This just in to the MLJ newsroom, LeBron James has made his decision. After long thought and deliberation he decided that he is going to go to New York and play for the Knicks. His desire to be a Global Icon and his hatred for rivers that spontaneously light on fire made this decision easier. Don’t believe us? Well, let’s just say our source is very close to the family.
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I know what you’re up to, Roman. Friggin’ smokescreen is what this is.
gay
I heard this news last night as I was parking my Edsel on the lower slope of Venus. A small Venutian with eleven heads filled in the details.
Here’s the deal:
Mike Bloomberg will be transfered to a BP station in Queens to pump gas under the auspices of Achmed.
The Knicks will loan Lady Gaga to the Cleveland Museum Antiquites department.
Three planets in the solar system will be put in escrow for the camping and beach crowd in Akron.
LeBron will promise to wear # 28.4 million to assure all New Yorkers that he really is ours.
LeBron’s mom will break it off with Delonte and get a shot at A-Rod.
Mike Brin will retire to a Jesuit elderly facility in Estonia.
Spike Lee will make a blockbuster movie on the Prison Tapes of Mumia -starring Lebron.
Tiny Fey will sing the National Anthem at Lebron’s first game disguised as Harriet Tubman.
Every child born in the tri-state area for the next four years will be called: You guessed it !
GO KNICKS !
David Wright fucks kids. And men.
If LeBron goes to the Knicks (which should happen the same time the Yankees call me to play left field or the Cleveland Browns actually become Super Bowl contenders, will he follow through with his plan to stop wearing #23 so the Association can permanently retire it for His Airness and wear #6? If that happens, Trent Tucker fans will be up in arms …. all 12 of them.
Switching to #6 is another story. Maybe LeBron needs to listen to the story of William Felton Russell. The guy who won 11 rings in 13 seasons with the Celtics? There’s a # that should be retired Association-wide.