The NFL playoffs are a numbers game. You only have room for so many teams. Starting next week we will also include division records and head to head matchups which become key down the stretch. Here is our weekly playoff report.
If the playoffs ended today, the following teams would be in:
NFC
1. New Orleans (8-0)
2. Vikings (7-1)
3. Cowboys (6-2)
4. Cardinals (5-3)
Wild Card: Eagles (5-3)
Wild Card: Falcons (5-3)
On the bubble: Giants (5-4), Bears (4-4), Packers (4-4)
Locks:
- The Saints, despite looking lousy in the first half yesterday, still won and still maintain a 3 game lead over the Falcons for the division. Doesn’t matter what key you try in this door because this team is a lock.
- Amazingly, the Vikings actually picked up even more ground on the division without playing a single down this weekend. Hey, remember when SI picked the NFC North to have three representatives (including the Bears in the Super Bowl) and we all shared that glorious laugh? Me too. Me too.
- It’s time to return the Cardinals to the lock category. The combination of the dominant win over the Bears in Chicago with the loss of the Niners at home versus the 2-6 Titans means Arizona is almost guaranteed a playoff spot. Oh, and their next three games are against Seattle, St. Louis and Tennessee. Yeah, they’re a lock.
Remaining NFC spots:
Not that many shakeups this week, simply a slight rearranging of the playoff positions. The Cowboys grabbed control of the division spot, the Falcons moved back into the Wild Card and the Giants dropped out of the postseason.
If we call those 3 division spots locks then that leaves 6 teams to fight for 3 spots:
- The Cowboys have a tough schedule remaining. They only have 3 games remaining against losing teams including 2 against the Redskins and 1 against the Raiders. Still, it’s better to better to have the division lead than to play from behind.
- The Eagles have an even tougher schedule than Dallas. They have only 2 games remaining against weak opponents including one against the Redskins and one against the Niners.
- Likewise the Giants have only one gimme game left on their schedule against the Redskins and then another sorta easy game against the suddenly improved Panthers. If I had to guess, I would say the Eagles and Cowboys hold onto their spots and the Giants stay out of the playoffs. Though that depends on how they prepare during their bye week this week.
- The Falcons have a much easier schedule than most of the other teams in playoff contention and the fact that they currently have a playoff spot has to make them feel good. They still have two games remaining against the Bucs, 1 against the Bills and 1 against the Panthers so they should be able to pad their record a bit.
- Green Bay and Chicago suck and are both going to miss the playoffs. Facts are facts.
AFC
1. Colts (8-0)
2. Broncos (6-2)
3. Bengals (6-2)
4. Patriots (6-2) [Ed. Note: w00t!]
Wild Card: Steelers (6-2)
Wild Card: Chargers (5-3)
On the bubble: Texans (5-4), Ravens (4-4), Jaguars (4-4), Jets (4-4)
Locks:
- The Colts got lucky when the Texans missed a FG at the end of the game on Sunday but they’re still undefeated and they’re still a fucking lock to make the playoffs. Too bad they’re going to lose the Pats next week.
- The Pats are going to finish the year 13-3 and fight for a bye in the first round of the playoffs. Winning the division isn’t enough this year as there’s a lot of good teams in the AFC…again. In case you missed it in the last paragraph, the Pats are going to beat the Colts this week bringing them to within a game of first place.
Remaining AFC spots: 8 teams fighting for 4 spots.
- I don’t know what to say about the Bengals. Obviously they dominated the Ravens this week and I like the Ravens despite their 4 losses (2 of which were fluke losses) so I guess I now am at least a little impressed with the Bangs insomuch as I think they’ll probably make the playoffs. Still not a lock for the division though with the Steelers now tied with them after their Monday night win over the Broncos.
- The Chargers got a big win against the Ginas this week and are now officially a playoff contender and are only a game back of the Broncos who lost on Monday. What does this mean? Who fucking knows anymore.
- Houston had a shot against Indy but lost and now their odds are diminished. They need to go 5-2 the rest of the way for a shot at the playoffs which is possible if they only lose their remaining games to the Pats and Colts.
- The Ravens are going to be the best team to not make the playoffs which surprisingly isn’t a real award. They don’t even hand out a trophy. Assholes.
- The Jags won their easy game against the Chiefs this week but without the victory two weeks ago against the Titans, this week was meaningless. If they were 5-3 I’d say they had a shot at the playoffs but they’re not and they suck so they’re not making shit.
- Speaking about sucking major balls, the Jets had a bye week this week and didn’t have the opportunity to lose but they get a shot this week at home against the mediocre and disappointing Jags.
This week’s “playoff shakeup game of the awesome”: Bucs 38, Packers 28. Had they not lost to the winless Bucs in Tampa, the Packers would be in the mix for the final Wild Card spot, tied with the Falcons and ahead of the Giants. Instead, they are now in the big loser column and have a tough remaining schedule. If we’re lucky we can blame it on Brett Favre.
Honorable Mention: Chargers with the last minute TD to defeat the Giants 21-20 or the Cowboys getting help from the refs to beat the Eagles 20-16.
Looking ahead: Games with playoff implications this week. Lots of them this week.
Patriots/Colts
Bengals/Steelers
Eagles/Chargers
Cowboys/Packers
Bye Week Teams: New York Giants, Houston
Agreed.
It means the Broncos aren’t making the playoffs.
Niners still have a shot dammit! They must beat the Bears Thursday, and count on the Cardinals to lose a bunch of games they should win, like they did against Carolina a few weeks ago.
Atlanta/Giants in 2 weeks is FUCKING HUGE for playoff implications. Of course I have to depend on two imps calling the plays and deciding little things like Brandon Jacobs and his 6 yards a carry needs to be on the bench to throw the ball some more up by 3 or Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyiora should spend the 3 quarter on the bench while Chris Canty and his torn calf and Rocky Bernard get significant playing time.
/FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK
Watching that game I was thinking I haven’t heard Chris Canty’s name once.
And just for shits and giggles. Looking at the last 7 games for the Giants…It is entirely possible for them to go 5-2 and make the playoffs at 10-6. I can’t count on shit anymore since, well, they have been shit BUT They have Atlanta, Dallas, Philly and Carolina at home. Denver in Thanksgiving night Redskins in Washington Monday night and the Vikings in Minny the last game of the season.
It’s not the easiest schedule in the world but having Atlanta, Philly and Dallas in Giants stadium is big and having Minnesota with Favre on the bench after a series is a nice thought as well.
/glass half full’d
The Giants have a tough fucking schedule remaining.
Don’t trip Roman, once that Defense gets back to pre-season form the Giants will start rolling again.
Yes they do but not impossible. Atlanta, Denver, Washington and Carolina are beatable teams. The Vikings on the last game can be a reversal of last year’s game where the Giants sat everyone with Minny looking for a playoff berth. Anything goes with Dallas and Philly. They could easily go 2-5 as the could go 5-2 but it is not out of the realm of possibility. Especially playing against playoff teams they do have a chance to control their own destiny.
Roman, is that you? This Roman is entirely too optimistic.
I can’t wait for this game. Going to this game, combined with the fact that I will be out of town and not able to go to the KU – mu game, and I have a will have much to be thankful for while eating turkey.
needs more browns.
oh sorry, i thought this was the first overall pick playoff post.
We sure got a good glimpse of Denver’s limitations last night huh?
/Kyle Orton’d
Never heard of him. Actually, I thought he played decent considering we couldn’t pick up a blitz at all.
Roman, let’s say the Giants go 10-6. Well the Eagles only have to win 10 games too because of the tiebreaker. You guys probably need to go 6-1 the rest of the way because the Falcons have such an easy schedule.
i agree with this.
/only saw the 1st half
actually, the giants have the tiebreaker because the giants play in NYC and get the benefit of the doubt because they play in such a tough media market.
/sparty’d
We will have the tiebreaker over the Falcons if we beat them..and I disagree with the Easy schedule assessment they have the Giants, NO, Philly and teh Jets in Giant Stadium in December,,,They aren’t running the board
Didn’t get much better. Moreno has a long way to go as a pass blocker.
Also the Giants have Philly again. If the Giants win they have to go to the tiebreakers which is first Conference record and then common opponent. The Giants are 3-3 and Philly is 4-2. That can change int eh next 7 weeks. Also Philly and NY can both get Wild Cards. Once again, I have an issue with the Atlanta easy schedule thing. They haven’t been a lights out team.
I’m not saying he played bad pre se, just that he can’t beat a good defense. The pick 6 in the first half was pretty brutal, although it was a nice play by the safety.
GAWD…he couldn’t beat the steelers defense. what a fucking bum.
/loaded with sarcasm, just so you know
I think he can beat good defenses, just not blitzing defenses. Their blocking scheme has been horrible these last 2 games. Couldn’t stop the blitz and there was no run blocking.
The pick-6 was just unfortunate. Moreneo got bumped by the nose tackle and that forced Orton to have to pump it before actually throwing it. Gave the safety time to read the play and make a break.
That was a great play by the nose tackle, but Orton needs to hold on to it once the play got disrupted.
I think we are limited with Orton, teams don’t respect him throwing down the field and will continue to key on the running game. WR bubble screens only work so many times. Next week is big, it’s the type of game the chockers of the last two years would drop. Need to find 4 more wins on the schedule to have a shot at the playoffs.
I think if he holds it he gets sacked. He just needs to make an accurate throw. Teams don’t respect him to throw it downfield because we never do. Sooner or later McD needs to let him air one out just to keep defenses honest.
Next week is big and the week after against SD is huge.
i ain’t TBL, you fucking fag.
Speaking of… I notive Miz has been fucking hammering TBL lately. Pretty good stuff.
dear lord you can’t take a joke can you?
btw…you said it about kenny phillips or in an MLB MVP discussion or something.
go catch ham aids.
/definitely not about phillips