The MLJ Not So Secret Santa Bonanza: What Happy Gave Roman

I understand we haven’t gotten to December yet but I have already received my Secret Santa gift from Happy. Well, I guess it isn’t so secret considering we all knew who we got before hand. Rex put all of our names in a magical machine of some sort and we were all matched up. In fact, he wrote a post about it. So we are all up to date here is who has who:

From the official Name Drawing web site of Major League Jerk:

sharpy BUYS FOR roman.

crm BUYS FOR hef.

nickp BUYS FOR stigs.

clown BUYS FOR gonzo.

spence BUYS FOR rex.

rex BUYS FOR crm.

hef BUYS FOR sharpy.

stigs BUYS FOR spence.

gonzo BUYS FOR clown.

roman BUYS FOR nickp

So Happy had his package UPS’d to my house. I was not here when the package arrived, my wife was. The Package was addressed to Roman WarHelmet. Believe it or not that is not my real name. That lead to this exchange:

UPS Driver: I have a package you need to sign for.

Mrs. Roman: (glances at name on package) Oh, I think you have the wrong house.

UPS Driver: This is (Address redacted)?

Mrs. Roman: Yes it is. (looks at name. Sighs) Oh, yeah this is for my husband.

UPS Driver: (Looks at label) Are you sure?

Mrs. Roman: Unfortunately, yes.

Well, when I came home I was delighted to see what Happy got for me. Nothing made me happier than seeing Roman WarHelmet as an actual name on a UPS package and that this thing was ordered and shipped under this name. I guess the point of the Not So Secret Santa is to buy each other something that will make us laugh because we detest it. Or something. Whatever the case when I opened the box I was not disappointed.

That is a John Rocker Authographed photo. Don’t believe it’s real? Well, it came with a certificate of authenticity. Check it out.

The fucking Certificate even says real deal. Now for the one or two of you who stumbled across this post looking for a picture of a Panda, news about Derek Jeter being engaged or something about Jayson Werth looking like Edge just understand that I am a sick Mets fan. Rabid. I hate John Rocker. Besides him being a Steroid using bigot, he also beat the Mets like a Steeler fan would beat his 13 week old Pit Bull.

So to Happy, well done. Not only did you get me an Autographed photo I can’t hang in my office between my signed Yogi Berra/Don Larson Perfect Game Photo and my Dr. J Autographed ABA All-Star game photo you sent a package to my house that said Roman WarHelmet which caused my wife a moment of disgust. I can’t imagine a better shitty gift.