Given the climate of drug gang violence down in the Mexiko, coupled with the guest list for the Casa de Hef’s Law de Father-In, this road trip is shaping up to be the basis for a very nice, if completely overdone, movie de la week. CRM, since you’ll be all snuggly tucked in every night by Marie Antoinette, we hereby bequeath to you the rights to our story. Also, you will have to raise Fetch as your own.
Our collection of rag-tag travelers, who will most likely end up kidnapped during a roadside attack at The La Vaca, will obviously band together, overcome some shit, see Hef fragged by one of our own troops, overcome some more shit, ultimately escaping our semi-assured demise, much like the passengers aboard the Hindenburg so victoriously did back in 1956.
The La Vaca
Our Completely and Totally Fucked Out Clichéd List of Characters:
Hef: a bookish Jew, constantly whining about the desert heat.
Spence: the former football star.
Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker: suave, dashing, international man of intrigue…yet ironically from ohio.
Tuck Pendleton: a gay magician, whose lighter fluid up his sleeves trick will fail every time until the pinnacle of the story, getting us out of an almost fatal jam (again, much like the survivors of the Hindenburg).
Roman: a gruff, portly fellow who’s a cross between the cast of Jersey Shore and The Sopranos.
Clown: full-blooded mexicun guy, complete with Mayan tattoos, who, inexplicably, is of no help because he speaks exactly zero mexiqin.
Little Buddha: the army ranger who teaches us to work together to fight off the drug gangs that quite likely will take us hostage. This is the character who completely guarantees that some bad shit will happen to our Winnebago.
Who do you think should play these characters?
After the Jump…
MLJ: The Movie
[Note: Special Thanks to Adam Carolla for the term "fucked out".]
I was thinking Keanu Reeves for Spencer.
point break or the replacements?
Bill & Ted’s
Nah, Braylon’s dream is to become and actor, so why not play the role of Spence? Although when he inevitably drops out, CRM can call Keanu.
I always thought that Vincent Pastore would be a better roman
one of my best friends looks, acts and sounds EXACTLY like keanu from that movie. it’s really, really scary.
That. Is. AWESOME.
“You mean MLJ is gonna pay spence to learn how to surf?”
The La Vaca is awesome. We should eat there 3 times a day.
comment in chrome
Yup still underlined.
Can’t wait til CRM sends me a framed copy of that picture for the next MLJ Christmas gift exchange.
replacements?
Now you’re just lying.
Don’t forget Pollo Lucas
testes 1…2…
I should be played by Gob. No will arnett. Gob. Maybe sasha baron cohen.
Seriously I am willing to contribute to a bribery/bail slush fund.
…and we need Tampa to remind us how white and unhip we are.
Has anyone ever urban dictionaried their own first name?
Mine is Nate.
/looks up name
/slams fist on desk in shame
a gay magician,
isn’t this an oxymoron?
You’re a sick fuck, Nate.
Roman always reminded me of Vito.
/He once invited me to a Mets game after I saw him blowing the MLJ security guard at the compound.
mine is extremely flattering.
i can’t believe i didn’t do that earlier. i may have mine put on my gravestone.
/except that none of it is true.
//but still, anthony is a great fucking name.
wopwopwopwopwopwopwopwop
GOB Bluth was too easy of a pick for the role of Gay Magician. Doug Henning is much, much better.
/”better” is polish for “gay”, right?
Is this gonna be a “Lifetime Movie de la Week”? If so, which part is Meredith Baxter-Birney playing?
The forgotten housewife: Gonzo.