cable, my cell phone was state of the art in 2001and the only computer with internet is based in the room my sister in law and her husband are staying. So how do I follow my First Place Metropolitans you ask? Well, let me tell you. Read the rest of this entry »

Baseball teams decided not to be civil to each other last night. Instead of scoring just enough runs to win, seven different teams decided to kick the living hell out of their opponent on the road to winning by 5 or more runs. We even had three victories by nine runs or more. Yes, it’s been an embarrassing week for some baseball teams.

Cubs 12, Pirates 3: Who wants in on the hit parade? The Cubs pounded out 19 hits last night as they kicked the sweet, dancing jesus out of the Pirates. That big guy right there? That’s Carlos Zambrano who went 7 strong giving up 2ER on 6 hits. He also had 4 hits, batted in 2 and scored a run. Eat your heart out Micah.

Dbacks 11, Braves 1: I’m guessing Chris Snyder (who’s an avid reader of the site) told the team that they earned a new nickname after their performance in Miami. The snakes responded after scoring just three runs against the Marlins in a 3 game series to pound out five HRs. I guess this means they’re angry with me.

Yankees 13, Mariners 2: The Yankees are back! That sentence makes me want to puke! Andy Pettite went 6, striking out 9 and allowing only 2ER. Some girl name Shelley hit a homerun. MLB is a very progressive sport.

Time Machine’s Stat of the Night: Hey, it’s everybody’s favorite time travel related baseball feature. In tonight’s episode, you, the contestant are going to travel back to the beginning of the season and tell me the following phrase (be careful I don’t punch you in the face, haha): “On May 24th the Texas Rangers have a record that is two games better than the Indians of Cleveland. Without major injuries. And an above average pitching staff.” Now hurry back to the future so that we don’t create a time paradox. Rangers win 13-9; Fausto got rocked-o.

Nick P’s Game of the Night: Any time Dusty Baker is serving a suspension, Nick’s interest in the Reds triples (this is no small feat-half the time he comes into the MLJ offices, he’s wearing a Mr. Redlegs Head and hitting on small children). At any rate, Dusty’s serving a 2 game suspension for poor managerial skills and the Reds won! Adam Dunn hit a leadoff homer in the top of the ninth off of Trevor Hoffman for the 3-2 win. If Dusty were there, he might have had Dunnie up there bunting even with no one on. Who knows?

Baseball teams decided not to be civil to each other last night. Instead of scoring just enough runs to win, seven different teams decided to kick the living hell out of their opponent on the road to winning by 5 or more runs. We even had three victories by nine runs or more. Yes, it’s been an embarrassing week for some baseball teams.

Cubs 12, Pirates 3: Who wants in on the hit parade? The Cubs pounded out 19 hits last night as they kicked the sweet, dancing jesus out of the Pirates. That big guy right there? That’s Carlos Zambrano who went 7 strong giving up 2ER on 6 hits. He also had 4 hits, batted in 2 and scored a run. Eat your heart out Micah.

Dbacks 11, Braves 1: I’m guessing Chris Snyder (who’s an avid reader of the site) told the team that they earned a new nickname after their performance in Miami. The snakes responded after scoring just three runs against the Marlins in a 3 game series to pound out five HRs. I guess this means they’re angry with me.

Yankees 13, Mariners 2: The Yankees are back! That sentence makes me want to puke! Andy Pettite went 6, striking out 9 and allowing only 2ER. Some girl name Shelley hit a homerun. MLB is a very progressive sport.

Time Machine’s Stat of the Night: Hey, it’s everybody’s favorite time travel related baseball feature. In tonight’s episode, you, the contestant are going to travel back to the beginning of the season and tell me the following phrase (be careful I don’t punch you in the face, haha): “On May 24th the Texas Rangers have a record that is two games better than the Indians of Cleveland. Without major injuries. And an above average pitching staff.” Now hurry back to the future so that we don’t create a time paradox. Rangers win 13-9; Fausto got rocked-o.

Nick P’s Game of the Night: Any time Dusty Baker is serving a suspension, Nick’s interest in the Reds triples (this is no small feat-half the time he comes into the MLJ offices, he’s wearing a Mr. Redlegs Head and hitting on small children). At any rate, Dusty’s serving a 2 game suspension for poor managerial skills and the Reds won! Adam Dunn hit a leadoff homer in the top of the ninth off of Trevor Hoffman for the 3-2 win. If Dusty were there, he might have had Dunnie up there bunting even with no one on. Who knows?

I started out thinking that I was gonna sit down and tear AZ GM Josh Byrnes a new one for letting Dan Uggla get taken by the Rule 5 draft three years ago when he decided to sign free agent Orlando Hudson instead. Now, I’m not so sure. You see, I started looking at Uggla’s power numbers and then moved onto the more complicated/smarty stats and I came away unsure of how to swing. Through two full seasons in Florida and the first quarter of 2008, Dan Uggla has 71 homeruns. In the same span, Orlando Hudson has 28. Now that right there seems like a good enough reason to hop in the time machine and stop Josh Byrnes’ parents from ever conceiving their wunderkind of a GM son (it wouldn’t be enough to simply travel through time and just tell him not to make the deal–I need to stop him from ever being born. It’s science). Ah hell. Let’s just do it as a chart. Charts are fun:

Dan Uggla: .269/.339/.501, 71 HRs, .840 OPS, $1.1 million salary over three years.

Orlando Hudson: .317/.358/.490, 28 HRs, .848 OPS, $12.8 million salary over three years

Now I for one don’t care what a player makes each year in so much that if you’re producing at a solid level but would be considered overpaid, I don’t care. I do care, however, when a club has a limited budget and won’t/can’t spend more money to rectify a free agent mistake. But, I’m getting away from the point. It seems clear that Uggla has the obvious, flashy numbers that make him look valuable. He has way more HRs and RBI than Hudson (209 vs 153) and Uggla is just getting started in his career. If anything, his numbers are going to go up. What I did realize just by taking a deeper look was that Hudson is a lot better than I realized.

For starters, Hudson’s defensive abilities more than compensate for his lower offensive output. He saves the equivalent amount of runs that Uggla outproduces. Sure Gold Gloves are silly, but for the last two years, Hudson has earned both of them. From 2006-2007, Hudson’s FRAR (fielding runs above replacement player) was 27 runs better than Uggla, meaning he saved 27 more runs than Uggla. In the same period, Uggla “created” 28 more runs than Hudson with his bat.

And again, Hudson’s OPS has been decent for a second basemen. His OPS in the same span is the same as Uggla’s. Thus, Uggla’s higher runs and RBI totals for the last two years are partly due to his playing for a team that is more offensively efficient than Arizona.

Let me be clear: I would probably use the time machine to stop Josh Byrnes from signing Orlando Hudson if it meant that Dan Uggla would be placed into the everyday lineup (this could be considered a bit of a reach–there’s no guarantee he would have been given the shot he was given in AZ that he was in Florida). It’s just a much closer call than it was when I sat down to write this piece. And besides, who’s to say that the money saved from not signing Hudson wouldn’t have been spent on a bust of a free agent like Barry Zito.

Sources: Baseball Prospectus, Fan Graphs

I started out thinking that I was gonna sit down and tear AZ GM Josh Byrnes a new one for letting Dan Uggla get taken by the Rule 5 draft three years ago when he decided to sign free agent Orlando Hudson instead. Now, I’m not so sure. You see, I started looking at Uggla’s power numbers and then moved onto the more complicated/smarty stats and I came away unsure of how to swing. Through two full seasons in Florida and the first quarter of 2008, Dan Uggla has 71 homeruns. In the same span, Orlando Hudson has 28. Now that right there seems like a good enough reason to hop in the time machine and stop Josh Byrnes’ parents from ever conceiving their wunderkind of a GM son (it wouldn’t be enough to simply travel through time and just tell him not to make the deal–I need to stop him from ever being born. It’s science). Ah hell. Let’s just do it as a chart. Charts are fun:

Dan Uggla: .269/.339/.501, 71 HRs, .840 OPS, $1.1 million salary over three years.

Orlando Hudson: .317/.358/.490, 28 HRs, .848 OPS, $12.8 million salary over three years

Now I for one don’t care what a player makes each year in so much that if you’re producing at a solid level but would be considered overpaid, I don’t care. I do care, however, when a club has a limited budget and won’t/can’t spend more money to rectify a free agent mistake. But, I’m getting away from the point. It seems clear that Uggla has the obvious, flashy numbers that make him look valuable. He has way more HRs and RBI than Hudson (209 vs 153) and Uggla is just getting started in his career. If anything, his numbers are going to go up. What I did realize just by taking a deeper look was that Hudson is a lot better than I realized.

For starters, Hudson’s defensive abilities more than compensate for his lower offensive output. He saves the equivalent amount of runs that Uggla outproduces. Sure Gold Gloves are silly, but for the last two years, Hudson has earned both of them. From 2006-2007, Hudson’s FRAR (fielding runs above replacement player) was 27 runs better than Uggla, meaning he saved 27 more runs than Uggla. In the same period, Uggla “created” 28 more runs than Hudson with his bat.

And again, Hudson’s OPS has been decent for a second basemen. His OPS in the same span is the same as Uggla’s. Thus, Uggla’s higher runs and RBI totals for the last two years are partly due to his playing for a team that is more offensively efficient than Arizona.

Let me be clear: I would probably use the time machine to stop Josh Byrnes from signing Orlando Hudson if it meant that Dan Uggla would be placed into the everyday lineup (this could be considered a bit of a reach–there’s no guarantee he would have been given the shot he was given in AZ that he was in Florida). It’s just a much closer call than it was when I sat down to write this piece. And besides, who’s to say that the money saved from not signing Hudson wouldn’t have been spent on a bust of a free agent like Barry Zito.

Sources: Baseball Prospectus, Fan Graphs

Another great visual aid that only magnifies the enjoyment of baseball for everyone except spence who only likes watching home runs. It’s a horserace graph for pennant races. Input the year, the division and enjoy the swings. Watch the 1961 Yankees run neck and neck with the Tigers until September when they start to pull away. Watch the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies surge to victory past the New York Mets where they are promptly euthanized on the field of play for coming in second (too soon?). Hell, watch the 1903 Boston Red Sox win the pennant by 14.5 games. Every race, including the current season, all the way back to 1901. It’s worth your time.