After seeing Hef’s bold prediction this morning, I felt it was time for me to make one of my own. I know much has been said about the Mets this off-season from the health of it’s players to it’s off-season acquisitions. Digesting all that information, I have decided to make a prediction on the Mets upcoming season. I believe that…. Read the rest of this entry »

Please take the time to bookmark this post and use it against me in August because I’m going to do something I don’t normally do: I’m going to make a bold prediction 2 months before the baseball season starts.  Everyone ready?

The Arizona Diamondbacks are going to win the NL Pennant this season.

In all of their moves this offseason, the Dbacks did nothing but improve.

Major Acquisitions:

Edwin Jackson:  A pitcher who’s an All-Star in the American League moves to the National League so of course he’s expected to better.  The kicker, he’s slotted for the three spot in the rotation provided that Brandon Webb stays healthy.  I see Jackson having a dominant year this year.

Ian Kennedy:  Wasn’t the knock on Kennedy always that he didn’t perform well in the spotlight?  Well, the fourth spot in the rotation in Arizona is about as far away from the spotlight as it gets.  There is absolutely no pressure on this guy this year so maybe he can step up.  And if he doesn’t then he helps bolster the bullpen.

Brandon Webb: Yes, Webb has been on the team since 2003 but he missed all but 3 innings last year with an injured shoulder which, according to reports, feels great.  All Webb needs to do, especially with Jackson in the rotation, is pitch at least as good as Doug Davis last year for this team to not lose any ground.  If he can do that for a few months as he gets back into the groove of things, this team should be fine.

Adam LaRoche: Definitely an improvement over Chad Tracy but I would have liked to see Brandon Allen get more ABs this season.  Nonetheless, LaRoche is good for about 20 or so HRs each season and is a much better defensive first basemen.

Kelly Johnson: The weakest position for the Snakes last year after Felipe Lopez was traded, Kelly Johnson should add runs to this lineup.  Yes, his glove isn’t exactly a selling point but he should be able to make people forget about it with his play at the plate.

Conor Jackson: After sitting out all of last year with Valley Fever, Conor Jackson is back in left field where he will be a marked improvement over Eric Byrnes and Alex Romero regardless of how good he is at the plate.  If he doesn’t return to form, Gerardo Parra is waiting in the wings after showing a great deal of potential last year.

Everywhere else the Snakes are likely to be better too: Read the rest of this entry »

It appears that nobody wants to win this goddamn thing.  Everybody just wants to lose it.  And other sports cliches. Here’s the original post for all of you who are thinking about bitching.

Remember, you get one point for a correct first round pick, two for second round, three for third, and five for the Super Bowl. Since both of my picks are out of the playoffs, I hang my head in shame.

The Leaderboard: Read the rest of this entry »

Before I left for Tucson this morning I realized, you know what I haven’t done in awhile?  Highlight the stupidity of the commentariat.  That shouldn’t take long.

When we last left our playoff pickem, the MLJ crew was whomping y’alls asses and you were like, “no, don’t hurt us” and we was all like “how else we gonna knock that stupid out ya?”  Yeah, that was tight.*

Remember, you get one point for a correct first round pick, two for second round, three for third, and five for the Super Bowl.  Since both of my picks are out of the playoffs, I hang my head in shame.

The Leaderboard: Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Thursday so we’ll fill some time with an update on who’s leading the way on the predictions we made last week.

The Early Leaders:
Hef: 3/4. Fucking Pats.
Clown: 3/4. Fucking Packers.
Roman: 3/4. (spits)
NickP: 3/4. Shoulda gone with your brain instead of your heart. Fucking Bengals are no good.
Spence: 3/4. Again, the Pats have failed us.
Sparty 3/4. He literally copied my exact picks. But since I made them first I win the shirt.
GatorTrey 3/4. NHOH.

The Middling Homos:
Triston: 2/4.
Paris: 2/4
BrawnyTom: 2/4
YoungLefty: 2/4 All of our commenters are apparently mediocre. I hope we never need them to bail us out of jail. They’d all probably forget their wallets or get stopped just outside the police station for a DUI.

The Duncan Shieks (Barely Breathing)*
Gonzo: 1/4. Turn in your name and password.
Arkbadger: 1/4. I expect better out of you Ark. I really do.
Illformula: 1/4. On the contrary this is exactly what I expect from Ill.

The Are You Fucking Kiddings?
Mrejr: 0/4. Seriously, lobotomy patients did better than this. You suck.

What does this mean?  The fuck if I know.  I just used this as an opportunity to mock your asses.  Good luck in the next round.  Go Cards.

*This joke would have been hilarious in 1997.

Remember our first encounter with MLJ nemesis Jim Trotter in which he made a bunch of silly predictions using ambiguous language?  Well I’ll be goddamned if I’m gonna let those predictions slide, especially since every single one of his “real” predictions is dead wrong.

1. The Broncos are not going to crash land.

Since starting the season 6-0, the Broncos have gone 2-7.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the very definition of crash landing.

4. New Orleans won’t go undefeated.

Hey, he got one right!  Too bad he changed his mind two weeks later and decided that the Saints would go undefeated.  Is that worth half credit?

6. The Steelers will not lose another regular-season game.

Lollerskates.  After he wrote this, the Steelers went on to lose their next 5 games in a row.  Against weak opponents.

9. Brett Favre will make a run at the MVP award.

Ha.  Since this was written, Favre has become his good old fashioned December self and has lost 3 out of 4 games in December.  If he finishes in the top 5 in MVP voting I will be stunned.

10. Pittsburgh will win the Super Bowl.

Well, they gotta make the playoffs first and right now they need some help.  They need to win Sunday and pray for the Jets to lose against a Cincy team that already has a playoff spot locked up.

Jim Trotter’s back with more predictions and they’re just as awesome and filled with silliness as last time!  Remember when he predicted the Steelers would go undefeated in the 2nd half of the season?  Remember when he predicted…wait, that was his only prediction from a list of 10 besides saying that the Saints would not go undefeated.  Oh well, strap on your mocking shoes, ladies and gents, because we’re going out on the town for some good old fashioned journalist mocking.

For the first time in NFL history two teams are undefeated after 11 games. If the Colts and Saints run the table and reach Super Bowl XLIV, they would face off in Land Shark Stadium, home of the Dolphins. How appropriate considering Miami is the only team in league history to go undefeated in a season, finishing 17-0 in 1972.

Now back to reality.

Wait, how is that not reality? Let’s do a reality checklist real quick:

• Are both teams undefeated right now? Check.
• Is it the first time there have been two undefeated teams after 11 games in NFL history? Check.
• Do both teams have relatively easy schedules remaining? Check.
• Is the SuperBowl being held in Miami this year? Check.
• Is it possible that both teams go undefeated and meet in the Super Bowl? Check.

How is that not reality? Are you saying it’s unrealistic to suggest that this scenario plays out?  Well sure.  That is sorta unlikely since it’s never happened before.  But if it were going to happen, this year seems like a pretty good year, all things considered.

New Orleans and Indianapolis have as much chance of reaching the Super Bowl unbeaten as Eric Mangini does of being voted Coach of the Year by his players. In fact, it’s not absurd to say that one or both teams will fail to get there.

First of all, Eric Mangini jokes are hilarious.  Always.  Especially from a Steelers homer (still standing by my claim).  Secondly, Trotter’s ability to frame his article in a way that is so blatantly obvious should be studied by future Editors as part of their training for dealing with simple minded columnists.  To wit:

Teams with best record in 2008: Tennessee, Carolina/NY Giants
Teams with best record in 2007: New England*, Dallas/Green Bay
Teams with best record in 2006: Chicago*, San Diego
Teams with best record in 2005: Seattle*, Indianapolis
Teams with best record in 2004: Pittsburgh, Philadelphia*
*Made it to the Super Bowl

In the last five years, the team with the best record in each league made the Super Bowl 4 out of 10 times. And none of those teams won the Super Bowl. So yes, Mr. Trotter, Captain of the Understated Prediction, “it’s not absurd to say that one or both teams will fail to get there” because getting to the Super Bowl is fucking hard.  Remember when New England went undefeated in the regular season and made the Super Bowl but lost on that one flukey catch by that guy who isn’t even in the league anymore?  Shit like that happens in football.  It happens all the time.  Maybe not as flukey as that, but still, it is rare when the best team in the league is that much better than the next best team.

The playoffs are all about matchups, and Indianapolis could find itself facing a San Diego team that has knocked it out of the postseason each of the past two years…

Okay, but what does past success have to do with future action? The Colts have been remarkable all year and Peyton Manning has been unstoppable. The Chargers, after a slow start, have looked good but they have no running game. Is it wise to rely on Phillip Rivers in a potential cold weather game* when his team can’t move the ball on the ground? And why mention San Diego? The standings are so tight that Indy could literally face 7 different teams in their first game of the playoffs.

And then what does Mr. Trotter do? He picks New Orleans to go 16-0 (after predicting they wouldn’t go undefeated just 3 weeks ago), and the Colts to go 15-1 with their one loss coming against the worst team to still be considered a contender, the Jacksonville Jaguars. Not to the Titans who have played inspired ball lately or the Broncos who actually have a defense and need to win to stay in the playoff hunt, the shitty ass Jaguars who are only even in the race because they have the easiest schedule of any other team this year.  Yes, he does this because the Colts might rest players after they cinch home field advantage which is his boldest prediction yet.

This is the same Jim Trotter who on Twitter last Sunday said that Anquan Boldin was more of a deep threat than Larry Fitzgerald even while acknowledging that Q has almost double the Yards After Reception. Never fear, a brilliant mind refuted his errors.

So thank you, Mr. Trotter.  You have filled the void left by Joe Morgan and Dan Shaughnessy during the baseball offseason.  You truly are my new favorite awful writer.

*I’m aware Indy plays in a dome, but they have to get past another team to get to Indy who has a first round bye

UPDATE: It appears I am now blocked from reading Mr. Trotter’s tweets.

Prior to Opening Day, I asked each of us to make a prediction as to which players would be 2009’s MVP’s, ROY’s, and CYA winners. It was a complete waste of time then and continues to be right now. But seeing as though the individual award season is winding down, I thought it’d be torture fun to look back at some of the predictions we all made back in March. Now you may be asking yourself, why are all the ladies attracted to Happy’s awesomeness and why is he linking us to a bunch of predictions we made back in March? Is it because he’s hilarious and so he could brag about the number of correct selections he made? Yes it is. No it isn’t. No, it’s because he’s so friggin’ good looking and this is just a fun little time-waster on a Monday afternoon. Enjoy.

NOTE: I realize that the NL MVP won’t be announced until tomorrow, but if the winner is anyone other than Albert Pujols, they might as well close up shop and cancel the whole thing anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that the regular season is all but over save for one more play-in game between the Twins and Tigers that will prove nothing whatsoever, I thought it’d be torture fun to take a look at the predictions we made back in March.

To be honest with you, this exercise is mostly an excuse to hindsightedly (real word) point out the back-and-forth commenting between Spencer and I where he tried to sell me on Fausto Carmona and I was having no part of it. Don’t you just love being able to point stuff out hindsightedly?

Ahem, please pay no attention to my division picks, where I finished a staggering zero for six. Read the rest of this entry »

The MLB playoffs are upon us and all the matchups that matter are set.  Now is your turn to match your brilliance against the greatest baseball minds the world has ever known.  Winner gets a piece of merchandise with our logo on it.  You lucky bastard.  Here’s a preview for each divisional series as well as our* official prediction.

Division Series:

Rockies/Phillies: I can’t really get behind the Phillies this year.  Last year I correctly picked them as the NL’s World Series representative but I have no faith in their pitching (down the stretch their pitching was the worst of the NL playoff teams) and the back end of the bullpen (even without Lidge) inspires absolutely no confidence in me.  Yes, they have Hamels and Lee and Happ but my gut feeling is they’re fallible.  Their offense is great and ended the year on a high note, 5th in the NL in OPS in September/October.  The problem is that two other playoff teams, the Rockies and the Cardinals hit the ball better during the same span.  The Rockies as you know have been hot since the All-Star break so it’s hard to call them flukey.  They almost won the NL West, finally chasing the Dodgers down to a one game lead before losing the last two of the season.  This is series is up in the air but I think I’ll take the Phils in 5.

Dodgers/Cardinals:  The Dodgers suck and have looked average over the past few months.  The Cardinals have a great pitching staff and an improved offense thanks to Matt Holliday.  This one’s easy: Cardinals in 4. Read the rest of this entry »