I’m not going to post em all, and really, this is just a really long version of a filler post, but hey, it’s kinda interesting, right?  Not really?  Yea, I agree.  Whatever…you’ll be entertained for like 10 minutes or so.  ONWARD!

Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard

Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten

Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don’t Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck

Awesome.

Masters, bitch.

The “comeback” could’ve gone one of two ways…either retirement or a full fledged, 15-stroke win at Pebble, pissed off Tiger Woods ass whooping tour.  Right now, the ass whooping tour is the leader in the clubhouse.

Why else would he set the Masters as his return date? Sure, he can control the media and fan presence to a certain extent…well not him, but the Green Jacket Mafia, but still, you get the point.  I look at this in a different way, though…what better place to send a message that you’re back and you’re still the fucking king than coming to Augusta and rolling heads with an old fashioned Tiger beatdown?

Think about it from Tiger’s perspective.  He’s had just about everyone in the country talking about him getting his dick wet with some questionable slit, talking about how big of an asshole he is, how he’s a liar and a phony, how he’s diminished his legacy…

Wouldn’t you be pissed as all shit?  Especially considering that the only reason you’re a celebrity is being completely ignored?  When was the last time you heard anyone talk about Tiger’s actual GOLF?  Lets just think about this for a quick second…extremely pissed off dude in his golfing prime with the best mind the game has ever seen who’s going to be on a mission after three straight top 10’s at the place he’s won at four times before only this time, he’s completely rested.

This has all the makings of a bloodbath…and I can’t fucking wait.

In approximately two hours, Tiger Woods is going to stand before the media and apologize for stuff. At least that’s what we’ve been told he’s going to do. On Thursday afternoon, our friend Joe Poz offered up a mock apology speech that he’d use if he were Tiger. It was heart-felt and touching and smart and all that good stuff. It was also wrong. Tiger has nothing to apologize to us for. Who are we? We’re nobody. He’s Tiger Fucking Woods. So here’s my apology speech if I were Tiger. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey Tiger, it’s the Bitches that will getcha.

TMZ.com reported that a source said Nordegren scratched Woods’ face after she went berserk over reports he was seeing another woman and chased him with a golf club, striking his vehicle as he ran from the home.The Web site said the source talked to Woods after the smashup.

The crash came on the heels of reports in the National Enquirer and Star magazine that Woods had an affair with a New York nightclub hostess – who denied it last night to the Daily News.

Spencer is reportedly driving to Orlando now to “take care” of Elin after trying to destroy the greatest golfer evAr! Read the rest of this entry »

He’s fine according to friend of MLJ, Darren Rovell.

I like to imagine that Tiger was just running to the store in dire need of some Muscle Milk, honey nut Chex Mix and sugar free Red Bull after smoking weed all night and playing video games for six straight hours.  I mean, that’s almost as ridiculous as imagining that I could win fourteen majors, right?

As if the $100 million in off-course endorsements and global omnipresence didn’t convince you that Tiger Woods is the most popular athlete in the entire world, well, what Australia is doing for his impending visit should be enough to convince you.  In addition to the $3 million check he gets just for showing up, Tiger is getting treated with…

This time around, he’ll fly to Australia in a private plane. He’ll be chauffeured around the country and kept under the watchful eye of a complete security detail. He’ll be the guest of honor at a prestigious dinner whose tickets cost more than $5,000 a seat. And chances are, everybody who’s anybody in Australia — no, I will not make a hack Crocodile Dundee joke here (unless I just did) — will be angling for some face time with Woods.

That’s  in addition to his taxpayer funded $3 million appearance fee. Then again, when SIMPLY HIS PRESENCE is estimated to generate an EXTRA $15 million in revenue for the local economy, well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s why he’s Tiger fuckin’ Woods, the most well known athlete in the entire world.

(HT: Devil Ball)