This here is the view from the Left Field stands in the new Yankee Stadium. Apparently, if you are sitting here and a ball lands in Right Field you can’t see it. The same can be said for those sitting in Right and looking towards Left. That big wall right there is a Steak House in dead Centerfield. When questioned by Neil Best over at Newsday, Yankee COO Lonn Trost showed great concern over this issue. Here is what he had to say: Read the rest of this entry »

We here at Major League Jerk are sensitive to the needs of the common man (read: you) so from time to time, we’ll talk about a few other teams around the Majors (read: teams we don’t give a shit about unless our teams are playing). Without further ado, a lineup of games that everyone who writes for this site has been ignoring (with good reason).

A quick note on the picture: that’s Ty Cobb kicking some catcher in the garbage (sorry that I don’t know the catcher’s name). This is what it feels like when I talk about the Nationals and Rangers for an extended period of time. Speaking of which…

Orioles 6, Nationals 5: I know these are “natural” rivalries and all, but I can’t think of series I care less about than this one (close second and third listed in order after this one). Sure the Orioles are 4 games above .500 but have a -4 run differential which means they’re playing beyond themselves at this point. The Nats are sitting at 18-26. I just can’t even think of anything to say about these two teams. If this game were to somehow be on my television, I still might change the channel and I’ll watch any baseball game I see. Am I a bad person for not caring?

Rangers 6, Astros 2: Josh Hamilton is on a tear right now. He hit two HRs two nights ago and last night went 2-3. What I want to talk about however, is Michael Bourn. Anyone in Houston want to tell me how this guy still has a job? Is his defense knock-you-on-your-ass exciting? He’s got three errors on the season but he also has four assists. The reason I bring this up is because this guy is OPSing at .522. That’s not a typo. Sure his BABIP is .222 so his BA should come up, but .522? Is he out of options? Can the ‘Stros not send him down to AAA? Please email me or leave a comment. I have to know.

Mariners 4, Padres 2: I lived in Seattle for four years and you know what I learned that you all probably know just by listening to someone from Seattle talk about sports? They bitch and moan more than anyone besides a Utah Jazz fan. Every call, every article, everything said about the team whether negative or just simply honest and benign is because their teams are disrespected by the MSM. Let me clarify, Seattle fans think that no one gives a shit about their team so they take everything as a slight. Everything. If you dare to question Ichiro’s inability to take a walk, they jump on you and tell you he’s the greatest lead off man in baseball history (so fuck off, Ricky Henderson). Also their sports sections are the worst I’ve ever read. The Padres are just downright awful even with Jake Peavy. [End rant]

Rockies 3, Twins 2: These two teams are “natural” rivalries. I’m guessing the rational went something like this:
MLB Official A: Well, we’ve lined up all the natural rivalries for interleague play. Some of them don’t fit, but I stand by my work.
MLB Official B: Wait, what about these two? It looks like we left two team names in the bag. What do we got here? The Twins and the Rockies? They’re not naturally anything.
MLB Official A: Well, they’re both cold, woodsy places and they’re fanbases are predominately white.
MLB Official B: That’s racist.
MLB Official A: You’re racist.

White Sox 3, Giants 1: Barry Zito lost his eighth game of the year. I won’t rub it in because I don’t care. What I will talk about is this: Carlos Quentin is hitting third for a Major League ballclub. Here’s what I want you to do, loyal reader. I want you to travel back in time and tell me this would be true a year ago and I would’ve pissed myself laughing so hard. When you told me that he’s leading the AL in HRs, I would’ve called it overkill and punched you in your stupid, lying face. Then I would’ve been embarrassed and ashamed a year later. You see why time travel is so dangerous? Do you?

And….scene.

We here at Major League Jerk are sensitive to the needs of the common man (read: you) so from time to time, we’ll talk about a few other teams around the Majors (read: teams we don’t give a shit about unless our teams are playing). Without further ado, a lineup of games that everyone who writes for this site has been ignoring (with good reason).

A quick note on the picture: that’s Ty Cobb kicking some catcher in the garbage (sorry that I don’t know the catcher’s name). This is what it feels like when I talk about the Nationals and Rangers for an extended period of time. Speaking of which…

Orioles 6, Nationals 5: I know these are “natural” rivalries and all, but I can’t think of series I care less about than this one (close second and third listed in order after this one). Sure the Orioles are 4 games above .500 but have a -4 run differential which means they’re playing beyond themselves at this point. The Nats are sitting at 18-26. I just can’t even think of anything to say about these two teams. If this game were to somehow be on my television, I still might change the channel and I’ll watch any baseball game I see. Am I a bad person for not caring?

Rangers 6, Astros 2: Josh Hamilton is on a tear right now. He hit two HRs two nights ago and last night went 2-3. What I want to talk about however, is Michael Bourn. Anyone in Houston want to tell me how this guy still has a job? Is his defense knock-you-on-your-ass exciting? He’s got three errors on the season but he also has four assists. The reason I bring this up is because this guy is OPSing at .522. That’s not a typo. Sure his BABIP is .222 so his BA should come up, but .522? Is he out of options? Can the ‘Stros not send him down to AAA? Please email me or leave a comment. I have to know.

Mariners 4, Padres 2: I lived in Seattle for four years and you know what I learned that you all probably know just by listening to someone from Seattle talk about sports? They bitch and moan more than anyone besides a Utah Jazz fan. Every call, every article, everything said about the team whether negative or just simply honest and benign is because their teams are disrespected by the MSM. Let me clarify, Seattle fans think that no one gives a shit about their team so they take everything as a slight. Everything. If you dare to question Ichiro’s inability to take a walk, they jump on you and tell you he’s the greatest lead off man in baseball history (so fuck off, Ricky Henderson). Also their sports sections are the worst I’ve ever read. The Padres are just downright awful even with Jake Peavy. [End rant]

Rockies 3, Twins 2: These two teams are “natural” rivalries. I’m guessing the rational went something like this:
MLB Official A: Well, we’ve lined up all the natural rivalries for interleague play. Some of them don’t fit, but I stand by my work.
MLB Official B: Wait, what about these two? It looks like we left two team names in the bag. What do we got here? The Twins and the Rockies? They’re not naturally anything.
MLB Official A: Well, they’re both cold, woodsy places and they’re fanbases are predominately white.
MLB Official B: That’s racist.
MLB Official A: You’re racist.

White Sox 3, Giants 1: Barry Zito lost his eighth game of the year. I won’t rub it in because I don’t care. What I will talk about is this: Carlos Quentin is hitting third for a Major League ballclub. Here’s what I want you to do, loyal reader. I want you to travel back in time and tell me this would be true a year ago and I would’ve pissed myself laughing so hard. When you told me that he’s leading the AL in HRs, I would’ve called it overkill and punched you in your stupid, lying face. Then I would’ve been embarrassed and ashamed a year later. You see why time travel is so dangerous? Do you?

And….scene.