A mighty and glorious HOOOOOOZAAAAAAHHHHH New York! What a day! It was a stroke of genius from Isiah Thomas the Knick organization to trade a bunch of white guys* and Ray Felton to Denver for the Great Carmelo Anthony, playoff warrior Chauncey Billups, prodigal son Renaldo Balkman and some other guys.
A sincere hat tip goes to Donnie Walsh and Mike D’Antoni. Donnie wheeled and dealed to get the Knicks cap space and white people while Mike D’Antoni made 4 nickles shine like 4 quarters. All of this made it possible for the fearless and intrepid owner, James Dolan, to navigate through shark infested waters to bring the Knicks it’s next great shining star.
It truly is a fair deal. The Knicks got a second superstar to go with Amare. Denver got more white people plus Ray Felton, who may be traded for even more white people! So sit back and enjoy New York as we watch the Knicks make a legit run at the 6th seed and a .500 record. The excitement is back!
*Wilson Chandler makes Allan Houston look like Tupac
Does that mean Danillo made David Lee look like Eminem? Or are we discounting white people? I think we should discount white people. They’re the worst.
In terms of commodities, white people trade at various levels. They break down as follows
1.Ecksteins – scrappy crowd pleasers with no real talent. They are mostly overvalued but there is always a return on investment.
2. Hanboroughs – real talent that is largely overvalued in some places (i.e college) but in reality is undervalued because of the unnecessary hype heaped on them from other white people. These white people actually bring a more diminished return because it is deemed they are not valuable enough but when packaged with an Epstein or placed an arena with inferior talent, they are then valued like a Bird.
3. A Bird – the real deal. Everyone knows it. Held on to like a Honus Wagner card. The Bird is also known to have similar value to such foreign currency as the Nash and the Nowitzski.
4. The Carlton – not a white guy but has all the appeal and likability of one. Other white people tend to “identify” with the Carlton and use them as an example of not being racist. The Carlton is very much overvalued but since their is an “intangible” value assed they tend to sell high.
In places like New York or Philly, the white guy is claimed to be diminished or disregarded in terms of trade but when push comes to shove, they are insanely overvalued. i.e – people who think trading Gallinari, Felton, Chandler and Timofey Mozfgov for Melo and Billups is a “mistake” or “foolish” because they “liked how this team played together”
Grant Hill is definitely a Carlton.
I think you’re onto something here Roman.
But I don’t think you can mix your sports – isn’t a white person in baseball a different segment than one in basketball?
They signify different things.
Stop snitchin
If we’re ranking white people, it has to go:
1. Ted Williams
2. Larry Bird
3. Carl Yastrzemski
4. Steve Nash
5. Will Smith
Hef, is that a ranking of deadest to least dead? If that’s the case, I’d have to swap Nash and Will Smith.
If we’re talking strictly a ranking of the most awesome white people period, it clearly goes like this:
1. Cliff Lee
2. Roy Halladay
3. Cole Hamels
4. Roy Oswalt
5. Brent Barry