Break’d News: Former NFL All-Everything, Lawrence Taylor, is now 90% of the way to a guilty conviction via his latest misunderstanding with an underage hooker. The Hall of Famerapist (Tobias Fünke’d) was sacked with 6 counts of the stuff. More of the lurid details can be found at the much revered New York Post.
Now for a bit of related housekeeping…. Sadly, in what amounts to nothing more than a diversionary tactic by Lawrence Taylor’s PR flack, Mr. Roman W. Helmet, the defense team has mounted a transparent effort implying that LeBron James to the Knickerbockers of New York is all but a done deal. We apologize for allowing Mr. Helmet to utilize the reputable news source that is Major League Jerk. We would like to let you, the newly returned reader, know that in no way do their actions reflect the editorial goals of this organization. It should be noted that Roman will be suspended until his next post.
We appreciate your continued readership and respect.
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The Editorial Staff of Major League Jerk Enterprises, LLC
@TheEditorialStaffofMajorLeagueJerkEnterprisesLLC
dude’s eyes are beyond bloodshot. i thought he was clean ‘n sobery.
You would think LT’s people would advise him not to wear that shirt.
if i was his lawyer, i would use the chewbacca defense all day long.
liking the changes ’round these parts.
must pro athletes balloon once they retire. taylor’s body seems to be suffering from that same disease as benjamin buttons.
Well, if LT goes to the pen, at least he’ll put his Dancing with the Stars experience to good use. Only question will be will he be the one that leads