We’re currently on our way back from Mexico and Intern Jace is passed out on his couch after consuming too many Appletinis so there will be little to no content today. We will resume alienating our readership tomorrow.

Loyal reader, it is the time of the year when the American family leaves the comforts of their home and braves the American Highway whilst wearing a suit and hat.  Yes, the American family is coming into his own as a social unit and the summer time allows him to use some of his growing discretionary income for travel and pleasure.  As such, the MLJ family will be taking a bit of a hiatus this week while we explore the great American West.  I’m sure there will be an occasional post or two but I, for one am going to be embracing the real world for a bit* and disconnecting from the digital world.  I will check in occasionally via magical internet phone but that will be the extent of it.

Feel free to check in from time to time to see if there’s anything new up.

*In fucking Idaho…it’s like time travelling back to 1986.

As Stigs addressed in Quality Start, we are now on a new and improved server. We are still using HostICan’t but we have upgraded. When we asked why we kept crashing, HostICan’t responded, “Well, you pay for the lowest possible service available. Then you want to put up streaming video, scoreboard widgets, 5-8 posts a day, thousands and thousands of page views a day on posts that are really really big. What do you except for $5 a month?” To that we said, “Touche Salesman”. So we went and got ourselves some sponsors and they helped us pay for the server. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you tired of trying to access your favorite racist baseball site so you can read the inane things that a group of assholes you’ve never met think about sport you watch only in passing when football isn’t on, only to find that site shut down because the Aztec Day Laborers who run their server are taking a siesta?*  Well then I have a solution for you!

Major League Jerk is now offering you, the common, average, nothing of a human being that frequents our internet the opportunity to help us buy a new server!  You lucky sumbitch!  All you have to do is click that little “Donate” button at the bottom of the right column and you can give us money!  Lots and lots of money!

This money will be spent on upgrading the site’s server, buying beer, and just think about all the new activities we can plan.

What I’m saying is, we deserve your money.  All of it.  We work damn hard to provide you with the most mean spirited writing this side of Dan Shaughnessy and frankly we’re tired of giving it to you for free.  We can’t force you to donate money to us but if you don’t we’re going to come over to your house to force you to donate money to us. Read the rest of this entry »

Probably the only thing we’ve ever done that involved an actual famous person (sort of?).  We’re all big fans of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia so for Gonzo (may he rest in peace) t0 stalk this woman until she gave us a five minutes worth of answers?  Brilliant.  This was originally posted on Sept 11th 2008 (really?).

We have a real treat for you today, loyal readers. Thanks to our intrepid stalker, Gonzo, we have secured an interview with the hottest inbred, deaf-mute since Holly Hunter in The Piano. That’s right, we’re talking about none other than Thesy Surface. “Who?” you ask. Why, Margaret McPoyle of course – from the funniest show on television, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Those of you familiar with the site are undoubtedly aware of our love for the show due to its groundbreaking comedy, its willingness to turn conventional television plot lines on their ear, and the brilliance that is Charlie Day.

Again, Gonzo deserves all the credit for this stroke of brilliance. If it weren’t for his creepy emails and his nonthreatening stalking, we never would have landed an interview of this magnitude. See kids, if you pester someone long enough, they will eventually do whatever you want. So, without further ado, Thesy Surface.
Read the rest of this entry »

One year ago, we started this blog with a mission.  A mission to talk about sports the way you do at bars with your friends.  The way you do when everybody’s about six or seven deep and you start talking about your favorite short stops of the 1990’s and some idiot has the audacity to say that Jeter was better than Nomar.  So instead of bringing up all of Nomar’s superior stats, you start mocking him like the little bitch that he is.  Maybe you draw pictures of Jeter banging a dude.  Maybe you act out a play of him letting another grounder go past him up the middle.  Maybe you carve his name into the bathroom wall of the men’s bathroom talking about how he loves cock.  This is more or less what we’re going for here at MLJ.  Objectivity be damned.  Sure, sometimes we’re trying to be objective in our analysis…when it’s necessary.  But if you really wanted objective sports analysis you’re in the wrong place.  That’s not what we do here.

We’ve come a long way in a year.  We’ve gone through three redesigns.  We started with this which lasted all of a month before moving on to this which never had any server issues but was really limited in what we could and couldn’t do.  Finally, about three months ago, we switched over to the current layout.  We’re looking at redesigning our header so that we can actually display our logo (what a novel idea) but none of us are really savvy in the ways of web design.  The only one who really knew what he was doing was Rex and we hear he was kidnapped by the husband of one of his cougars.  It happens. Read the rest of this entry »

We’re about a week shy of the 1 year anniversary of the start of Major League Jerk so it’s not too surprising that we’re going through the kind of growing pains we’ve been experiencing around here lately. If you haven’t noticed, (if so, you’re either lucky or not as loyal as you should be), we’ve had server issues that have prevented people from accessing the site, we’ve had page loading issues that prevent you from reading the comment you just posted in addition to the general discomfort that goes with writing about sports on a daily basis.  We’re aware of the issues and are trying to fix them as they arise (more on that in a minute).

When we started this site a year ago, it was because we all thought our opinions were so great that we felt the world needed to hear them. After all, we’re serious minds that need to be recognized. Or maybe we just enjoyed having a forum to write about sports and make fun of each other’s favorite teams and cities. Either way, we did it because we had something to say and we enjoyed reading the opinions of our internet friends in something longer than a mere comment.  Read the rest of this entry »

1. The MLJ Commenter Draft is tomorrow night at 8pm EDT. If you are not in the league and would like to be please send an email here and make the subject line: MLJ Commenter League. It looks like we have 2 spots open. If you miss the draft, you will autodraft and probably select Alex Rodriguez’s crippled ass with your first pick at which point you will be the laughing stock of the website for all of eternity.

Remember, first place gets a t-shirt, second place gets a mug or something with our logo on it, third place dies.  And if I win you get nothing.  NOTHING!

2. Our March Madness tournament starts tomorrow (since that’s when the games start). If you’re interested in joining, send an email here and make the subject line: MLJ March Madness. I will send you a link to our tourney and information on where to send your “donation.” I think the pot is up to about $150 right now. Winner take all. Everything. Except for what paypal takes. Which is like .05/dollar per transaction. You’re basically losing it twice since you’re sending it to us and then we’re sending it back. But whatever you big baby.

3.  Believe it or not we’re interested in any tips or ideas you have for the site.  If you have any ideas for something you’d like to see, send us an email.  We might reject your idea and call you dirty words but we appreciate any and all feedback.  Have you written a post on your own blog and want it linked?  Send us a link.  We like to support friends of the site by sending five or six clicks your way.  Hell, if your post has boobs in it, that number could double or triple.

For most of us it’s a half day so we’re going to be sparse this afternoon.  We’ll post some break’d news if anything occurs but we probably won’t have anything until UTL tonight at 5-6 ish.  Sorry for those of you losers who have to work today.  But in our defense, you are losers.

I hope everyone likes the new design.  It’s not quite finished as we’re still bringing in some of the archives.  We may lose a few posts here and there but most of them are safe.  If you have any questions or notice a glitch, please feel free to shoot us an email.

A few things worth noting:

The Video of the Day.  We should probably change that to The MLJ Video of the Day when we feel like changing it.  For now, I like the idea of having a space to place a highlight of the night or a recap of a big game.  We’ll probably still have video posts too but this one will stand alone.

Login.  Wordpress logins will no longer work since we’re not on their server.  If you want your avatar to show up with your comments, you need to enter the email address that’s connected to your email.  Otherwise, it will be blank.  Avatars can be obtained at gravatar.com.

Posting.  This is a big one.  Since the baseball season ended, our posts have been a little sporadic.  That will change in the next week or so.  While we are still a baseball blog, we are primarily a sports blog.  From February through November I foresee the majority of our content focusing on baseball and our post scheduling will reflect that.  However, we will still be writing about anything we damn well feel like writing about.  Nonetheless, most days we will start at 9 with Quality Start, have Nothing to Click Here at noon (new daily feature), and finish it off with Under the Lights at 5.  We anticipate about 9 posts a day with baseball starting and we’ll be posting on the hour. Read the rest of this entry »