We’re about a third of the way through through the season as every team has played 5 or six games so far so let’s take a look at how the NFL playoff picture is shaping up. Unlike the NBA where every single team in the league gets in, the NFL is a little more nuanced in their playoff allowance meaning we only have so much room.
The following teams are not making the playoffs. You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. So there’s no reason to get mad. Now is the time to start using Sunday to learn a craft. Perhaps you could finally fix your son’s bike tire or clean out the gutters. Think of all the money you’ll save by buying fewer snacks and alcoholic beverages to get through your typical Sunday.
Rams (0-6)
Titans (0-6)
Tampa (0-6)
Kansas City (1-5)
Cleveland (1-5)
Lions (1-5)
Washington (2-4)
Oakland (2-4)
Buffalo (2-4)
Carolina (2-3)
If the season ended today, these would be your playoff teams. I imagine this will change a bit.
AFC North: Bengals (own the tiebreaker over the Steelers)
AFC East: Patriots
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Broncos
Wild Card: Steelers
Wild Card: Ravens
NFC North: Vikings
NFC East: Giants
NFC South: Saints
NFC West: Niners (tied w/Cardinals but own the tiebreaker)
Wild Card: Falcons
Wild Card: Green Bay
The obvious locks for the playoffs are the Broncos (if they win tonight), Saints, Vikings, Giants (right?) and Colts. Tom Brady is getting his rhythm back after being out all of last year so I’ll throw them into the lock category in a weak AFC East. That leaves the Falcons, Steelers, Ravens, Niners, Packers and Bengals as up for grabs.
The Falcons still have two games remaining against the Saints, but they also have two remaining against the Bucs. Let’s call it a wash and say they’ll be 6-3 after that set. They only have to go 4-4 to hold on to a playoff spot (probably) with a schedule that includes Washington, Buffalo, and Carolina. We might be able to call them a lock.
The Niners should be 4-1 but suffered a fluke loss to the Favre-lead Vikings. Their only competition is Arizona who has turned it on over the past two weeks with wins over the Texans and Seahawks. If the Cards can win out in their division (the only tough game would be against SF in December) this one will go down to the wire.
The Bengals are the only team in the playoffs right now who have not outscored their competition. I don’t see them hanging onto the division or Wild Card spot even with games remaining against KC, OAK, and CLE.
The Ravens are a good goddamn team who have suffered two close losses in a row. They’ve got two games remaining against PIT but I see them making the playoffs. Flacco isn’t a chump and that defense is a lot better than what they showed in the first half of the Vikings game yesterday.
This leaves us with the rest of the group: the .500 (or slightly better) teams not currently in playoff contention that are going to claw for that final spot, in order of likelihood.
Jaguars (3-3): Don’t get me wrong, I think this team sucks…hard. But they have the easiest schedule I’ve ever seen. If they were an average team they could go 12-4, but they’re mediocre so they’ll end up around 9-7 which means they’ll be in the running. In three weeks (they have a bye this Sunday) there’s a chance they’ll be sitting at 5-3 after playing Tennessee and KC. If they hadn’t shat the bed against Seattle, a team that also sucks, last week (41-0 loss?) they’d be getting undue praise for a record that doesn’t reflect their talent.
Green Bay (3-2)/Chicago (3-2): Green Bay is technically in right now but not by much. Both of these teams are flawed and have made costly mistakes that have resulted in close losses. It also doesn’t help that the Vikings have won two games that they easily could have, nay should have, lost. The final spot in the playoffs will come down to either these two or Philly/Dallas.
San Diego (2-2): With a win tonight they’ll be at 3-2 and only 2 games back in the division. If they lose tonight we can call them dunzo.
New York (3-3): J-E-S-T JEST! JEST! JEST! This team sucks and Mark Sanchez has the poise of an aborted fetus. 8 INTs in his last 3 games including 5 yesterday…what was the name of the other QB who was drafted in the first round again?
Philadelphia (3-2)/Dallas (3-2): Like Green Bay and Chicago, these two teams exist in a division with a much, much better team. If either team sweeps the other, they’ll probably sneak in. If they split their season series the final playoff spot will go to Green Bay/Chicago.
id be offended if i was an aborted fetus.
You’re only on the Ravens nuts because you have Flacco in fantasy.
I’m noticing a trend here…
I benched him yesterday because I thought he would fail against the Vikes. He looked good. Too bad his kicker failed him.
KICKER!
I would say his poise is more like that of a dumpster baby.
If the season were to end today, the Lions would not have the worst record.
/progress!!!!!!
Maybe a homecoming dumpster baby. Not quite a prom night dumpster baby just yet.
you really don’t watch the NFL do you?
What are you talking about? Jared Allen carves dudes up. And he looked like shit in the first half.
Let me clarify: thought he would fail = do worse than Matt Ryan against the Bears.
I was wrong.
/and thanks for the advice Tampa
Spencer, if Brady Quinn still on your team?
is = if, fuck.
And did you really trade away Big Ben for Derek Anderson?
Hef You still are winning. lol at Nate Washington getting you -2.50 points for -22 yards receiving. WTF who does that?
The Pats defense that’s who.
/flexes
and the secondary is awful and gives up gobs of fantasy points. it’s been this way since 2006.
BQ is gone, but yes i did…but that was for reasons other than fantasy. i wanted big ben’s stink off my team. i don’t take rapists.
Derek Anderson got him 3.78 points against me this week.
/god bless Derek Anderson
//facts are facts
That Rapist put up mad points but the rest of my team sucks so its a lost cause.
Not sure what your league is like, but the Vikings have been very good for me until yesterday.
and NE’s D got you 20.
they get fantasy points, but in real, live football, they can be passed on.
I wasn’t saying they couldn’t be, just that Hef had every reason to play them in fantasy.
I was really looking forward to breaking it off in Roman’s ass yesterday but my team collectively shit the bed. McRib at Oakland looked tasty, especially after the TB beat down.
I am not Hef, I don’t enjoy things being broken off in my ass.
So you’re a top?
/nttawwt
Roman’s tema got the beating they deserved last week, much like gonzo did this week. if it wasn’t for a fluketastic performance by spencer’s team in week 1 I would be undefeated.
Passed the at home drug test. Life is good.
/high fives Tampa