Imagine last year you were bangin this chick. She was hot and all. But in the sack, she was dull and lacked any dick sucking ability and cried afterwards. After you banged her a few times, you got bored and dumped her for the next flavor of the week because you are a man-whore and you discard poontang faster than chicken wings on NFL Sunday.
So last night you run into her at the bar and she is looking sweeter than a Krispy Kreme donut. You’ve had a lil bit of a dry spell, so you try to slither your way into her pants once again. Yet you gotta lay on the charm extra thick because she just got done banging Rex and Clown (It’s been a really rough year for her) to get over you from last time. One wink and 3 Kamikaze shots later, she’s still putting on the breaks. In the back of your mind, you KNOW she will be riding the Gonzo Roller Coaster tonight. But you just need an extra sleight of hand to make it happen. What trick up your sleeve will work?
Chooch says, "Make sure you wear a raincoat, Gonzo."
That’s how I felt last night watching the Phils game. As soon as Chooch Ruiz hit the 3-run bomb, I knew the game was over. I just didn’t know what tricks Chollie had to pull out of his sleeve to make it happen. (Of course, if you watched the game and listened to Chip Carey and the crowd at Dodger Stadium, you woulda thought the Phils were down by 12 runs. Seriously, the Dodger cock sucking has to stop).
It’s almost 2 AM. And you pull out the trusty old Brad Lidge line from 2008 to seal the deal…
Were you listening to the same game I was? “The Overlooked Ryan Howard”? Overlooked? How do you miss a perenial All-Star and former MVP? Also, Chase Utley’s nuts were properly gargled. Even the Cole Hamels dicksucking was there. As for the Dodger crowd, isn’t that how it should be? Good job LA for being loud and unCublike.
Like Rex and Clown just ran a train on you?
needs a longer lede
This made me laugh. There was a lot of buildup for one or two sentences about the game. Still, nice work Gonzo. I enjoyed this post. Especially the buildup…and the part about the game.
I enjoyed the end. not the ending…the end.
she’s still putting on the breaks.
/Stigs’d?
Steroids are a hell of a drug!
/Raul Ibanez