Are all assists created equal?

No…no they’re not.

In a vacuum, an assist is an assist.  It’s a pass that gets you a bucket, right?  But, as with the hoop itself, there are more efficient assist men than others, guys who set up their teammates with either a high percentage shot at the rim or an uncontested three point attempt.  And obviously, it’s these two shots that are more preferable than say a mid or long range jumper…unless your team features a certain 7-foot, Shaggy from Scooby Doo looking German with impeccable touch in the mid and long ranges and a release point that’s nigh near unblockable.

So…guess which two players are quite good at setting up these kinds of shots?  And, really, this shouldn’t be surprising in the least if you’ve caught an NBA highlight once or twice in the past decade.

Over 75 percent of LeBron James’ assists yield a three pointer or a bucket at the rim, highlighting just how devastating LeBron James can be as a ball-hander.  If he’s not scoring himself, he commands the help defense and double-teams, opening up the high efficiency areas for his teammates.  Actually, 3.9 at rim assists per game understates how many buckets he yields at the rim.  In his last ten games, the Chosen One has dished out 5.7 assists per game at the basket, nevermind every other area on the floor.

Consider for a moment that Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Kobe Bryant, and Dirk Nowitzki each average fewer than 5.7 total assists per game. And LeBron leads the League in scoring.

Conversely, fellow All-Star Jason Kidd splits his assists between the mid-range and the high efficiency areas, which says as much about him as a distributor as who receives the delivery.   Dirk Nowitzki, the most frequent shooter on the Mavs, lives in the mid-range and chucks up a league leading 8.5 attempts per game from 16-23 feet.

And now…a graph.

(Graph H/T: Hardwood Paroxysm…just go to the link from above)

Brackets!: So I heard Andy Katz on Mike and Mike on my way into work this morning and concluded that if ESPN cares so little about college basketball that they’re going to have a monotone, boring moron like Andy Katz spew numbers about some liberal arts school in Idaho than it really must not be worth my effort to give a flying fuck.

Oh…and plus we all know Ohio State is gonna win it all anyways.  Villain, FTW!!!

Celtics 93, Cavs 104: Does anyone still consider Boston one of the elite teams in the NBA?  I didn’t think so…so then can someone please explain to me why ESPN keeps insisting they’re on par with the Cavs, Lakers, Nugs, Mavs and Magic?  The Celtics are clearly worse than all five of those teams.  And I don’t want to hear shit about how they’re only gearing up for the playoffs…the Celtics tried yesterday…they just weren’t that good.

And fuck Boston too.

Jazz 111, OKC 119: Westbrook and Durantula tore up the Jazz, both topping 30 with Westbrook chipping in 11 assists.  And the two whitest fanbases in the NBA were entertained.

PGA: Ernie Els won for the first time since forever at the WGC CA Championship in Miami at the Blue Monster at Doral over fellow South African Charl, yes Charl, Schwartzel by four strokes.  It was a pretty big win over a loaded field and a sign of good things to come for the chubby guy who sounds Australian but really isn’t.

You really didn’t miss much this weekend…unless you care about stupid shit like spring training baseball or a bunch of athletes masquerading as college students splitting into teams to see who can brick the most shots and fall over themselves in the most hysterical fashion.

…eat it.

I know it’s not Mursday, but Mursday is a state of mind and my mind is in Mursday so fucking deal with it and lets get down to bidness.

If it’s not too much to ask, could I have 17 minutes of your time this afternoon?  I really don’t think that’s too much to ask, I mean, if you’re in an office on a Friday, I don’t think you’re really doing all that much work anyways…

Today’s entrant is ‘merica’s own Iced Earth from the hotbed of modern American progressive metal, Tampa.  Don’t believe me that this band is metal enough?  Let me ask you this…what could possibly be more metal than a 17 minute, nut crunching musical opus through each level of hell inspired by Dante’s Inferno performed live in Athens, Greece?

The answer?  Nothing.  Nothing could possibly be more metal than that.

Here…here’s a link to a picture of a piece of titanium. And despite what you may think, this is still not as metal as a 17 minute, nut crunching musical opus through each level of hell inspired by Dante’s Inferno performed live in Athens, Greece.

Also…since you’re obviously not going to watch the entire videos (yes, videos), let me highlight a few choice segments:

• 2:00-5:30ish (1st video)…brutal metal.
• 6:30 (1st video)-1:00 (2nd video)…brutal metal (easily the best part of the song…but it’s unfortunately broken up).
• 2:00-4:00 (2nd video)…brutal metal.
• 4:30-end (2nd video)…gradual crescendo of brutal metal.

Part 2 after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

/stigs’d

Much like the NFL Draft, we at MLJ decided to mix shit up here and start it on a Friday.  Why?  Because when we (read: me) forget to continue the series on Monday, nobody will remember.  It’s fucking brilliant.  Oh, and we’re only going up to 10 because anything past that is a total crapshoot not even worth projecting, even for fun.

Who to draft, who to draft?

There’s a whole lot of speculation about a pair of Sooners and a Husker going no. 1 to the Gateway city, but I’m not so sure about any of those players as being what cures the Rams ailment.  Ok…I’m just joking.  If this pick isn’t NDAMUKONG SUH!!! then the Rams are going to be fucked for a decade.

But, much like the rumors circulating, I gave some serious thought to Sam Bradford at this spot.  You need a franchise QB, and while the cost is high and the risk is…risky, the Rams need that QB to get their team moving in the right direction.  I’m completely on board with the thought that you need a competent QB to succeed in today’s NFL, and while Bradford may or may not be that player, he’s easily the best QB of the draft.

So instead, with Suh, the Rams get a guy who can control the line of scrimmage and compliment incumbent DL-men Chris Long and Adam Carriker.  Are there doubts?  Sure…who knows if Suh will be able to master the hand and footwork technique that can make or break a DT’s career?  Also…while the physical domination was impressive, lets not pretend that the Big XII is a haven for top quality interior linemen like the SEC, Big Ten or ACC.

Regardless…give me the guy with the size and speed along the interior of the line over the guy with slick moves any day.  Slick moves work well when you’re facing guys with only skill or strength, not the combination of the two you see in every NFL lineman.  You can teach technique along the line, you can’t teach being a fucking animal, and Suh is a fucking animal.

Others considered: Sam Bradford, Gerald McCoy, Russell Okung.

Masters, bitch.

The “comeback” could’ve gone one of two ways…either retirement or a full fledged, 15-stroke win at Pebble, pissed off Tiger Woods ass whooping tour.  Right now, the ass whooping tour is the leader in the clubhouse.

Why else would he set the Masters as his return date? Sure, he can control the media and fan presence to a certain extent…well not him, but the Green Jacket Mafia, but still, you get the point.  I look at this in a different way, though…what better place to send a message that you’re back and you’re still the fucking king than coming to Augusta and rolling heads with an old fashioned Tiger beatdown?

Think about it from Tiger’s perspective.  He’s had just about everyone in the country talking about him getting his dick wet with some questionable slit, talking about how big of an asshole he is, how he’s a liar and a phony, how he’s diminished his legacy…

Wouldn’t you be pissed as all shit?  Especially considering that the only reason you’re a celebrity is being completely ignored?  When was the last time you heard anyone talk about Tiger’s actual GOLF?  Lets just think about this for a quick second…extremely pissed off dude in his golfing prime with the best mind the game has ever seen who’s going to be on a mission after three straight top 10’s at the place he’s won at four times before only this time, he’s completely rested.

This has all the makings of a bloodbath…and I can’t fucking wait.

BJ Upton…so good, so young.

He’s got a long ass chaw career ahead of him, that’s for sure.

(taken from front page of MLB section on SI.com)

After the jump…a future HOF’er in his prime. Read the rest of this entry »

Say you’re a whore and you’re thinking to yourself, “bitch, I wanna make some real fuckin’ money.”

Now, say there’s an upcoming event scheduled with people flocking in from all across the globe where a person of your line of work could potentially make a large sum of money.  But say this country was also home to 5.7 million people with AIDS.

Would England sending 42 million condoms to this country make you actually want to go?

Hmm…

Quote:

“The fans are ruthless and don’t deserve a winner,” Anderson wrote Tuesday in a terse e-mail when asked for a reaction to being released. “I will never forget getting cheered when I was injured. I know at times I wasn’t great. I hope and pray I’m playing when my team comes to town and (we) roll them.”

Again with this?

Listen Tim Couch Kellen Winslow Braylon Edwards we’re not booing you because you’re from Michigan/want more money/get injured, we’re booing you because you suck, do you see?  We as Cleveland fans have a lot of pent up frustrations…everyone in the world thinks we’re slack jawed yokels hacking away in a city with no sun, breathing air that tastes like burning and crying ourselves to sleep every night because we still like Players Club jackets, but one thing that puts us over the edge is fucking bullshit scapegoating that WE as fans are the fucking problem.

Listen, Derek, Horse Balls, bubaloo…you were THE SINGLE WORST QUARTERBACK IN THE ENTIRE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE LAST YEAR.  I repeat…YOU, DEREK ANDERSON, WERE THE WORST QUARTERBACK IN THE ENTIRE NFL, behind such luminaries and gunslingers like Seneca Wallace, Alex Smith and Chad Henne.  What kind of drool bib wearing rubes do you think we would have to be to continue to support a guy who, in two seasons, had so thoroughly betrayed our trust with such a cavalcade of screen passes thrown to feet and a 3-yard slant thrown 3-yards behind?

And this isn’t confined to just here, as witnessed in Milton Bradley’s racially charged bitching out of a city that begins with C and rhymes with “hicago.”  This kind of shit happens seemingly two or three times per year from various athletes, and why?  First, why is it surprising?  Second, why do you think we’re booing after seeing your 50% completion rate or .240 batting average on the jumbo-tron?  It’s not that we don’t like you as people because we don’t know you as people…our only connection with you is what you do on your respective field of play, and when you shit all over that field of play, we’re not going to be happy. Read the rest of this entry »

As NFL free agency’s opening din dies down we can finally see who fucked up.

Why waste time?  Lets just dig in!

Dumb – Bears sign Julius Peppers: Nothing says smart deal like giving a guy with serious motivational issues additional media and fanbase pressure and enough money to ensure that his children’s children’s children will never have to motivate themselves ever again.

Dumber – Bears sign Chester Taylor: Before you get all pissed, this has nothing to do with Taylor the player.  Well, it partly does because, while great, Taylor is good for one back-crushing, dick punching brainfart per game, and when you’re 31 years old at a position where you don’t age well, well, I can think of better positions to invest $7 mil guaranteed…especially when you consider that Taylor’s nothing more than a part-timer.  But still…if this weren’t A FUCKING RUNNING BACK OVER 30, this would be a great signing…too bad it’s not.

Dumb – Jags sign Aaron Kampman: This is dumb because Kampman is way overrated whether he keeps his hand on the ground or is standing up in a 3-4.  Not a whole lot of insight there, but you get the gist.  Have fun watching opposing LT’s shove him 5 yards back every running play while he compiles sacks against the worst opponents in the most meaningless games and is completely invisible against quality competition!

Dumber – Lions sign Kyle VandenBosch: I like him but he’s old, injury prone and playing on a DL that’s got next to no talent.  These are not the kind of signings that turn your team around, Detroit. Read the rest of this entry »