The Hall has made its decision and that decision runs counter to the player’s wishes: Andre Dawson will enter the Baseball Hall of Fame as a Montreal Expo.

Dawson began his career in Montreal and put in 11 years of awesome, good time baseball before moving to Chicago to play with the worst baseball franchise in the history of worst baseball franchises.

“I’m disappointed,” Dawson told the ESPN Radio affiliate. “I can proudly say that because Chicago was my preference.”

A quick comparison:
Montreal: 1443 games, .280/.326/.476/.802, 225 HRs, 1 Rookie of the Year award, 6 Gold Gloves
Chicago: 867 games, .285/.327/.507/.834, 174 HRs, 1 MVP, 2 Gold Gloves

While putting in significantly more time in Montreal it’s pretty clear he played his best ball in Chicago.  All of his rate stats are better for the Cubs and his counting stats are damn close considering the game discrepancies.

I have to admit that I have always associated Dawson with the Cubs since I grew up in the 80s. I remember spending my summers at my friends house and watching the Cubs on WGN a lot. It was a good unit at the time and I hadn’t quite developed the level of hate in my heart that I now have. That was around the time I became a big Mark Grace fan (fuck you Will Clark).

But I don’t care what lid he wears into the Hall. I happen to prefer the old Expos caps to the Cubs hats more for the fact that I honestly dislike the Cubs more than from an aesthetic reason. Also, the city of Montreal deserves a boost after losing their lousy team to the District. And because of the 1994 strike that took away their best shot at winning a World Series. Also fuck the North side of Chicago.

Hint: Read the rest of this entry »

In order to preserve our creative juices for the work week when you need our brilliance the most we have decided to re-run some of our favoritest posts from years past. Today we have a rather topical piece. This was written by Roman last year on this very day. What are the odds?

See her. That is my sweet baby girl all ready for Halloween and frankly with nowhere to go. Why? Well, beside the fact that she is 9 months old and is barely eating Cheerios, it is because we have pussified the sacred holiday of Halloween. Or All Hallows Eve for the religious. Over the years the media, overzealous educators and all sorts of stupid pussies who don’t like hurt feelings or anything fun or out of the normal have convinced the rest of us that sending our kids out into the evening to knock on neighbors doors and ask for candy is wrong. That putting them in costumes that might be scary or funny or clever is just wrong and will mess with their heads and make them bad people. That allowing them to get themselves into some sort of harmless mischief is the worst thing imaginable. Halloween is one of the great American institutions being ruined by the PC police. It doesn’t have to be but we seem to allow it. Why? Because most of us would rather give in than fight for our right to do what we want. Because they use tactics to make us feel guilty and wrong for allowing our kids to be kids. And because we don’t have the time to put up the good fight and it is easier to roll with the punches. Read the rest of this entry »

I hate baseball

“The A’s take the bats out of their players’ hands from the time they’re in the minor leagues. Bobby was taught always to take the first pitch. They take all the aggressiveness out of their players. Look how much better guys like Eric Burns [sic] and Nick Swisher and Marco Scutaro have become once they got out of Oakland.” – Ed Crosby, retired Major League scout, and father of Bobby Crosby

Let’s do this in order.

Panda:  His OPS+ in just over 2 seasons in Oakland prior to being traded were 108, 111, and 112. His OPS+ in 3 seasons after that were 96, 104, and 62. This year he’s at 57. Scratch.

Nicky The Swish:  His OPS + in 3 full seasons in Oakland prior to being traded were 101, 125, and 127. His OPS+ last year with the White Sox was 92 and he’s at 123 so far this year. Scratch again.

Marco Scutaro: This guy sucked offensively for 5 straight seasons, one of which was with the Blue Jays last year. He’s doing well this year for the first time, but he’s 33 now, so the jury’s still out on whether or not this is one of those fluke-tastic seasons or if he’s going to continue being good. I know which way I’m leaning though.

Maybe one of these days Daric Barton will get traded and he’ll dominate for his new team and Ed Crosby will have his anecdote. But until then, he just sounds retarded.

via Press-Telegram

Your move, Sideburns

As baseball fans, we all get suckered into the MVP debate every year even if we claim not to care.  It’s a rite of passage. I have my guy, you have yours, and neither of us will be changing our pick regardless of how silly our argument might be. Which side of the debate you fall on is usually based on how you define the word “value”. To some, a player’s value is measured at least partially by looking at his team’s overall success. To others, the value of a player can only be measured solely on how good he is. Being the young hipster that I am, I tend to lead towards the latter. But I’m not willing to completely dismiss the first point of view. Read the rest of this entry »

If you haven’t been watching the Diamondbacks lately, and with their record of 47-59 I wouldn’t blame you if you haven’t, you’ve been missing some brilliant individual performances.  The quartet of Stephen Drew, Justin Upton, Mark Reynolds, and Miguel Montero have been brilliant lately and I would be remiss if I didn’t call attention to their outstanding play.

Many of you will remember that I predicted the Snakes to win the Wild Card and make the playoffs and these 4 guys are the reason why.

In last month, the four offensive stars of the team have been killing the ball.  Three of them have OPS’s over 1.000 and Justin Upton, who’s slumping yet still hitting near .900 OPS.  A breakdown:

Stephen Drew, a perennial slow starter, has been demonstrating his usual 2nd half brilliance.  He’s got a line of .344/.425/.602/1.027 since July 3rd.  He’s hit 8 2Bs, 5 3Bs and 2 HRs in the month and still has the prettiest swing in baseball while playing great defense. Read the rest of this entry »

Randy Johnson won his 300th game this past week and I’m guessing he doesn’t finish this season let alone start another so we’re getting to the point where it’s not only okay to talk about his Hall of Fame induction there’s very little about Randy Johnson worth talking about right now.  And since Randy’s a lock not only for the Hall but as a first ballot inductee with at least 98% of the vote, there’s really no point in talking about his chances there either.  Instead, let’s talk about what lid he wears when he gets in.

Seattle Mariners, 2:1 odds.  Randy became famous in Seattle and earned his reputation there as being a top notch pitcher.  He won his first Cy Young in Seattle in 1995 when he went 18-2 with an ERA of 2.48 (an ERA+ of 192) and came in 2nd two years later (to that cheater Roger Clemens).  But he was also wild when we first came to Seattle and was decidedly average his first four years there despite his high strikeout totals posting ERA+’s of 92, 108, 103, and 105.   While in Seattle he lead the league in K’s four times, but he also lead the league in walks three times (and HBP twice)–there were control issues that needed to be worked out.

Still, once you show up in Little Big League (one of the most underrated baseball movies out there IMO) as a Mariner it’s almost a lock.  Read the rest of this entry »

When presented with the baseball jobs I want the least, manager is damn near the top.  If you’re successful you’re praised for being brilliant when you know in your heart that all the credit belongs to the players on your team.  And of course if your success is followed by a down year, everyone calls you a fluke and you’re run out of town.  Obviously it’s the least important “coaching” position of all the major sports because your main job is creating a lineup card, calling maybe two or three plays and then setting the game in motion.  But, within the sphere of baseball, American and National League managers are two very different jobs.

I guess conventional wisdom is that it’s harder to manage the National League because there’s so many more decisions that a manager has to make.  He has to pinch hit for the pitcher around the sixth or seventh inning every night meaning he has to have a plan on who he’s going to use; he has to then decide whether to make a double switch and pull a pitcher who’s cruising in exchange for an extra run.  The NL manager uses his bench more frequently than his AL counterpart so he has to have a feel for the matchups and he’s also more likely to use up all of his position players in close/extra inning games.

The AL manager could go weeks without making an offensive substitution and because of that is able to keep a deeper bullpen which then allows him to use more pitchers based on matchups.  Whereas the NL manager is more hesitant to waste his entire bullpen/bench early in a close game for fear that he might run out of substitutions in late innings, the AL manager doesn’t have to worry about running out of offensive players and can instead focus on preserving leads through multiple pitching changes.  Joe Girardi, for example, blows through pitchers faster than Alyssa Milano. Read the rest of this entry »

I was explaining to my son why Manny Ramirez was suspended and how he was a cheater [Ed. Note--and how his cheating just started in LA and did not occur in Boston] when he asked me if Manny was a good hitter.

Hef: Probably the best right handed hitter in the game right now after Albert Pujols.
HeJew: Is he the best right handed hitter of all time?
Hef: No, but he’s up there.  He had a high average, he hit for power and got on base at a high rate.
HeJew: Who’s the best left handed hitter?
Hef: Ted Williams.
HeJew: Who’s the best right now?
Hef: Uh…um…I don’t know.

And I didn’t know.  No name immediately came to mind.  Ten years ago this wasn’t a problem; there were tons of lefties who were dominant: Griffey, Bonds, Thome, Palmeiro.  And they all came easily to mind.  Now? Read the rest of this entry »

Today is Opening Day. What happened last night counted but it is not the Opener. Opening Day is supposed to take place at 1:00 U.S. Standard Time in Cincinnati. And not because my Mets are playing there. It was always the case that the true Opener happened in Cincy. The first Professional Baseball Team is the Cincinnati Reds and the first game should always be in their ballpark. Think about it. The Bunting. The Marching Band. The nice Reds uniforms (except in the 80’s, Pete Rose squeezing into those bad boys was horrific.) I mean John McSherry dropped dead behind home plate at the Opener in Cincinnati. Why? Because the excitement of being part of the true Opening game in all of baseball made his heart a flutter. That and lots of high Cholesterol food.

So Fuck Sunday night (even though a Phillies loss is always good, a Braves win sucks balls). Fuck this Opening in Japan every other year . Let us Open the season in it’s rightful place. Cincinnati. Truthfully, they are only known for two things, Opening Day and…. Read the rest of this entry »