Author Archives: spencer096

The Day After

Dr. Stella Handworker:  So Joe…tell me about your relapse.

Posted in NFL | Tagged | 2 Comments

What is wrong with you, Forbes.com?

Every time I click on a forbes.com link, I have the same mindset.  ”Maybe THIS is the time where forbes.com got their heads out of their asses and quit this whole slideshow bullshit.”  Every.  Single.  Time. And, likewise, every single … Continue reading

Posted in Whatnot | 17 Comments

Quality Start

Thank you, but shit, I didn’t miss staring out at you fat ugly fucks while I was gone. It was a hard decision to come back, one I had to make with my family.  Just kidding…you think I give a … Continue reading

Posted in College | 2 Comments

I Hear You Need Car

New friend, come!  Come! You are in the luck today, friend, for I have solution to all of your problem.  You need new car, I have new car with all the whistles and the bells.  When you pull up to … Continue reading

Posted in Whatnot | 4 Comments

Quality Start

So I was trying to write this yesterday, you know start the week off with a bang and all that?  Well, it failed miserably in part because, at the time, I had the intellectual function of Syd Barrett and in … Continue reading

Posted in Whatnot | 7 Comments

Metal Mursday

Happy Mursday everybody! Now, I know you’ve all been sitting there patiently waiting for the next metal band to listen to for 15 minutes until you move onto something else, and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.  But … Continue reading

Posted in Metal Mursday | Tagged | 4 Comments

Joe Flacco Goes on Safari

John Harbaugh: All right, Joe.  Big game.  I know it’s been a short week and we’re coming off of a big win, but we really need a good game here to make a statement in the division.

Posted in NFL | Tagged | 6 Comments

MLJ Tobacco Hall of Fame

The Tyler Rose in an 80′s commercial for fucking Skoal. Honestly, I had no idea Skoal, or any tobacco company, could advertise on TV at all.  I had never seen it.  Sure, I’d seen the Marlboro and Winston advertisements on … Continue reading

Posted in Whatnot | 12 Comments

Metal Mursday

Aw hell yea…today is the day, my pretties. Today, the 15th-est of July…I Dr. 096 will be attending the concert to end all concerts.  Dream Theater.  Iron Maiden. You haven’t seen excited until you’ve felt how wet my panties are. … Continue reading

Posted in Whatnot | 5 Comments

Dear NE Ohio,

Stop making me look like an ass, ok? Stop acting like little fucking 13 year old girls who just got dumped, it’s fucking pathetic.  Grow a fucking set of nuts and get on with your lives because this is SOOOOOO … Continue reading

Posted in NBA | 1 Comment