Sweet Lemonade Quality Start

That fucking song has been stuck in my head all weekend, but enough about me, how ’bout them Yankees?

Angels 2, Yankees 5: Thank God this fucking series is over.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, it was an entertaining series, but Jesus tapdancing Christ, does it suck to watch the Angels.  You know how there are some teams that are undeniably good but just look awkward and strange?  Yea, that’s the Angels.

Anyways, this was a textbook series in the sense that the better team won, not the underdogs riding a ridiculous hot streak or a lesser opponent beating the favorites who just decided to slump all at once.  Nope, this was just a case of the Yankees being better in pretty much every avenue, including defensively, as the Angels last night error’d their way into Bolivian.

So do the Phillies have a shot?  Fuck yea they do.  Damn good one too.

World Series starts Wednesday.

NFL:

Vikings 17, Stillers 27: Blech…this game was slop city.  Listen, all I’m saying is that when Pittsburgh’s defense gets them two TD’s, it’s hard to give credit to a fat, retarded horse rapist.  It’s easy to get a W when Brett Favre is giving the ball away like 100 Grand bars at Halloween.

Arizona 24, New Jersey Giants 17: Bleck…this game was slop city.  Wait, didn’t I just say that?  Yes…yes, I did, but it still applies.  This game was damn near unwatchable with both teams taking alternating turns at the bulimitorium.  This game was so awful, I considered switching to that new Comedy Central show Secret Girlfriend when the Yankees game went to commercial.  And if you’ve seen that show, you KNOW that if I was honestly contemplating watching that, then this game must have sucked something fierce.

Bears 10, Bengals 45: I’m conflicted as fuck about the Bengals.  On one hand, it’s my Browns-ly duty to hate the living shit out of them, but at the same time, I fuckin’ love Ochocinco.  Sure, their uniforms shouldn’t be seen outside of Barnum and Bailey’s but who cares?  They’re fuckin’ good.  They’re better than the faggy Ravens and Stillers, that’s for sure.

Then again, Cincinnati is the capital of sodomites and scallywags so…nuke em?  Sounds good.

Saints 46, Dolphins 34: My favorite player in the NFL, Sticky Ricky, scored three TD’s but it wasn’t enough to overcome big balls Brees and his cavalry of ridiculously talented targets.  Wait…you mean to tell me that Brees only threw one TD while running for two?  And with three INT’s?  My world…it’s in shambles.  OK, not really, but whatever, fuck the Dolphins.

Bills 20, Panthers 9: My God…what would compel you to watch this game?  There are six teams that are downright unwatchable this year…Rams, Browns, Jaguars, Chiefs and these two teams, with HEAVY emphasis on the Bills.  The Bills are so downright offensive to watch, well, I’m offended.  They play this just gawd-awful brand of football that’s JUST effective enough to keep them full fledged disaster mode, like the Rams, Browns and Chiefs, but it really isn’t that much better.  If there was such a statistic as bad wins that should be losses, the Bills would definitely lead against any other sporting franchise in history.

New Jersey Jets 38, Oakland O: Lets see…144 yards for Shonn Greene and 124 for Thomas Jones…who should we give credit to?  OH I KNOW!!!  MARK “9-15 for 143 yards” SANCHEZ!!!

God I hate this fucking kid.  He falls in the hateable personality category that can only be described thusly…I’d wish him death but I know that would only enhance his undeserved legacy, so instead, I wish him continued failure in the hopes that people get so sick of his shitiness that they’ll start to hate him as well.

Rest of the scores here.

Have a nice day everybody.