Welcome back from the mall. Were you able to push that old lady to the ground and step on her fa
ce in order to get your hands on that wonderful deal? I was, and it was totally worth it. Screw that old lady. If she weren’t so old and crippled, she’d be holding this $200 laptop instead of me. Suck it, Old Lady.
Gosh I love Black Friday (not really). Although I don’t think I understand the name. It has something to do with layaway, right? Am I even allowed to make these kinds of jokes? Probably not. I actually didn’t even make it out this morning. Just the idea of a large number of people waking up at 3 AM in order to rush out to Wal-Mart seems like one of those thing that represents the future fall of humanity as we know it. Perhaps that’s overstating things a bit, but that’s what I do around here. I state things, and then I state them over again. For instance, just the idea of a large number of people waking up at 3 AM in order to rush out to Wal-Mart seems like one of those thing that represents the future fall of humanity as we know it. Perhaps that’s overstating things a bit, but that’s what I do around here. I state things, and then I state them over again (not doing it a 3rd time).
Lots of sports happened yesterday evening, such as:
Broncos 26, Giants 6: Brandon Jacobs rushed for under 30 yards on a dozen or so carries. I realize we live in a time when the QB is in the shotgun 90% of the time and every Offensive Coordinator prefers 5 yard slant routes on each down, but I’m sorry; when your RB who was supposed to be one of the top backs in the league this year is only getting a dozen carries for 30 yards, something is wrong there. Fuck the West Coast offense. We’re eventually going to look back on that style as the end of humanity as we know it. Perhaps that’s overstating things a bit, but…kidding. Also, Brandon Jacobs sucks.
Magic 93, Hawks 76: Atlanta was up 51-39 at the half. Then they promptly scored 14 and 11 in the 3rd and 4th quarters, respectively. Or not respectively. That term is retarded. Why does the writer assume that things were done respectively? Silliness, right? Anyhoo, Vince Carter had a good game for Orlando. So did Dwight. As for Atlanta, I’d like to remind Hawks fans in case they forgot that Marvin Harrison was chosen in the 2005 draft ahead of Chris Paul and Deron Williams.
Jazz Lots of Points, Bulls Not Lots of Points: I’m beginning to tire of these Bulls. I’m not looking it up, but I believe they’ve only broken 100 once all year. That’s not how you do it. That’s not how you debate.
I’m not writing anything else. I’m tired. My body weary, so I can’t make any promises that we’ll have quality programming for you throughout the day. So stick around. Or don’t I don’t care. Try to enjoy your Friday though. Or whatever.
I take umbrage with “Brandon Jacobs sucks” If you watched the game you would have noticed David Diehl and Rich Seubert sucked. And that they have no blocking Tight end. Well, he also totally blew and easy block and “olay’d” a pass rusher into Eli Manning so I guess you are onto something with this Brandon Jacobs sucks thing.
/I am completely sickened today
I figured you would be working today Happy, with no one in the office and all.