This is just too good to pass up. I don’t know if any of you remember this painting from the mid 90s. A market research group tried to figure out what Americans look for in a good painting and came up with the following list:
- An autumnal landscape with wild animals
- A family enjoying the outdoors
- The color blue,
- George Washington.
Check, check, check, and check. So we now have a painting that signifies only the lengths we will go to satisfy the masses. I must admit, though, it is mesmerizing.
In a similar vein, we now have the same research facility trying to determine what Americans hate in music to create the worst song ever. Some of the bad song elements included:
- Veering wildly between loud and quiet sections
- Changing between fast and slow tempos
- Songs over 25 minutes long
- Featuring timbres of extremely high and low pitch
- Each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition
Unfortunately, this backfired because the research forgot that if you combine enough bad elements together, it falls into the “so bad it’s good” realm of awesomeness. A brief sampling of the opening soprano rap with atonal vocal line and tuba bass:
Yo, I’m ropin’ up my saddle for the long long ride
Every time I see the desert there’s something inside says
Yo, yo, this is the life
Give me open land and a big ol’ knife
To get some bear, deer, even a snake
I light me a fire, do the shake and bake
I say yo, yo, I’m a cowboy now.
