Hello everyone. Since I am fairly certain I may be the only Irish dude who writes for this site (We have a lot of Germans, Wops and a Jew) I would like to wish you all a Happy St. Patrick’s day. Why? Because it is the best fucking holiday of the year. In my family, we very rarely acknowledged birthdays or other such happy occasions. This has caused me to have some psychotic aversion to my birthday that I have issues explaining today and I have no desire to fix. One holiday my family does give a shit about is St. Patrick’s Day. My grandmother, who has passed on, used to call my house every March 17th before we went to school. Not because she cared how we were doing but because she wanted to make sure my mother had us dressed in green. That has stuck with me. In fact, I had to dig through my closet to find a green polo shirt to wear to work just so I wouldn’t let Grandma Bee down. Read the rest of this entry »

HOOOOOOOOOZAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Tis time for all of us to watch CBS and rejoice as a bunch of colleges are put into different Bracket slots to play in a tournament for an NCAA Championship and more importantly our office pools. I can’t wait to fill out 15 different brackets with 15 different scenarios and then pick out of a hat and get St. Mary’s or Cornell to win it all.  It is as American as defaulting on your mortgage. After that is all said and done and Dick Vitale is done bitching how School A should be in but won’t tell you who should be out instead, turn on HBO for the premier of the 10 part miniseries The Pacific. It is made by the same people who made Band of Brothers (Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and company) and if it is even half as good as that then we should be very happy.

Good Morning, worshipers of humor and half-assed effort. I was all prepared this morning to tell all of you about the greatness of Manny Pacquiao. It would have involved superlatives, a bit of an emotional breakdown of how we are watching greatness in real time, a few more superlatives and a longing for him to fight Floyd Mayweather. Well, I am sure he did superlative things, was greatness in real time, a few more superlatives and he should fight Mayweather but I passed out in the second round so I am not the guy to tell you these things this morning. Read the rest of this entry »

Today we lost one of our finest thespians, Corey Haim. Some of us will choose to remember him from the Lost Boys, others will always remember his portrayal of the quirky, sweet-hearted boy in Lucas and others may remember him from the dumpster behind the Viper Room where he shot up his heroin. While all of theses are roles he played well, I will always remember him as the cool rapscallion from License to Drive who failed his driving test but told his parents he passed and then took his grandfather’s car out for a night of shenanigans. The movie was an HBO staple and I must of watched it a few hundred times as a child.

So to Corey, I say this:

Get out of my Dreams and into God’s car.

Good Night, sweet prince. Read the rest of this entry »

Good evening, everyone. Tonight is the Oscars and as of right now I can’t watch them. Not that I was going to but ABC pulled it’s network off of Cablevision. I hate that shit. A bunch of billionaires fighting over how much money is going to come out of my pocket to watch a network. I will watch Modern Family on Hulu or some shit and besides that, fuck ABC. Anywho, I am watching the season finale of Big Love regardless. Amanda Seyfried and her terrific ass will not be having a gratuitous sex scene this week since she is leaving the show to become a big star. They got rid of the actress who played the ugly younger sister and replaced her with a hot chick then put glasses on her so we would know she is supposed to be the ugly one. Nice casting Big Love. Always keep me coming back for some more polygamist sex.

Enjoy your evening. Go kick a loved one or something clown thinks you should do.

Good morning fans of the ribald written word. I woke up this morning after a good 10 hours of beer induced sleep to feed Little RamonaWarHelmet her oatmeal and bananas to see the sun shining. I opened the door and felt the lukewarm 50 degree breeze hit my face and knew that today is a new day. A good day. The sun has finally melted the mountains of snow and Spring may almost finally sort of be upon us. Eat it Groundhog.

With very little going on in sports I care about, I have decided to turn a new leaf on my Met negativity and turn positive. Even with Jose Reyes’s Thyroid Condition keeping him out of practice. And Mike Pelfrey getting drilled in the knee by a line drive. And Carlos Beltran not running and just staring at pitches go past him from a pitching machine. And Gary Matthews Jr. wearing a Met uniform. And Daniel Murphy still being referred to as the starting first baseman. And the one Met game I get to watch since September will have Oliver Perez starting. And stories about Luis Castillo working on his range with the coach responsible basically saying there isn’t much of a chance of it working. None of this will deter me. Why? Ike Davis. Jenrry Mejia. Josh Thole. Fernando Martinez. Read the rest of this entry »

Luis Castillo spent his off season working out with and teaching Emilio Bonifacio.

“We’re the same players, me and him,” Castillo told the Miami Herald. “That’s what I tell him.” Read the rest of this entry »

Good middle of the afternoon everybody! The reason why this post is so early, besides me not giving a shit, is that the Olympic Hockey Gold Medal Finals is about to start. In this match up, the big bad Canadians put a bunch of overpriced, over-hyped millionaires on it’s own ice to play our U.S. team made up of gritty, gutty underdog millionaires in a winner takes all battle that will be forgotten south of the Canadian border by Tuesday evening. Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning. I am in no mood for cheer and goodwill. I have been dealing with a week in which my priorities in life have changed. I must now be more diligent and on top of things at work. In doing that I must be less diligent and on the bottom of things at MLJ. If I don’t do the former, I am fairly certain I will have plenty of time to be diligent and on top of things at the latter. I would get in to more but truthfully it is boring to others not involved. Let’s just say we had a regime change at the Cracker Factory and what was once acceptable and expected is no longer acceptable and expected. I was once a magnanimous leader to my people. Now I will be telling them that they can’t wear headphones as they work. So is life.

In my sporting world, nothing much is going on. I, like about a third of America, has the Olympics on in the background of life but if you ask me for a favorite moment or event, I couldn’t tell you. Really, it’s just on. I like the curling but it is the same thing over and over. I can’t wait for baseball to start. The stories in New York yesterday all revolved around Ike Davis and his being the next Mets first baseman. My gut is he will be the Met First Baseman by the end of May or whatever date pushes his arbitration years back a season. If he is a monster this spring, they will have no choice. The amount of stories about Ike on one date tells me the Mets PR is putting it out there to let us know Ike is not just the future but close to being the present. It certainly makes for a better spring story than Daniel Murphy and Mike Jacobs “battling” it our for the starting job. Read the rest of this entry »

Sandy Koufax and Johan Santana watch Oliver Perez throw a bullpen session.

Is this like two great chefs watching a Handi-capable kid flip burgers at McDonald’s?