Barring some kind of dramatic HR in a clinching game or a fluketastic pitching performance like Jack Morris’, years from now when we look back on the 2009 MLB playoffs, the two things we’re going to remember most about them are the mind-numbingly stupid umpire calls and the craptastic managerial moves. The top of the 9th inning of Thursday night’s game between the Yankees and Angels seemed to be a battle of half-wits between managers Mike Scioscia and Joe Girardi. It’s as though neither of them wanted their teams to win.
Trailing 7-6 in the top the 9th, the Yankees had their 2-3-4 hitters due up. Angels closer Brian Fuentes got Damon and Teixeira on quick outs, which then brought up Alex Rodriguez with nobody on and the Angels 1 out away from sending the series back to NY. Mike Scioscia, in his infinite wisdom, decided to put Rodriguez on with an intentional walk. Obviously his thought process behind the move was to…[um]. What the hell?
An intentional walk with 2 outs and nobody on base in the 9th inning when you’re up by 1 run? Why the bloody hell would Scioscia do that? Here’s what he probably said afterwards if anyone questioned him: A-Rod has been on fire in the playoffs and Matsui was on deck, so we felt more comfortable going with the lefty-lefty matchup. Now here’s what I would have said if I was standing next to Scioscia after he gave that answer: Solid move, Mike. You’re awesome. Here, want a tootsie pop? I’ve had them in my pocket for a few hours, but they’re still delicious. Yeah I probably would have pussed out. What do you want from me? He’s a former athlete and I’m just some dude who occasionally types shit from the confines of his dad’s basement. But here’s what I would have wanted to say: Mike, are you bloody crazy? A-Rod’s career OBP is something like .400. Granted that’s an awesome percentage, but do you know what you intentionally made his OBP during that particular at-bat? One-thousand. I’d put the word ‘thousand’ in italics, but I’m putting this entire sentence in italics so it’s not like I could make it, you know, even more italic. But Mike, please know that I put extra emphasis on the word ‘thousand’ when I said it. You intentionally gave A-Rod an OBP .600 points higher than his career average. You’re a moron. I don’t know his career averages against Fuentes, but I do know this: he hasn’t reached base every single god-damn time. Strategizing against the HR is borderline retarded. Wait, is “strategizing” a word? It looks like it would be, but it sounds funny. Either way, just because a guy is a HR hitter doesn’t mean it’s easy for him to hit HR’s. Then I would have turned around and walked out of that press conference with my fists in the air like Judd Hirsch at the end of The Breakfast Club.
Oh and just so we’re clear, Joe Girardi taking his best hitter out of the game for a pinch-runner DURING A GAME IN WHICH HIS TEAM WAS TRAILING so that A-Rod could hit the showers early like Manny was the kind of move that makes me question my own life choices. Like why do I sit at my computer for hours on end making a fraction of the money Joe makes while he gets to watch 162+ baseball games from the confines of the mother-fucking Yankees dugout making millions? The world is a cruel, cruel place.
To make up for it, we’ll try to have quality reading material for you throughout the day, but we make no promises. I do know that Roman will have something, a comedian may make an appearance, and there will definitely be some useful filler. So stick around and have a happy Friday.
I’m right there with you Happy. I was baffled by both. It’s almost as if these guys don’t actually watch the games they manage.
Who’d a thunk Charlie Manuel would be the smartest manager in the playoffs?
you could have put “thousand” in bold or typed it in all caps…or in bold with all caps.
/mmmmmm sweet lemonade
That thought makes me sick.
/don’t forget Scioscia taking his best pitcher out with 2 outs in the 6th with a lead when he really hadn’t been hit too hard and Girardi leaving in Burnett in to pitch to pitch the 7th and then not pulling him after he hit the first batter. Then Girardi not having Mariano Rivera up when Joba was losing it. I mean this game was not baseball strategy at it’s finest.
If Hef is also my manager, how do we settle this argument?
/didn’t read the post
Video of the day is softcore porn
You’re welcome.
I bet Spencer squeezed 2 out at work by now.
I don’t think that was a bad move. He had been dealing for the last 4 innings and had a low pitch count. Other than that it was an epic fail by both managers.