Now that the NFL finally finished their silly little version of the playoffs where any team can win the whole thing regardless of talent (or lack thereof) we can officially start thinking about baseball everyday. All of them. From now on! Pitchers and catchers report in 6 days! 6!
Let’s take a tour through Red Sox country where you can go online and decide what the batting order should be for the 2011 World Series Champs (o/u on regular season wins set at 125.5). Here’s my lineup:
I leadoff with Carl Crawford who’s gonna steal 112 bases this year. I follow him with former MVP and all around good guy, Dustin Pedroia, who can move guys over but also hits for power and rarely strikes out. Best #2 batter in the league right now? A resounding yes.
We move onto the #3 batter which I selected as Kevin Youkilis. Some (59% according to the figures above) would put Crawford here but I disagree. Youk has the best OBP on the team and still hits for a high average. You want him on base so that Gonzalez can drive him in. Gonzalez will benefit from no longer playing at PETCO canyon and will hit 65 (steroid-free) HRs this season. This is the perfect player for th #4 hole.
At #5 we put David Ortiz who has averaged 30 HRs a year since he quit hanging out with noted bad influence and clubhouse cancer Manny Ramirez. Ortiz starts slow each year but is a better option than anyone else on the team and deserves the #5 spot.
Behind him, Jacoby Ellsbury, who’s just too damn good to put in the nine spot for speed reasons. Ellsbury might be wasted in this spot but it’s better than dropping him any lower…you know what, I just changed my mind. We’re gonna swap Ellsbury and Scutaro/Lowrie so we don’t have 4 lefties in a row. Plus, Ells might get slowed up by having a big fat slow guy running in front of him. Someone write this down in my brilliance journal.
At #7 we have the best #7 hitter in the history of baseball, JD Drew. When was the last time a team had a career .886 OPS guy hitting 7th? There’s a reason this team is going to win 135 games this year. And then I put Tek in over Salty because I felt like it.
You can create your own lineup at Boston.com. Share in our nation’s collective excitement. And if that’s not enough, you can take a 15 question quiz about the 2011 Red Sox! It’s like the Boston Globe was reading my diary!
I think you’re underestimating them. You should stick to writing about something else and save us from your anti-Red Sox bias.
Vegas just changed the o/u to 161.5 wins. I’m not sure which way to go. On the one hand, it’s obvious they’re never going to lose. On the other hand, what if there’s a rainout that they don’t make up because they have such a huge lead? Does that count as a push?
Was there not a Mexico trip for the Super Bowl this year? Did my invitation get lost in the mail? I’ll assume it did.
On a more important note, what will the Phillies rotation that will be striking out Red Sox in the World Series look like? Conventional wisdom says Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, Hamels, Joe Blanton/Kyle Kendrick/Some other shitty guy. Personally, I’d just start the fifth starter on opening day to make him feel better about himself. Then never let him pitch again.
I can’t wait for someone to throw a battery at Drew in the WS.
I find this entire post to be worthy of the Bleacher Report.
/breathes through mouth
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Canz Bawfustin win et all? Iz knows so!
/BR title