Wow! What a wonderful day of hoops. Did you see that one favorite do that one thing? Or that underdog survive to fight another day!?? It. Was. Insane.

—

If it appears that I haven’t seen a basketball game all day long, that’s because I haven’t. I’m on an airplane headed to Louisiana. I’ll be in New Orleans for the next six days. Five of those days will be spent working, but tonight, I’ll be on the campus of LSU for a night of fun.

To our Baton Rouge readers (/waves at no one), if you see me tonight, I’ll let you buy me a drink.

Enjoy the rest of today’s tourney action, and don’t miss tonight’s SNL (/nods at clown).

NickP out!

The Cleveland Cavaliers. The Ohio State University. Xavier University.  Three teams from Ohio entered the ring. Three emerged victorious. Just another day in the life of a Ohio resident.

/shoots gun!

In other interesting news, the following double digit seeds advanced to Round 2: Missouri #10, Cornell #12, and Georgia Tech #10.

In other, other interesting news, Evan Turner > John Wall.

In other, other interesting news, Evan Turner > John Wall Michael Jordan.

/fixed
/CursedCleveland

Finally, Sparty is a fraud, and the refs gave them their win last night.

The tourney starts up again at 1:05, with #10 St. Mary’s facing off against #2 Villanova. ‘Nova looked semi-fraudy in a win on Thursday, so this could be an upset special. Keep an eye on it.

After that, Ohio College takes on a fraudy SEC team. Can Cinderella survive? The answer to that question may play an integral role in who wins an MLJ sponsored dick towel. Current standings here.

Ok, friends. That’s it for me. Have a good Saturday of hoops.

Ohio University Bobcats! Akron Zips! For all the marbles!

At 6 PM this evening, the world stops. All eyes will be on the house that Lebron built, where two groups of MAC warriors will be squaring off. And I’ll be there!

For our Cleveland readers, if you can find me at Harry Buffalo before the game, first beer is on Major League Jerk. (Hef gave me the company credit card.)

I’ll be the 6′3, 220 pound black guy with the hat.

In other news:

The Buckeyes are frauding themselves out of a number one seed. They’re currently down 8 versus a mediocre Illinois squad. I see a first weekend exit from the Bucks. Prepare your brackets accordingly.

Kentucky is blowing out Tennessee. The Wildcats have 3 guys projected to go in the top 11 picks in this summer’s NBA draft. The last time (I think) a team had 3 top 11 picks was Florida, and they won back-to-back titles.

Houston already busted some team’s bubble by winning the Conference USA title earlier today. That sucks for [some team...not really a big enough college fan to know who got screwed].

In other, other news:

What’s taking you guys so long to sign up for MLJ fantasy baseball? There are still four spots left. We can even open up more if necessary. Let’s go. Hef told you how to sign up here.

Some sleepers:

1. Jose Reyes

2. Daniel Murphy

3. Jason Bay

Read the rest of this entry »

Good afternoon, readers. Sorry for the tardiness of this post. I’ve started volunteering at a soup kitchen on Saturday mornings, and I wasn’t able to churn out a QS for your reading pleasure. I do hope you understand. Let’s take a quick peak at last night’s happenings.

Cavs 99 Pis-dones 92: Early on, it looked like the Cavs were going to be unable to overcome the absence of Boobie Gibson (who just had a kid with Keyshia Cole). They quickly spotted Detroit 20 points, and it looked like Snuggie Night was going to end in disappointment. [Quick aside: Big shoutout to the sucker who paid $200 above face for my pair of tickets last night. Gracias.] Back to the game. Lebron did what Lebron do, and the Cavs won handily.

Charlotte 98, Lakers 83: Road games in the NBA aren’t easy to win. That’s a lesson the Lakers (who feasted on home games the first 2/3 of the season) are now learning. To Kobe’s credit, I’ve never seen a player will a team to a 15 point loss with such tenacity. That guy is a true winner.

Wager

The Lakers second loss in a row allows me to segue into telling you about a bet between me and Clown. On January 14, I said that the Lakers would not win 60 games. At the time, it probably looked like pure craziness and just the talk of a devout Lakers h8r. Los Angeles was 30-9 and appeared to be clicking on all cylinders. However, being a Basketball Expert, I spotted a few chinks in the armor and was able to dupe Clown into a bet. If the Lakers maintain their current pace (I realize this is a pedestrian way to forecast), they will come up just short and win 59 games. But both Clown and I have some points in our favor that could ultimately sway this bet. Let’s take a look.

Positives for me

1. Even after this most recent road trip, the Lakers still have 12 roadies left (out of 19 total).

2. The Lakers are comfortably in the driver’s seat in the West and clearly have no shot of catching the Cavs for the overall #1 seed. With nothing to play for seeding-wise, the Lakers may choose to rest their big men down the stretch. That could cost Clown a few much needed wins. It’s a shame the weakness and lack of depth at the top end of the “B”estern conference may end up hurting Clown in the end.

Positives for Clown

1. As much as I rag on the Lakers, they are an elite team. It’s certainly not out of the realm of possibilities that they shake off their recent slump and get back to their winning ways. And importantly, they don’t play the Cavs again this season, so Clown doesn’t have to worry about the Lakers losing another one to Cleveland.

2. The Lakers may choose to “rest” Kobe for an extended period. So far this year, LA has lost 17 games with Kobe in the line-up and a grand total of zero wthout his services. This, above anything else, is what worries me the most. If Phil Jackson came out and said that he was going to sit Kobe for 5-6 games, I’d forfeit to Clown immediately and save myself the embarrassment of waiting out the inevitable.

Clown vs. NickP: Who ya got?

Quick preview of tonight:

Cavs at Bucks, a cool looking Magic-Bird documentary on HBO, and North Carolina-Duke for the fagball clique.

Another quickie for the crowd: Better Beck album: Sea Change or Odelay?

USA 6 – Finland 1. We did it, you guys! I think this win over our heated rival puts us in the gold medal game against Canada. It should be thrilling.

/didn’t watch a single second

//nods at hockey hating brethren

Other stuff happened last night, notably in the NBA. Also stuff happened in minor league fag hoops.

I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow morning on a 7:45 AM flight. It’s for work, but it gets me the F out of Cleveland. Currently, there’s an ass pile of snow on the ground with more on the way. If this alters my flight plans at all or, in a worst case scenario, I get Dallas’d — I’m going to kick a kid.

You see, my agitation level is running higher than normal these days. This winter weather is destroying my will to live. It needs to get warm really soon.

/glares at Hef

OK. Enough fun for me. Enjoy your morning.

Oh yeah, quick question for the audience: Better Cusack joint — High Fidelity or Being John Malkovich? Discuss.

Fuck!

Morning!! Time to get listy on a Sunday morning.

Top Six Seinfeld Episodes, NickP Edition:

6. Merv Griffin Show — What is this, amateur hour?

5. Puerto Rican Day Parade — For many, this isn’t even an average Seinfeld episode, but I love it. The exchange between Kramer, Seinfeld, and George in the apartment-for-sale kills me everytime.

4. Kenny Rogers’ Roasters — “That’s not going to be good for business.” — “That’s not going to be good for anyone.”

3.Elaine and the Video Store Guy — Never go with a Gene Pick.

2. Bizarro Jerry — Sorry…we already have a George.

1. The Hot Tub — This son of a bitch is ice cold!

What am I missing?

To see what happened in sports last night, go here:

http://5z8.info/racist_u1a0o_white-power-rides-upon-stallions-unstoppable

Welcome back, everyone. By the time you read this, I’ll be on a party bus to celebrate a friend’s 28th birthday. You see, Cleveland has such interesting suburbs and boroughs that you really need a bus to get to all of them. To wit, we will be visting:

1. Parma – White trash

2. Lakewood – Gays and lesbians

3. The Flats – Borderline ghetto. Hold on to your wallets.

4. East suburbs – Hef’s people

5. Downtown – Jersey Shore light

6. Map Room – The last and only 100% guaranteed fun stop on the trip.

That’s my evening. What are the rest of you up to?

Sports and junk here.

As I sit here in the most miserable city in the United States, I figured I would subject you to some ramblings, in lieu of scores and highlights. Sounds good? Sounds good.

1. LOST is dead to me. This show is a joke, and the writers are laughing at those of us who are still watching. Just get it over with already. This sums it up. (Thx Spence)

2. We don’t need any more sabermetric primers to be written by the blogosphere. Almost daily a new “What is wOBA?” post pops up. If people really want to know about wOBA, they can google it like the rest of us did. Or just start reading The Book.

3. Ranking the best picture candidates: The Hurt Locker > Up > Up In The Air > Avatar (just the ones I’ve seen)

4. Saw Crazy Heart last week. Jeff Bridges is a surefire Best Actor winner. Maggie Gyllenhaal didn’t deserve her nomination.

5. Modern Family is the best show on network television.

6. Chris Antonetti getting the nod for the Indians after Shapiro moves up the ladder is a great move for the Indians. Shapiro’s kind of overrated anyway, and Antonetti is a hot property.

7. Fuck this city.

8. Question for the audience. Who was hotter in their primes (to the extent you believe either had a prime): Renee Zellweger or Drew Barrymore?

That’s it for me. Enjoy your day.

There’s not much going on tonight in the land of sports. The Cavs aren’t playing, so you have my permission to take a night off on watching the NBA. The college hoopsters are probably playing a full slate, but that sport is geared towards fags, so that rules out (most of) our readership. The footballers will be back tomorrow night with the Pro Bowl. Roman will get you all pumped up for that at the appropriate time. I guess that just leaves regular ol’ television. Let’s check out a random sample of what’s on tonight, yeah?

Shallow Hal at 7:30 on FX. This is one of the watchable (the only watchable?) Jack Black movies. Gwyneth Paltrow takes a comedic turn and pulls it off. Not a great flick, but worth a viewing if you haven’t seen it.

Jurassic Park at 8:45 on one of the HBOs. If you don’t like this movie, you suck. It has dinosaurs, Newman (/hyena’d), and Samuel L. Jackson. What more do you want?

Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. Am I the only person in ‘Merica who hasn’t seen this piece of garbage? If I’m not, show yourself in the comment section. I’ll shake your hand.

Half Baked at 9 on BET. This movie is twelve years old? Damn, I’m getting old.

Obligatory Saturday Night Live at 11:30 on NBC. The dude from Mad Men is hosting what will surely underwhelm.

That’s it for me, people. Have a good one.