The video above is from the television show “Just the ten of us”, or some shit. It was on back in the late 1980’s and was part of ABC’s TGIF lineup for a little while until it was replaced by something that was probably equally as bad. Anyway, tonight I’m all about paying homage to TGIF. The main reason for my homage is because Dave Coulier recently became a fan of this site (perhaps unbeknownst to him, but still). Another reason for my homage is because I enjoy saying the word “homage” out loud. Go ahead and try it. Say it out loud right now.
Homage
One more time…
Homage
Isn’t that fun? I love paying homage. It’s one of my favorite things to do outside of giving the heimlich. I’ll tell you what, if I could spend an entire day just sitting around paying homage and giving heimlich’s, I’d be a happy fucking guy. A Happy fucking guy. I’d be 1 Happy fucking guy.
Now you might be asking yourself, “why is Happy my favorite writer on the Internet and how can I pay homage to him?” Hmm, a two-parter, ay? Well I’m game. The answers are as follows:
1. He’s awesome
2. You can watch any one of his television recommendations that he’ll have for you after the jump while simultaneously diddling your significant other in her hoohah or his manhole. And while you’re doing all that, he wants you to sing these lyrics out loud in the melody of Adam Sandler’s Lunch Lady song: “Hoohah’s and manhole’s, hoohah’s and manholes. Navy beans navy beans navy beans navy beans. Hoohah’s and manholes, hoohah’s and manholes. Navy beans navy beans, MEATBALL SANDWICH!”
That’s just about the best homage a guy could ever get.
The rec’s after the jump:
Flash Forward (ABC): This is an encore airing of last night’s episode. If you forgot to watch it or save it or haven’t heard of it, I’m going to recommend you give it a shot. It’s got Penny from Lost and Harold from Harold in it. It’s going to be one of those shows where every week brings on more questions than it answers and it’s going to piss you off by the 2nd week of Season 2 and all the nerds are going to create blogs about it.
On second thought, you should probably skip it.
Field of Dreams (AMC): I took the wife to Galena, IL last weekend for our anniversary. It’s an old-fashioned town about 40 minutes from the actual field in Iowa where the Field of Dreams was located. They used this town to film the 1972 sequence where Ray meets Dr. Graham. It’s also a place for husbands to take their wives antique-shopping in hopes of getting laid afterwards. Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, it’s home to former Illinois Senator Stephen Douglas’s favorite hotel, The DeSoto, which I just so happened to peruse. I know, right? Can you believe I actually stepped foot in the same hotel where Stephen Douglas used to hang out? God bless that Stephen Douglas. No, not THAT Stephen Douglas. This one.
/the fuck is Stephen Douglas?
The Jay Leno Show (NBC): Ha, naw I’m just kidding.
Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO): Bill’s guests will include the always fair and balanced [democratic congressman], [ultra-liberal Hollywood actor], [one black person], and [conservative blogger who's there to get boo'd].
/didn’t even look it up
Full Color Football: The History of the American Football League (SHO2e): First I have to figure out what channel SHO2e is. Do I have to consult a Periodic Table? (zing). But once I find it, I’m totally watching this. I think this program is a history lesson about what led to the merger between the AFL and NFL. Anything that relates to sports history from back in the day when it was illegal to be an African-American is something I’m going to watch.
White Sox at Tigers (ESPN): The Tigers will lose this game and the Twins will beat the Royals. This will drop the Tigers lead in the AL Central to 1 game.
/spoilers.
Rockies at Dodgers: This is the only other weekend matchup within MLB that still has playoff implications. L.A. has lost 4 in a row while Colorado has won 4 in a row. The Rockies are now only 2 GB in the NL West. Both teams have a playoff spot locked up, so in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter since the playoffs are a crap shoot. But this weekend will determine which team gets to put up a banner at their ballpark next April that says “NL West Champions 2009″ on it. Or maybe “2009 NL West Champions”. Or even “2009 NL West Division Champions” if they can get a discount on lettering or something.
/The more you know!
So there you have it. I feel I’ve given you more than enough quality television programs to choose from for tonight. Pick any of those besides the Jay Leno Show and you’ll be good to go. Until next time, remember that it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And unfortunately for you, everyone you know thinks you’re an asshole.
Check ya on the flip, you greedy sons-a-ma-bitches!
Anvil the Movie is on VH1 on Saturday at 10pm Pacific and Fucked up EST.
Someone must be in the family business.