Why did they stop making that big red plastic “bomb” bat? Kids today have no idea what they’re missing.
The game is called Rock, Paper, Scissors. It is not called Paper, Scissors, Rock or Paper, Rock, Scissors. And starting it with Scissors should be a crime.
Why is it called pass interference? Shouldn’t the guy on defense want to do that? (a question from my wife that I could not answer)
I have a theory that the quality of the haircut decreases as the hotness of the girl cutting it increases. And yet, if I had my choice, I’m still going with the hot girl.
Why are there homeless people in cold-weather climates? It seems to me that all they’d need is a keen sense of direction to be able to hop on a train that was headed south.
I hate it when the bar of soap starts to near the end of its life-cycle. I never know what to do with it. Do I place it on top of the new bar of soap and hope that they fuse together? Nah then it looks like it has a tumor. I always just clean myself repeatedly until the little guy dissolves completely. You can bet that once my soap starts to near the end, I’m coming out of that shower with really clean junk.
At the end of “Major League”, are we really expected to believe that the reigning AL MVP (and triple crown winner) would strike out on 3 straight heaters? I don’t care that they were 100 mph. They were right over the plate and he knew they were coming.
I’ve been a big fan of Cheryl Hines, but after catching Star Wars on HBO about a week ago, I couldn’t help but notice her striking resemblance to Chewbacca.
Watching a sporting event at a friend’s who does not have HDTV is kind of like eating at McDonalds when you have steaks defrosted at home.
It has to suck to be a woman (unless you’re Sportsgal). They put up with football for 5 months, they get a couple-week break in late January and early February while we catch up on what we missed in the NBA, and then before they know it, pitchers and catchers have begun to report. Oh also, they bleed from their privates. But isn’t it great? No not the bleeding, the baseball. Of course it is because there’s a chance that your favorite team convinced Jeff Kent to retire. There’s a chance that your favorite team has a stud playing centerfield and leading off who has a great ass. Er, glove. There’s a chance that your favorite team signed all the best free agents in the off-season and should all die miserable deaths. There’s a chance that your favorite team isn’t the Cubs or Pirates. Late January and early February is a time for hope and joy. So if your wife and/or girlfriend starts giving you shit about another season that’s about to start, tell her that baseball is in your blood, and since you have an excess of it because you don’t bleed from your privates, there’s really nothing you can do about it. This time of year represents awesomeness, so if she was smart, she’d simply start liking sports.
