Welcome to Fraud City

Holy Moses smell the roses, do we have a lot of frauds to get to after a wild, ZANY week of college football ac-teeeee-yon, but this week, we’re going to do things a little differently.  This week, we’re going to get to the fraudiest frauds FIRST, and then go from there.

So, without further adieu, YOUR mayors of Fraud City…human poll voters.

I see yourself asking, “wait, huh?” but if you saw the human voters polls, and saw that USC was ranked ABOVE Oregon, then it’d all make perfect sense.  Hang on a second, lets just let this marinate for a second.

Oregon and USC have the same 7-2 record.  Oregon has a superior Pac-10 record by a game, and controls their own destiny on the road to Pac-10 champs.  Oh, and there’s that little issue of Oregon ABSOLUTELY WAXING USC a mere two weeks ago.  Surely, pollsters wouldn’t be that dumb, right?  WRONG.

This is absolutely indefensible.  There isn’t a single fucking metric in the entire fucking world that would convince ANYONE that USC is a better team than Oregon at this point.  As if the Duck Fuck two weeks ago didn’t prove it enough, every other shred of evidence would put USC behind, but then again, USC was SOOOOOO convincing in their 14-9 win over an exceedingly mediocre (Vontaze Burfict aside) Arizona State team where they had their worst offensive performance in five fucking years.

There is no excuse, pollsters.  None.  If you were so stupid that you voted USC over Oregon, you don’t deserve to vote.  Period.  It doesn’t matter that Oregon just lost, and that’s the way the polls operate, we just saw, TWO WEEKS AGO, that Oregon is not only better than USC, but it’s really not even close.

More frauds after the jump.The biggest losers on the field, Saturday?  Iowa.

Iowa woke up Saturday with national title hopes, a clear path to at least a share of the Big 10 crown and an unblemished record.  The went to sleep with none of those things still intact, and even worse, lost their starting QB heading into their most important game on the remaining schedule.  Would anyone be surprised if Iowa failed to get 100 total yards against the conference’s best defense with a freshman, untested QB in his first start?  I wouldn’t.

But this isn’t really unexpected if you watched Iowa all year.  Iowa hasn’t looked impressive at all against any team, save Penn State.  Sure, that was an impressive victory, but when you need two blocked FG’s to beat Northern Iowa, and scrape by the bottom dwellers of the Big 10, then this kind of performance is more trend than anomaly.  I’m not surprised that Iowa lost to an above average Northwestern team, I’m surprised that they hadn’t lost sooner.

Another team that’s clearly passed into Fraud City Limits?  Notre Dame. I really don’t know what’s making people think Jimmy Clausen is a good QB.  I guess getting a ton of padded yards after watching the truly legit Golden Tate run for a trillion YAC’s, is cool and all, but that doesn’t mean Clausen is worth a shit.  That safety he took in the 4th Quarter was inexcusable, even if his LT got beat like a drum.  ND didn’t have a top 25 resume to begin with and they definitely don’t have one now.  They’re just not a good team, plain and simple, and no amount of fanbase kool-aid drinkin’ is gonna change that.

USC are frauds, but I think we’ve covered that above.

Michigan lost to Purdue, which I would get into more if the mere thought of Purdue didn’t make me foam at the mouth.

LSU are frauds, but they still get the poll’s benefit of the doubt because the only teams they’ve lost to are Alabama and Florida.  Don’t mistake this for competence though…LSU is not very good.

Penn State are obviously frauds, but if you have been listening to what I’ve been saying ALL YEAR, you wouldn’t have been surprised.

Georgia Tech are also frauds, but they run a cool offense and their coach is like a less swashbuckling, land based Mike Leach, which is badass.

So that leaves us with three teams left to cover in a Fraudtastic week of Fraudery.

Cincinnati is not the 4th best team in the country, no matter what metric you’re going to use.  They’re not the best team in Ohio, as OSU would DEFINITELY rape them by at least two scores.  Their uniforms are hideous and Cincy is a fucking infected wart on the ass of Ohio, giving good Ohioans a bad name.

And yet, here they are, sitting 4th in the country, despite barely getting by a shitty UCONN team at home.  This is a Big East team.  There are no good Big East teams.  Their conference affiliation alone should relegate them into Bolivian when it comes to big time football talk.

Now to the big boys of the city of Frauds this year, Choke-lahoma.

You know what would be REALLY great?  If someone started fucking criticizing Oklahoma.  OU is 5-4 on the season, look like absolute crap, and just lost to a Nebraska team where offense is optional, much like pants in the 096 household.  Where to begin?

The OL?  Terrible…just…I mean, there isn’t a single excuse for this unit.  Every member is highly recruited, and OU has a history of producing high quality offensive linemen, and sure, the success and longevity of last year’s unit probably didn’t leave a lot of room for PT opportunities, but still.  Penalties AND suck?  That’s a BAD combination.

The QB?  Sure, Bradford might have been an improvement, but this is OU we’re talking about.  For a QB, this system is as plug’n'play as it gets, and it’s not like Landry Jones is THAT bad, but still 5 INT’s?  Yikes.  And when the OL is this bad, it’s not like Bradford, who needs a fucking calendar year to go through his progressions, would be doing any better.

The defense?  Not great to begin with, but they deserve better than this.

Special teams?  AWFUL.

Heading into this year, I gave Oklahoma the benefit of the doubt, even though I hate them as much as any other non-Michigan team in the country.  The fact that there isn’t much criticism coming Stoops’ and Oklahoma’s way kinda pisses me off.  Ohio State loses one game to Purdue and it’s time to fire Tressel.  Oklahoma loses every meaningful game for as long as I can remember and they don’t have a single bad word about em.  It’s a fucking double standard and it pisses me off.

And with that out of the way, the only team left is Oregon.

Sigh…how I wanted you to rawk, Oregon.  And yes, while you still have the Pac-10 in your webbed toe’d grasp, losing to Stanford is rough.  I’d harp on it more, but I’m more pissed about the voters shafting you than I am about losing to a fiesty Stanford team.  It’s not like this loss hurt you that much…sure the NC is prolly out of the picture, but it never really was in the picture to begin with.  Start getting prepped for the Rose Bowl, Ducks, but keep your shit clean…don’t blow it again and let USC back into the fold.