Good middle of the afternoon everybody! The reason why this post is so early, besides me not giving a shit, is that the Olympic Hockey Gold Medal Finals is about to start. In this match up, the big bad Canadians put a bunch of overpriced, over-hyped millionaires on it’s own ice to play our U.S. team made up of gritty, gutty underdog millionaires in a winner takes all battle that will be forgotten south of the Canadian border by Tuesday evening. Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning. I am in no mood for cheer and goodwill. I have been dealing with a week in which my priorities in life have changed. I must now be more diligent and on top of things at work. In doing that I must be less diligent and on the bottom of things at MLJ. If I don’t do the former, I am fairly certain I will have plenty of time to be diligent and on top of things at the latter. I would get in to more but truthfully it is boring to others not involved. Let’s just say we had a regime change at the Cracker Factory and what was once acceptable and expected is no longer acceptable and expected. I was once a magnanimous leader to my people. Now I will be telling them that they can’t wear headphones as they work. So is life.

In my sporting world, nothing much is going on. I, like about a third of America, has the Olympics on in the background of life but if you ask me for a favorite moment or event, I couldn’t tell you. Really, it’s just on. I like the curling but it is the same thing over and over. I can’t wait for baseball to start. The stories in New York yesterday all revolved around Ike Davis and his being the next Mets first baseman. My gut is he will be the Met First Baseman by the end of May or whatever date pushes his arbitration years back a season. If he is a monster this spring, they will have no choice. The amount of stories about Ike on one date tells me the Mets PR is putting it out there to let us know Ike is not just the future but close to being the present. It certainly makes for a better spring story than Daniel Murphy and Mike Jacobs “battling” it our for the starting job. Read the rest of this entry »

HOW IS THAT A FOUL??? COME ON REF!

USA 6 – Finland 1. We did it, you guys! I think this win over our heated rival puts us in the gold medal game against Canada. It should be thrilling.

/didn’t watch a single second

//nods at hockey hating brethren

Other stuff happened last night, notably in the NBA. Also stuff happened in minor league fag hoops.

I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow morning on a 7:45 AM flight. It’s for work, but it gets me the F out of Cleveland. Currently, there’s an ass pile of snow on the ground with more on the way. If this alters my flight plans at all or, in a worst case scenario, I get Dallas’d — I’m going to kick a kid.

You see, my agitation level is running higher than normal these days. This winter weather is destroying my will to live. It needs to get warm really soon.

/glares at Hef

OK. Enough fun for me. Enjoy your morning.

Oh yeah, quick question for the audience: Better Cusack joint — High Fidelity or Being John Malkovich? Discuss.

Hi. How are things? I hope you had a terrific Friday like I did. Earlier this morning I got into a disagreement with this stupid bee-otch who works for the same company as me. She’s not exactly a co-worker because I’ve never actually met her personally, but I still have to deal with her bullshit every day via phone and email and stuff. She’s one of those older ladies who works from home and probably makes a good deal of money while simultaneously babysitting her grandchildren who are wreaking havoc in the background of all of her phone calls. She’s also one of those co-workers who always has questions but never has answers. Fuck them bitches. Why do they even work here? Anyway, earlier this morning she called me on my cell phone and tried pawning some work off on me that’s technically her job. I told her I’d look into it as soon as I had some time. An hour later, I hadn’t gotten to it yet so she called my boss. What a little bitch: escalating to my boss on an issue she should be handling herself? Anyway, that led to the following conversation between my boss and her:

My boss: “Wait, why are you coming to [Happy] for that?”
Her: “I called him this morning and he said he could help me.”
My boss: “Yeah but isn’t this something that you should be handling?”
Her: “Well yeah but he knows more about that system than I do.”
My boss: “Then I suggest you learn the system, or wait until he has some free time.”

Boom. Roasted.

Then I spent the rest of my morning updating my twitter. Stupid bitch.

Let’s see, what did we learn today? Well for one, we learned that there’s no discernible difference between fake Ozzie and real Ozzie. We also learned that the only thing better than having an outdated and uncomfortable ballpark located in the middle of a racist metropolitan area like Boston is building a 2nd one at twice the price for the transplanted racists of Fort Myers. Wait is that really what that post was about? Upon further review…yes it was. Seems silly. And lastly, we learned something about the Cavs again.

As I type this, USA is leading Finland 6-0 in men’s ice hockey with the 2nd period just coming to a close. Did someone turn the offsides off? Some more television rec’s after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

Nothing To Click Here is the collective effort of the entire MLJ staff. These are just some of the things we come across in our daily reading. The links contained within are either extremely well-written, thought-provoking, funny, weird or simply awesome. If you have any suggestions please send them here.

Todays gif: an oldie but a goodie.

Senator Dikembe Mutombo Blocks Record Amount Of Legislation. (The Onion)

Canadian women’s hockey celebrate victory with booze at center ice? (With Leather)

John Canzano grills Chip Kelly over discipline double standard.  (College Game Balls)

Top 10 Reasons Nike is standing behind Tiger.  (Five Tool Tool)

Lance Stephenson to stay another year at Cincy?  (Obsessed with Sports)

The official song of the John Wall dance. (Intentional Foul)

“Cavalcade of Stars” continues to make news. (Mondesi’s House)

Purdue’s #1 seed now up for grabs.  (NQTC)

The MLJ Video of the Day features babies! That’s adorable.

After the jump, something about the Oscars…we’re really mailing it in today. Read the rest of this entry »

And by “awhile” I obviously mean “sit against every team that’s not Orlando or the Lakers?”

This would be great, and every Cavs fan would REALLY appreciate it.

And while we’re asking for players to sit, can Antawn Jamison sit too?  At least until he’s had an actual PRACTICE?  Last night, when Shaq and Jamison were getting their burn, the Cavs looked straight up pedestrian, and yet, the instant the high energy, high athleticism, high effort bigs in Anderson Varejao and JJ Hickson came in, the Cavs went from plodding to devastating, outscoring the Celtics by a large, large margin in the 2nd half.

I bring this up, not as a Cavs fan, but as a basketball fan in general.  When LeBron James has adequate spacing and athletic big men cutting to the basket with two spot up shooters just waiting on the wings, the Cavs are a true joy to watch on both ends.  LeBron gets to do his thing and becomes hell on wheels, either setting up Hickson for an oop, hitting a driving Varejao for who’s developed a nice offensive game around the basket, setting up a 3 or getting to the rim himself.  It’s just great.

And none of that happens when Shaq is on the floor. Read the rest of this entry »

The Red Sox are getting a new Spring Training facility down in Florida (thanks tax payers!) and they’ve decided to build a replica of Fenway, the greatest ballpark in the history of evar.  The new facility will combine the grace and beauty of Fenway with the beauty (???) of Florida.

The Green Monster will have a manual scoreboard and seats atop the wall, which will be 310 feet from home plate down the line. The right-field fence will be 302 feet from the plate, and the bullpens will be beyond the fence in right-center, just as they are at Fenway.

“I like the Fenway similarity. The charm of Fenway Park. The Florida look and feel. Not a duplicate of Fenway Park with heavy red brick and New England style. It’s meant to be different and lighter and airier and breezier and more Florida-like.”

Baseball can’t get here soon enough.

It’s now time to play everyone’s favorite game that I just made up 30 seconds ago called ”guess who wrote it, the real Ozzie Guillen or the fake one”. The rules are simple: I provide you with 10 quotes that come from either Ozzie Guillen’s real twitter or Ozzie Guillen’s fake twitter, and without looking it up, you have to guess which one it came from. Sound fun? No? Well [bleep] you, we’re playing anyway. Nobody tell me we no play ’da game. I make the lineup. Okay you ready? Here goes:

1. Dr drew I like you work very very patient guy I wish I have that abilities u have.
2. Thanks you all for the messenges. Some of they are good and some bad but I like any body who write me
3. Iam tired from bad very bad golf
4. Kenny tell me he no like a tweeter but i no tell any body they can have a tweeter as long as they no talk to much and ditract the team
5. the fan say we need damen but i say thats shit. he a great player but nobody tell me one player make all the diffrent.
6. going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job ?
7. Thanks a lot for the support i like it the twitter…..
8. right now i say Mark is my opening day and i say that no respect to peavy but right now this kid by my starter since 04
9. Bed and bath I love this places
10. Poeple no tell me about jim thome. this kid he play good for me for 4 year. But i make the lineup. Nobody tell me who play dh for me

Answers after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

You know why today was slow, I know why today is slow so there’s really no need for you to complain and there’s really no need for me to act exasperated.  I imagine you, like myself, are getting a ton of work done at…work because you don’t have distractions like sports or clever writing about sports or anything we do which is sort of clever and is sports related for the most part.

As I mentioned in my morning rant I’m not watching anything on TV so I’m disconnected from the National mood.  Everything I care about these days is local and personal and pre-internetian.  I can’t wait for baseball to start so all of that changes back.  The Pre-Internet days were scary ones.  Days filled with eye contact and human interaction and I for one don’t like it. Read the rest of this entry »