Since I know all of you love minor league football, I present to you…EVEN MINOR-ER LEAGUE FOOTBALL!!!

That’s right.  Today’s list, the top five college football recruits as judged by MLJ Scouting Director of Player Personnel, spencer096.

5. Devin Gardner (Michigan): It pains me to give so much kudos to Michigan, but they got their hands on a real fuckin’ deal with Gardner.  This kid seems built to play in Rich Fraud’s spread’n’shred, with nimble feet, good size and a decent arm.  Garnering comparisons to pre-OSU Terrelle Pryor, Gardner is a dual threat QB with the ability to break big plays, and while he doesn’t have Pryor’s impressive size and speed combination, he’s a more polished passer.  He’s going to be good.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pittsburgh, Ole Miss and Oklahoma State all lost, meaning they’re frauds.  Too bad we already knew that.

No, there’s no mayor this week, instead we will operate under the leadership of the Fraud City Parliment, also known as the ACC, yes, the ENTIRE conference.

Virginia Tech has been a fraud ever since Mike Vick left, so we won’t really touch on them any more than we already have, but the rest of the conference?  North Carolina, already being exposed as frauds recently, just got frauded again to a putrid NC State team that had no business being on the same field as one of the most talented teams in the conference.  Miami showed up to play…which is great considering they’ll either show up in gangbusters or shit the bed completely…you really never know, which is more than you can say for Florida State going against their bitter rivals.

But the biggest criminals?  Serial frauds Clemson and their ACC Championship game opponent, Georgia Tech. Read the rest of this entry »

Hooray! Derek Jeter was named SI’s Sportsman of the Year because he’s just so awesome and there’s no other reason to name someone a sportsman of the year other than the fact they’re so awesome!

The following people deserved it more just for sports accomplishments:

• Usain Bolt who shattered world records without even breathing hard.
• Roger Federer who continues to prove his superior ability in an individual sport where it’s much easier to recognize obvious superiority.

Baseball Players who deserved it more than Jeter? How about both MVPs, Joe Mauer and Albert Pujols, who are just as classy and are far superior with both their bats and their gloves.

Hell, consider that this year the Yankees added 3 superstars, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, and AJ Burnett in order to finally win a World Series that Jeter couldn’t provide them without the added help.

Is it about how classy he is?  Or is it about overrated praise that feeds into the idea of his abilities?  To answer that question, let me end with a quote from Sports Illustrated Group editor Terry McDonell:

This verifies my idea that he is on the level of Ruth and Gehrig,” McDonell said. “He’s the greatest shortstop in the history of the game.”

The history of the game.  Wow.

Nothing To Click Here is the collective effort of the entire MLJ staff. These are just some of the things we come across in our daily reading. The links contained within are either extremely well-written, thought-provoking, funny, weird or simply awesome. If you have any suggestions please send them here.

Xmas gift ideas for yo bitch and shit. (Esquire)

Rasheed goes full on racial in rant. (Pippen Ain’t Easy)

A story about Tiger Woods. This one calls him a liar. (Josh Q. Public)

Best popsicle ad evar. (boing boing)

As a treat for our readers, we’ve decided to share some of our old school pictures for the holidays. First up: Rex and his headgear. (AFP)

Wanted. A nemesis. (craigslist)

Vince Young has officially taken it to the next level.  Whatever the fuck that means.  (Global Sports Fraternity)

After the jump, uber sick pwnage burn.
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I understand we haven’t gotten to December yet but I have already received my Secret Santa gift from Happy. Well, I guess it isn’t so secret considering we all knew who we got before hand. Rex put all of our names in a magical machine of some sort and we were all matched up. In fact, he wrote a post about it. So we are all up to date here is who has who:

From the official Name Drawing web site of Major League Jerk:

sharpy BUYS FOR roman.

crm BUYS FOR hef.

nickp BUYS FOR stigs.

clown BUYS FOR gonzo.

spence BUYS FOR rex.

rex BUYS FOR crm.

hef BUYS FOR sharpy.

stigs BUYS FOR spence.

gonzo BUYS FOR clown.

roman BUYS FOR nickp Read the rest of this entry »

A double dosage of today’s awesomeness.  First, courtesy of my own sleuthery…

…and the second, courtesy Hef.

And if anyone can find a video of Deon Beasley and Anthony Lewis’ hit from the Texas vs. Texas A&M game…well, that’d be on there too.  And might as well throw every one of Toby Gerhart’s runs against Notre Dame in there too…he steamrolled those faggy Jesuits.

Arizona 17, Tennessee 20: Here are two things I never thought I’d see together in an NFL recap…Vince Young and 387 yards passing, and it’s not even because he’s a shitty QB.  It’s more a factor of Chris Johnson being the second coming of Barry Sanders and Tennessee not really having  to throw enough times to get to their QB to 387 yards, especially not in a relatively low scoring, very close win where the Titans weren’t behind.  9.0 YPA for VY, who’s looking like he’s finally getting used to the speed of the NFL.

This is not a good thing for the rest of the league.

Oh, and there are not enough words to describe how fucking ridiculous Chris Johnson is.  And I feel bad for not getting into VY’s 4th quarter drive that was just about as good as it gets, but just go read a recap of his NC win and put Titans in for Longhorns and there you go.  That TD to Kenny Britt was a helluva throw.  Uncle Rico my ass.

Indy 35, Houston 27: The Texans squandered a 17-0 lead and nobody, I repeat NOBODY, was surprised by the outcome, but it was kinda surprising how they got there.  Nobody is confusing Indy for a running team, yet here they are, on a day where they find themselves in a huge hole and Peyton wasn’t firing on all cylinders, finding great success on the ground and overcoming the inconsistency of the passing game.

In other news, Gary Kubiak’s seat is getting pretty fuckin’ hot.  He’s probably gone and will make a helluva offensive coordinator. Read the rest of this entry »

Good Evening  Jerks! All I wanted was for the stupid Washington Racists to beat the Fucking Iggles. Way to blow the lead and game douchebags. Granted Jason Campbell was robbed of a 15 yard roughing the passer penalty on 4th and 2 with 1:02 left because he is a terrible QB and is black and as we know only good white QBs get bailed out on roughing the passer calls. In Campbell’s case he had his head twisted and was thrown to the ground after the pass. Fuck em. He should of run for a first down. Anywho, the Giants still blow all kinds of asshole so it really wouldn’t have mattered, right?* We as of this post, I have a choice of two games. Brett Favre and the Vikings vs. the Jay Cuter led Bears on FOX or Matt Cassel and the Chiefs vs. Philip Rivers and the Chargers on CBS. Is there nothing else that they could have shown? Like a Rodeo or Monster Truck rally? Those games suck. Cardinals/Titans or Jaguars/Niners would have been better. Whatever, I’ll watch any way.

Tonight is going to be a great game. Flacco comes to primetime baby! Dennis Dixon leads the Steelers to a certain loss. Unless they win. Enjoy that and remember to touch a neighbor’s kid or have an affair with your best friend’s wife. You only live once. Read the rest of this entry »

Good Morning folks. It is the third day in the life of America’s fascination with Tiger Wood’s car accident/ass whupping and today he and his wife are going to give a report to the police! I truly find this story to be intriguing. The reason, ESPN. And no this is not what you think. On Friday, I was watching Illinois/Cincinnati because I have no life when John Saunders broke in with the “Tiger Woods Seriously Injured in a Car Accident” report. It was one of those stomach sinking things that made the mind go into overdrive. Would he ever be the same? Would the golf landscape be the same? Would sports world be seriously altered? Then you find out he had some cuts on his face and was already home in bed by the time the story broke. OK, cool. Then this whole aftermath of Tiger’s wife possibly kicking his ass and chasing him with a golf club is interesting. Sort of. Most of the time I don’t give a shit but I think the initial report has me paying attention to this story. If John Saunders breaks in with “Tiger Woods has some minor cuts and a concussion in a minor car accident” I wouldn’t have cared at that point on. So well done ESPN. Because you trumped up the initial report, I am hooked. Did Elin go batshit crazy because Tiger was allegedly bopping a 7? Is Tiger not this wholesome dork he portrays himself as? Why am I so turned on by his batshit crazy wife? I love it. Well until this story is overblown next week and the NY Post has a daily article devoted to the comings and goings of Tiger and Elin. Then I am out. Read the rest of this entry »

The Cavs welcome the Dallas Fagricks into the Q tonight. The Cavs will look to rebound after last night’s dismal performance against Charlotte. I’m still home for Thanksgiving in Sticksville, OH, so I will not be in attendance this evening. I had planned on running a picture of Dirk’s girlfriend, but after perusing Google images, I just can’t do that to our readership.

Other interesting matchups can be found here (NBA) and here (minor league fagball).

I found this video 10x funnier than I probably should have, but I’m playing it for you anyway.

One movie to think about:

The Wrestler on HBO: Pretty solid but imo overrated. Marisa Tomei’s venture into topless (along with Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead) has really brought her career full-circle. Certainly a highlight.

That’s it for me. Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend, brahs and brah-ettes. An epic thread to all and to all a good night.