I don’t know about the rest of you, but ever since I got married I’ve always celebrated two Thanksgivings: one with my family, one with my wife’s. But this is the first Thanksgiving ever where we had both Thanksgivings on the same day and right now I’m in between rounds so I thought I’d partake in my annual post-meal family-ignoring hour.
Dinner/Lunch 1 was awesome. My brother, sister, their significant others and kids came over while my wife and I cooked. Yes, your favorite internet personality not only knows how to cook a turkey but is also adept at making an awesome dish of sweet potatoes and fresh cranberry sauce. Boom.
Here’s a tip for your turkey that might be too late but you’re welcome to use it next year: that slow roasting five hour cook time is bullshit and will only dry out your bird. Instead, cook the turkey at a really high temp for a half hour and then lower the temp for the rest. My 14 pound turkey was cooked at 500 degrees for half an hour and then lowered to 350 for 2 1/2 more hours. It was moist but the outside was crispy and it was tasty as fuck. I’m going to enjoy some good eats for the next week.
Oh, and we also got a new board game to play with the family called Funglish. It’s a ton of fun especially if you’re in a room filled with a ton of people you don’t hate. Or if you do hate them it’s a fun way to passively aggressively punish them by calling out the wrong answer on purpose. Either way it gets the Hef seal of approval. Along that line of thought I thought I’d give you my top 5 board games requiring more than 2 people. I present that caveat because what’s better than chess right? Right? You fuckers know what I’m talking about.
5. Settlers of Cattan: Yes I know this makes me a nerd. Fuck off already.
4. Monopoly: Old, traditional, a real classic. Ain’t nothing quite like bankrupting your father and then kicking his ass out on the streets because he can’t pay his rent. How’s that for irony, dad!*
3. Scattegories: This is a game of bullshitting and arguing and I like that. Yes, I realize that if the subject is “Headgear” and the letter is S and I put sunglasses as my answer that it isn’t necessarily true. But arguing that because you rest your sunglasses on your head when you’re not wearing them constitutes headgear and convincing other people to give you the point is part of the fun.
2. Catchphrase: But only the electronic version because it totally speeds up the game and the level of competition. It also helps if I’m on the same team as my sister who can read my mind. I like winning.
1. Risk: I love this game because I’d one day like to take over the world and get rid of religion and morons (sorry, mrejr). Plus I know how to take over the world without relying on Australia which everyone knows is unrealistic.
*The comments provided by the author do not provide insight into his childhood and should not be misconstrued as evidence of his poor upbringing. That being said, fuck you dad.
trivial pursuit is a man’s game. probably why it isn’t on your list.
/hey at least you spailed my name write
Can’t believe I forgot about Trivial Pursuit. That’s a great game.
but you were correct about chess. chess is my favorite game.
I’ve been doing the double thanksgiving day dinner for 7 years now, fucking hate
ithaving to go over to her parents. Love your taste of board games, Settlers should be higher. My favorite part of the scattegories is doing bull shit double words like sunny sporty sunglasses and arguing like a mother. Everyone hates playing with me.Settlers is low because it’s not as well known and people are less willing to play it but you’re right, it could be the best game ever.
Board games are gay
Your mom is gay.
The giants are gay. /go broncos
That’s unpossible!
/The Giants can blow an entire school bus full of Kindergarten students and not be a vile as they are tonight
Texas is gay too.
a.) i’ve done 4 thanksgivings in one day due to the inlaws and steps. since i got divorced, i’ve spent exactly 0 holidays with any of them. i cook for friends. it’s aaaawwwwesome.
b.) “My 14 pound turkey” Pussy bird. My cock weighs at least that.
3.) “new board game to play with the family called Funglish” Nerds… Screw Your Neighbor using Scotch as the bets is way more fun and less Englishy.
4.) You love Chris Kattan? Fag.