P.S. Someone please hook me up with those headphones. Thanks.

Today turned out to be a pretty good day at MLJ, I must say. Spencer taught us whether an NFL free agent signing was bad or really bad, Happy taught us that fans of their AL Central foes are giddy about the Twins’ Joe Nathan possibly missing the year, Hef hipped us up to some gossipy stuff that he swore he was too good for, as well as teaching us that the Arizona Cardinals will probably be okay due to playing in the worst division in professional sports. Also, there was a fantasy baseball update and stuff, of which I don’t give a shit because I’m taking the year off.

Lotsa shit on the tube tonight:

• American Idol (FOX)
• Lost (ABC)
• Parenthood (NBC) [I watched the original and it was a little syrupy for my taste, but I'll give anything with Craig T. Nelson a second chance]
• A couple of mid-major finals on the ESPNs

On the NBA sked:

• Heat at Bobcats
• Sixers at Pacers
• Rockets at Bullets
• Clip Show at Magic
• Jazz at Bulls
• Celtics at Bucks
• Kings at Blazers
• Raptors at Lakers

Have yourself a glorious evening. It’s currently 80 and sunny right now, so I’m gonna go play outside. Holla at your boy and don’t forget to give a loved one a hug and a kiss.

It was a wild and woolly night in the L. Let’s get straight to the good stuff.

Mavericks 125, TWolves 112: Dallas – winners of 12 straight – are playing the best ball in the Association right now and sit only 2.5 games out of the top spot in the Bestern Conference. Matrix had a beastly 29 and 14 night, Nowitzness chipped in 24, while former clown high school rival Eduardo Najera chipped in 9. Al Jefferson had 36 for hapless Minnesota.

Knicks 99, Hawks 98: Josh Smith , who had an otherwise fine night with 25 points and 10 rebounds, got rejected with under 2 seconds left and Al Horford couldn’t get the putback basket in time as Atlanta took the loss against lowly New York.

Cavs 97, Spurs 95: LeBron took yet another game off, spitting in the face of his loyal Cleveland minions. It reminds me of last year, when Icon sat the last game out against Philly and they had the chance to tie the all-time best home record. He should’ve played that night because, in hindsight, that would have been the only thing that made last year’s season memorable, besides the Leastern Finals Game 2 buzzer-beater fluke. San Antonio came in and still played it close, despite not having the heart and soul of their team, Tony Parker, and having Joey Crawford reffing a Tim Duncan game.

Hornets 135, Warriors 131: Stephen Curry went 5-13 from the field for 12 points. Did someone say fraud?

Grizz 107, Nets 101: Memphis sits 3.5 games out of a playoff spot. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

I like how Durantula says he loves it in Oklahoma City and he doesn’t talk about his off-court business ventures or his focus on becoming a Global Icon. He’s honed in on making his team better, and at the same time making himself a better basketball player.

Per TMZ a second victim has come forward – this time in Georgia.

I’m not gonna lie to you. Today was possibly one of the more underwhelming days in the annals of MLJ-dom. I can’t speak for the rest of the gentlemen on the staff, but on my end it’s been a bunch of bullcorn at work, so I haven’t been able to keep up with my usual number spacefillers and mindbendingly genius-like comments. Have I failed you? I guess you can say that. But this is my promise to you: whenever I get my shit together*, I’m gonna devote myself to this great blog on a full-time basis. You lucky bastards.

What’s going on tonight!™

I’m getting a haircut. Sometimes I consider going for the Gonzo look and cutting my own hair. Shit’s getting expensive. But then other times I think about going The Sports Hernia route and dropping 3 hundy at Toni & Guy for a faux hawk. Make me feel better about myself and shit. Eh, I’ll probably just keep doin’ what I do and keep going to my old place every 1.25 months (approx).

What’s on the tube tonight!™

American Idol Females. Don’t think there’s a theme yet.

LOST It’s new.

Parenthood Series premiere. It’s like Modern Family (maybe), but it’s an hour long and produced by Brian Glazer. Stars Kristen Bell’s boyfriend. I’ll probably DVR.

College games tonight:

Nova @ Cincy – Can the Wildcats rebound from their Carrier Dome massacre?

Illinois @ Slowhio State – Catch Evan Turner, who is a Scottie Pippen/Penny Hardaway on the Magic hybrid**

Only one NBA game worth watching tonight: Kings @ Thunder.

Bonus Link: Interview with that chick from The Room

Have yourselves a fantastic evening, and don’t forget to tell and loved one how you feel. It’ll make their day.

*i.e., win the lottery
** per Cursed Cleveland

Thanks to one of my benevolent bosses, I had the good fortune to attend last night’s Longhorn game. It was Senior Night and I was hoping that Texas would get out of their recent doldrums, especially with it being it Damion, Dexter and Justin’s last game and all. Most of the first half was pretty crappy. Oklahoma seemingly couldn’t miss anything – that one white boy started out 4-4 from deep and that other black dude who used to wear long sleeves last year was hitting everything at will as well. I think the Land Thieves had an 11 point lead at one point. However, the Longhorns stepped it up in the last 4 minutes or so of the first half, going into halftime only down 2.

The 2nd half started out crappy. The Sooners once again built another double digit lead before Texas clamped down and played the basketball that many Longhorn fans expected going into the year. Hardnosed defense, getting Sexy Dexy involved and fairly efficient shooting from deep. I think the usually docile crowd sensed this team was turning a new leaf, and stood for the last ten minutes of the game. I guess we’ll see when they play at Baylor on Saturday if this was a real change or just a good half against a crappy Sooner squad.

I’m gonna miss the Seniors. I really think that with the right coaching staff, Dexter and Damion can be successful at the NBA level. I hope it works out.

NBA

Cavs 124, Knicks 93: Lebron’s lack of D led to many breakaway dunks. Does he cross halfcourt? He’s worse than the oldtimers at the Y.

Mavs 89, Bobcats 84: Dallas is beastin’ right now, winners of 8 in a row. I guess they traded for the good former Wizards.

Blazers 103, Grizzlies 93: Memphis falling apart.

Spurs 106, Hornets 92: Who are all these stupid people saying New Orleans should trade CP3?

Suns 101, Nugg Show 85: Denver must’ve really hit a funk after choking away that Laker game.

Rest of the scores here. Have a fantastic day.

Quite a momentous day in Austin as the city was pelted with upwards of a half-inch of snow. Schools were let out early, prep games this evening were postponed, and yours truly even received a work email that all of the top levels of our garages needed to be cleared post-haste, lest employees’ vehicle be stuck up there for days on end.

Ergo, due to the blizzardy conditions, I’ll be cooped up in my house tonight. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on the ole DVR and about 80 movies in my Netflix queue, but I’ll probably end up watching cartoons with my daughter, as the missus is most likely gonna take over the good TV for American Idol.

What else is on the boob toob this evening?

LOST on ABC – only the best show evar.

Winter Olympics on NBC and CNBC – someone on ice or possibly snow will steal the show

Corazón Salvaje on Univision – Hot Latina tricks will certainly make an appearance

Lakers @ Grizz – NBATV’s Fan Game of the Night (or something)

Frost/Nixon on HBO – yet another addition for my DVR

Finally, after the jump – definitive proof that Woody Hayes was a flaming pile of gheyshit. Read the rest of this entry »

Bullets 101, Bulls 95: Weird to think about, but Washington is 3-1 and Cleveland is 0-3 since the Cavs were robbed in the screwjob trade of the century. On one hand, you had the hapless Wiz Show, just trying to dump salary and losers of 17 of 19 (guesstimation), and on the other hand you had “beastly” Cleveland, winners of 13 in a row and seemingly in cruise control for winning the NBA title. Yet, Danny Ferry can’t leave well enough alone and totally decides to put the kibosh on their team chemistry. He should’ve been happy with being the best regular season team again, but alas.

Mavs 91, Pacers 82: The Mavs have won 4 in a row and lead the Southwest Division by 3.5 games. This team is scary good when they’re on. If the playoffs started today, however, they would face off in the first round against the Thunder. I seriously have no idea who I would root for in that situation.

Clip Show 98, Bobcats 94: Just a few days after raping the Cavs, Charlotte couldn’t do the same against the Staples Center’s secondary tenant.

Interesting stuff:

Free pancakes at IHOP today.

New Yankee Randy Winn and Canadien Steve Nash are besties

Some black dude got hate mail because he broke a white boy’s scoring record.

Have a great morning.

What a momentous conclusion to a hectic week. Tiger Woods came up to the podium and basically said, I’m sorry and don’t fucks with my fam. That’s pretty much it. And that’s all he needed to say, because that’s what he felt. Whether it was prepared or spontaneous, inside or outside, at a country club or in the ghetto – he was getting ripped to shreds no matter what. And that’s fine, because that’s the age we live in. You can get mad about it, shake your head, or feign indifference, but that’s the way coverage is gonna be so you might as well get to it. Sorry, if that hurts your feelings.

As far as me, I support Tiger, and I’m even willing to take up golf to show my support. In fact, I was kind of excited that the rumors of Michael Jordan attending Tiger’s press conference were going to be true. His Airness announcing a pair of Air Jordans for golf (that Tiger would be wearing) would’ve sealed the deal. I would be a golfing guy for life.

It’s a great night for TV if you are staying home and have HBO. The series premiere of The Ricky Gervais Show is at 8:00 American Heartland Time, followed by something called The Life & Times of Tim (NHOI) at 8:30 and Bill Maher’s season premiere at 9:00. If you don’t have HBO (/glares at CRM), you can catch the Winter Olympics on NBC or the Mavs at Magic on ESPN. If you don’t have a tv, then I don’t know what to tell you. I guess don’t pound too many daiquiris at happy hour (/glares at stigs).

Have a great weekend and try not to be jealous that tomorrow I’m probably going to the best barbeque in the history of Evarville. Don’t forget to tell a loved one how you feel. I mean that.

Clownie out.