Us can’t wait until college football season starts again even though the NCAA has ignored our repeated requests for a 128 team playoff, so we decided to take an early look at the top of the rankings for next year.
1. Notre Dame: Is there any doubt? They have their own network! They’re on national TV more than any oer thteam in the country. You’re going to see them every weekend all year and you know what that means. Eyeballs!
2. Florida: Even though Tim Tebow got aborted we still like the Gators to be in the mix because of their beautiful co-eds and warm weather.
3. USC: What’s changed? With Pete Carroll in charge, this team is guaranteed to be in the mix.
4. North Carolina: Sure they weren’t good at all last year, but when we look at stats, we look at returning starters. And UNC has a lot of returning starters.
5. Washington State: We had to be controversial somewhere, so we decided to go way off the grid. I couldn’t name a single player on their team, but hey, they play ND so they have to be at least decent, right? Hey, these aren’t our rankings, we’re just asking questions here.
She’s givng me “fuck me” eyes