In what can only be described as a bold PR move, the Seattle Mariners are trying to hush rumors that they’re trying to shed a burdensome salary, paid to a barely average third basemen with absolutely no power to speak of.
The Seattle Mariners and third baseman Chone Figgins tried to quiet trade rumors during the team’s annual fanfest celebration Saturday.
Both Figgins and general manager Jack Zduriencik downplayed the possibility of a deal that would send the speedy, defensive standout to the Oakland Athletics. The Oakland Tribune , citing unnamed sources, first reported Friday the A’s interest in acquiring Figgins.
Zduriencik added, “Listen, Seattle’s a laidback kind of place. You can’t just hit them over the head with such great news that we could possibly get rid of $27.5M over the next 3 years for a player who is almost exactly league average in OBP, BA, and strikeout rate while being far below average in Slugging. The shock to their collective system could cause massive outbreaks in joy, smiling, and general hope.”
Figgins echoed the hush-hushiness:
“I’ve always said it’s a great thing to be wanted but I want to win here,” Figgins said. “I’ll always love playing here and like I said before this is where I want to be. Until they force me out of here this is where I’m going to be.”
“Until they trade my overpaid ass, I’m going to stay here. Guaranteed contracts are a bitch, ain’t they?”
Figgins then slapped a baby, but was unable to make it cry.
/doesn’t give a shit
//missed doing that
///nice write up
NHOH
Work out a trade for Eckstein. At least his whiteness will fit in with Seattle.
So is this place back or not?
I think one Hef article a week is perfect.
When did the Rays clinch!?
I don’t know what any of you guys is talking about. I haven’t had any problem accessing the site due to dns proble–
/transmission error
Contract the Mariners?
Listen Chone Figgins is a team player. He has intangibles. Not everything about Chone is in the numbers. He does the little things. He is a gamer. He is a sparkplug. Chone Figgins is scrappy. He plays the game the way it should be played. He has childlike enthusiasm. OPS SchmoPS, Chone Figgins is there when it counts.
/Fuck Chone Figgins
Figgins is just one of many colossal fuckup by the Mariners over the last 10 years. I can’t blame Figgins, if someone wanted to pay me 4 times what I’m worth I’d take them up on it. Hell I’d even more to Arizona for it.