I feel so cool writing up my own Fraud City post. Maybe yous guys will accept me into the Jerk City Lodge Fraternity. I can finally be a part of all the inside jokes that are in the emails we exchange every day (adjusts monocle, nods at Happy, doesn’t give a shit, Hef ran out of swimmers, points & laughs).

Today’s team considered to be a fraud: the Philadelphia Eagles. Don’t get me wrong, I will always love them and root for them til the day I die. But I truly don’t understand how this team gathered 11 wins this year (While losing to the Raiders!). Shady McCoy is a rookie and still learning the ropes. Leonard Weaver had some nice games, but nothing to write home about. I realize that DeSean Jackson is da troof. And Jeremy Maclin had a surprisngly decent year with 50 catches. And Brent Celek  had a terrific year catching and running away from defenders. But I don’t think that will be enough to cover up their deficiencies on defense.

Coming up, Bulletpoints!!! (And pics of Kelly Brook, so be careful at work) Read the rest of this entry »

Oh, there’s a fuckton of guys who could be on here, but only the truly worthy few will find their way onto this, the most coveted of lists.  See, the QB position in itself is overrated…until you find yourself rooting for a team led by Ken Dorsey or Bruce Gradkowski that scores all of ZERO fucking offensive TD’s in the last SIX fucking games of the year…not that that has happened to me or anything.

There are a select few teams that are blessed with truly great QB’s.  The only TRULY great QB’s in the NFL anymore are Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Drew Brees, but even then, those guys are simply the figureheads for an overall unit that’s responsible for their success.  If the QB position itself wasn’t overrated, then why would Drew Brees, who put up one of the most absurd years in NFL history last year, miss the playoffs?  Why would Brady go down and the Patriots still manage to go 11-5?

The bottom line is football is the ultimate team game and ANY mention of team statistics when evaluating a QB’s worth is simply foolhardy, something we’ll touch on a few times throughout the course of this diatribe.  But before we get to the meat, lets see who missed the cut.

• Joe Flacco, BAL: A rookie who got a lot of praise for his “poise” and “coolness in the pocket” all while exhibiting the ACTUAL skill set of a retarded goat.  Accumulating the bulk of his stats against porous defenses like the Browns, Bengals and Jags, Flacco’s every flaw was exposed in the AFC Championship Game against the Steelers in a glorious display of single-browed goodness.
• Eli Manning, NYFF: Lets put it this way…he PLAYS like Peyton Manning’s little brother.  Yes, he has a ring, but lets not pretend that he was some great catalyst for that team or anything.  One of these days it has to click, but…I’m not holding my breath.
• Kerry Collins, TEN: Can someone explain how this performance gets you into the Pro Bowl?

More after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Hmm…perhaps I should’ve chosen a different topic.

When I was doing the research for this thing, it dawned on me just how un-important the inside linebackers are in a 3-4 scheme.  Coming up with five guys was a real challenge because the NT in a 3-4 is going to get most of the attention in the middle, and the OLB’s will get most of the attention because things get funneled their way and they collect all the sacks.

The ILB’s in a 3-4 are named “Mike” for the inside backer on the strong side and “Will” for the inside backer on the weak side.  When comparing a 3-4 LB with one who plays in a 4-3, their responsibilities are the same, there’s just a couple guys to take care of it.  The Mike is usually larger and takes the run stopping responsibilities while the Will is more coverage-y, but more often, like in Dom Capers’ and also Pittsburgh’s 3-4, you’ll see the two ILB’s being relatively interchangable.  It’s all about scheme.

But even while the last decade has seen an explosion of 3-4 defenses popping up all around the league, the position remains relatively anonymous and replaceable.  The DE has the big duty of handling the offensive line while the OLB’s get to swoop around and do all the highlight-y stuff while the ILB’s are nothing more than glorified maids, cleaning up all the garbage, and you know, MAKING TACKLES.  Whatever…nobody cares about that shit.

There’s not a lot of notable mentions so lets just get right to the list.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, this is a picture of a TE making a catch...do you have any idea how hard it is to find a picture of a TE blocking? They're fucking nonexistant. Deal with it.

Do you have any idea how fucking hard this was in today’s NFL?  Why the fuck do they even call these assholes TE’s anymore?  Seriously?  Why not just call them WR’s, watch them fluff around like a bunch of poofters and get it over with?  There’s one asshole in particular I’m quite familiar with, and that’s Kellen Winslow.  See, Kellen Winslow was TECHNICALLY a TE, but anyone who watched him play knows that the only tight ending he did was when he ran a route with his hand on the ground.  I have never seen a tight end more allergic to blocking than Kellen Winslow…

Until I changed the channel and saw any of the combination of Antonio Gates, Chris Cooley (WAY overrated), Dallas Clark, Alex Smith, Tony Gonzalez or the Saints version of Jeremy Shockey who doesn’t even attempt to block.  I’m sick of this…just call them WR’s.  Yes, they’re big and slower than typical WR’s, but if they’re not going to block, they have no business being called a tight end.

Onto the notables.

• Brandon Pettigrew, Detroit: How fucking sad is it that a guy who hasn’t even suited up in an actual game yet is one of the better blocking TE’s?  Well, a lot of it has to do with his game in college, where he was a tiny tackle with excellent technique who caught passes too.  This is what a TE is supposed to look like.
• John Carlson, Seattle: A rookie last year, Carlson showed the all-around game that I like in a TE.
• Zach Miller, Oakland: Another good all-around player.
• Jim Kleinsasser, Minny: Time has passed this dude by, but he’s still semi-effective.  And I don’t know if he’s a TE, FB or H-Back, so I couldn’t justify putting him on the big boy list.

Onto the actual list.

Read the rest of this entry »

The guard position in the NFL is, at once, one of the NFL’s most puzzling, diverse and least significant positions…unless you’re blessed with an elite player, which turns the position from being a turnstile for replacement level players to an area of strength.  Guards are puzzling in the sense that they are asked to have the strength to deal with king sized DT’s and the speed to handle LB’s at the second level while getting downfield.  They’re diverse because every system’s blocking schemes ask for different responsibilities.  And least significant because, let’s face it, tackles do the important stuff and are the most physically gifted players along the line while the centers deal with blocking assignments and making sure the line plays as one.

But then you see players like Alan Faneca in the early/mid-2000’s literally carry their offense, and arguably one of the best guards EVER in Steve Hutchinson make the Vikings’ OL a unit to be reckoned with even if the other four members of the line have serious defiencies.

The NFL has shifted it’s areas of importance.  No longer is the game played mostly between the tackles, instead becoming wider and wider, hence the importance of a tackle who can protect a QB’s blind side from the ever widening angles of attack pass rusher take.  Does this mean the guard is useless?  Far from it…because, while running has also shifted outwards, so too has the responsibility of the guard when it comes to pulling.

I’m not going to bore you with OL lingo about technique and scheme responsibility, because really, a guard is simply supposed to knock the fuck out of somebody in order for a hole to open up, so lets get to the list.  Actually…lets get to the guys who missed the cut first.

• Brian Waters, KC: Was once the prototypical guard (and is a North Texas alum…ahem) who has been slowed by age recently.  Waters’ technique remains flawless, but his physical ability is on the decline.
• Logan Mankins, NE: One of the top 10 interior linemen in the NFL, he’s not on the list because NE doesn’t ask the guards to move as much as a lot of other schemes do.
• Aaron Sears, TB: Very underrated guard, but not on the list just because of the guys who are on it.
• Leonard Davis, Dallas: A bust at tackle, Davis’ athleticism and sheer size makes him an excellent pulling guard.  He was miscast as a tackle, but has definitely found his niche as a guard.
• Robert Gallery, Oakland: Laugh if you will, but his technique and speed makes him a capable guard.  He wasn’t a good tackle because he has short arms and lacks lateral quickness, but as a guard, his straight-line speed and technique make him effective.

Now to the top 5.

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Well, it’s officially football time.  So in honor of football time, we’re going to take a look at some of the best guys at what they do in the NFL.  This won’t be like “best pass rusher,” because you can get that anywhere.  No, we here at MLJ are intelligent sports scholars, and we do MORE than just give you the basic bullshit.  We’ll be looking at things like “best run blocking TE” and “best cover 2 CB” and shit like that, why?  Because not every player can fit under the same description and the more specific you get, the better.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of DE’s to choose from, and compiling a top 5 was no easy feat.  And while there are a lot of deserving guys, there were some that had to be left out for various reasons.

• Julius Peppers: Because he’s lazy and hasn’t done shit to maximize limitless potential.  He could be Reggie White 2.0 if he actually gave a shit about football.  And to think…his cap number is over $16 million this year.
• Osi Umenyiora: Simple as this…he didn’t play last season.
• Robert Mathis: Great, but not as great as the guy on the other side of the line.
• Aaron Kampmann: In a 3-4 now.  Why?  I have no fucking idea.
• Kevin Williams: One of the best pass rushing DT’s but there’s only one DT who’ll end up on this list.
• Trent Cole: Damn good.
• John Abraham: Don’t think we haven’t forgotten the years and years of underachievement and injury.

Let’s get to the list.

5. Justin Tuck, New York Fagball Flukefrauds: Tuck is one of the most versatile, and scary defenders in the NFL.  He’ll occasionally line up on the inside in obvious passing downs and use his strength and quickness to create utter havoc in the middle of the line.  While Tuck’s not the fastest or most explosive DE in the league, he’s incredibly powerful and has an assortment of moves to get himself past tackles and collapse the pocket.  Relatively young, his future is as bright as any other DE’s in the league.

Read the rest of this entry »