Major League Jerk has learned that [Happy’s favorite team] has had preliminary discussions with [some other team] on a potential deal which would involve [an overpriced veteran on Happy’s favorite team, B-level prospects on Happy’s favorite team that Happy wouldn’t mind trading away, and the other team’s All-Star 1st baseman who plays gold glove defense].
MLJ is not aware of the specifics of the trade (ie, names of prospects and exact details as to how many prospects, etc) but the discussions are built on [Happy’s favorite team] sending [over-priced veteran] and prospects to [other team] in-return for [All-Star].
We want to re-iterate that our sources, which we consider to be [prominent commenters on Happy's favorite team's Internet message board], have indicated that the teams have had preliminary discussions. In no way, shape, or form are we reporting this as a done deal or a close to done deal.
MLJ’s 1 Happy St Speculates on the trade:
Why [my favorite team] does it?
A deal which would land [All Star] without giving up [any good players on my favorite team] would have to be looked at as a major coup for [my team’s GM]. [All Star] would provide [my favorite team] with a proven MVP candidate and their best offensive player since [my team’s previous best offensive player]. A deal involving [my favorite team’s overpriced veteran and my favorite team’s B-level prospects] for [All Star] would leave the club with holes, but by moving [overpriced veteran], the club would have most of the financial resources it needs to fill its remaining holes. Combine [All Star] with [my team’s best players] and you are talking about a team with the core parts to not only contend for the World Series, but win it.
Final Take:
While this deal is not imminent, it is clear that [Happy’s favorite team] not only has a need for [All Star], but also the pieces to obtain him. What the ultimate package would be is un-clear, but most of the theoretical packages would provide [Happy’s favorite team] with the middle of the order bat that could put the club over the top.
Post inspired by these jokers.
Goof jorp, schlarpy
Is this a Mad Lib?
If you haven’t already copyrighted that idea it’s ours now. All comments become the property of the blog they’re posted on.
/schlarpy, start with the trade rumor mad lib, post haste!
While this deal is not imminent, it is clear that [Happy’s favorite team] not only has a need for [All Star], but also the pieces to obtain him.
I hope they have ENOUGH pieces, because it always sucks when you look at a team and they just don’t have enough pieces.
My favorite team has tons of pieces Too.
My pieces are totally better than your pieces and if you disagree, then you are a socialist.
/This could go on forever
So what your saying is “Grienke for Ordonez and Marcus Thames”?
Jeter for Brady Quinn, according to The Gay Fah Go Times
Through a source I heard the Mets have enough pieces to pull of TWO Mega deals the First sends Daniel Murphy, Oliver Perez and a couple of Single A guys for Roy Halladay and then Sending Angel Pagan, Luis Castillo Two AA players but Not Ike Davis or Jennry Mejia to San Diego for Adrian Gonzalez. TO fill the gaps they will sign Matt Holliday and John Lackey and Chone Figgins.
Is your source “plugged in”?
Is it ever!
/computers don’t run on Batteries silly
Lollerskates
Laptops do.
this trade sucks.
lol nice move, Cubs. You still suck.
Cubs? CUBS?!?!?!? Take it back.
/don’t really care. Nobody likes my team either.
oh come on…we LOVE the meth sox.
Totally unfair. A more appropriate trade would be Thames for the entire Kansas City Royals organization.
/what were we talking about?
I would never trade Marcus Thames, never. Not even if there were a fire!
Dear Triston,
What I was attempting was silly humor. You ruined it by being that guy. Please refrain from that. Hef had his Lollerskates on and everything. Now look. He is on the curb, taking them off and weeping. See what you did? SEE?
Yours.
Roman
Thames better not get in my face. Cause I’ll drop that motherfucker.
I am just a regular everyday normal guy
I ruin internet jokes motherfucker!
/Triston
I used to get high with Johnny Hopkins. Me and Sloan Kettering and Johnny Hopkins used to blaze that shit up.
/More accurate. Sorry for ruining your funny, Roman.
Marcus Thames once put out a fire by punching it. True story.
You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
I object to this post in its entirety. It gives me no reasons why trading Curtis Granderson to the Yankees makes sense for both the Tigers and Yankees.
this may be one of the greatest pics i have ever seen.
more than likely nsfw.
http://twitpic.com/ps9ku
Markus Tims = Bill Brasky?
There are skanks and there are skanks, and Coco blows all of them out of the water. Jesus, she’s the nastiest skank I ever saw.
the only two words i could think of were “hotdog” and “hallway.”
I like Hot Dogs. Hallways, not so much.
/hef
ok, i just now realized who that was in the picture. it was a lot cooler when i thought it was just some ho bag with big titties.
/runs away crying.
Giselle > Jessica Simpson