Good news. Lofty news.
Ok…neither is true…except the loftiness part. But even that’s not entirely true.
So LeBron…let me ask you this. If you could dunk on anyone, and LeBron knows LeBron can dunk on anyone, who would you dunk on?
If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on [him], break the rim and shatter the glass.
Interesting. See, I’d want to do lines and blaze J’s and shoot guns and play golf with GWB (I call him that because it’s a single letter away from my favorite date rape drug), not dunk on him. But then again, that’s why I get paid the big bucks and have a multinational presence in the hate-rant game and LeBron is out there only for our entertainment, bouncing a stupid ball through a poofty net. I mean, it’s not like an entire city’s economy is based on LeBron James or anything.
So is LeBron a bad guy? You’ll have to jump it to find out.
As you could hopefully comprehend the precocious amounts of honey mustard sarcasm I slathered the previous section in, lets move on to how LeBron is truly Ohio’s savior…his charitable efforts in not only helping out Ohio’s most severely fallen angel, Terrelle Pryor, but enlisting the help of his compatriates to further the cause.
I have been in contact (with Pryor), just trying to mentor him through life in the spotlight which I have been through. Being the No. 1 guy, how do you adjust to it and get through it and still perform at a high level? Sometimes, it can be very difficult on someone.
He’s trying to be the guy that can get through a lot of situations in which he has never seen before, but that he’s now seeing and understanding.
I try to keep up with him on game days and wish him luck. Throughout the week, I try to see how things are going because at the end of the day it’s about a lot more than football or basketball. I know because I’ve seen it all from a prep kid who was very (highly-touted) and now as a professional.
Awesome.
Now could you please help him learn how to fucking play like his balls have dropped? That’d be super.
No? You mean to tell me that not even LeBron himself can save the career of the talented, yet not-so-functionally retarded Terrelle Pryor? Damn. Damn it all to hell.
Whatever…here’s what Shaq said to the Second Coming of Buckeye Sticker-clad Poop.
Keep your head up, young man, and get this football team back on track.
Seriously? That’s it? Geaux fuck yourself you fat, LSU pile o’ cash.
/just kidding about that last part
//championship plz
///kthxbai
That’s a threat against the office of the president. They should kill Lebron at half court during the Finals.
You meant conference semi-finals, right? good, just making sure.
wouldn’t cleveland have to make the finals sometime between now and forever for that too happen?
/fuck the nba.
i won’t insult you for your grammar, seeing as you claim allegiance to both arkansas and wisconsin, but the cavs made the finals a couple seasons ago.
can i interest you in banging your cousin? or will this RC cola can full o’ meth do it for you?
whatever…i read your first quote wrong.
regardless…go fuck a knife.
Boom. Roasted.
sparty…enjoy the lottery!
i hope i win.
He should get Happy to find out the numbers for him.
even if you do, you’ll still be poorer than those perennial all stars ben gordon and charlie villanueva. oh wait, they both suck. but hey! they’re rich!
my allegiances to wisconsin come from living there from birth to age 20, and i will pass on the cousins and the meth and take the bong rip for 2000 alex.
Doesn’t LeBron know that GW bashing is soooooooo 2008.
and yet they will still end up with as many titles as lebron gets in cleveland.
doubtful.
the shaqtus will bear fruit.
no no no. we can continue to go back and forth on this topic, spencer. it will all comeback to the cavs never winning a title with LeBron, and him bolting, which just means that they won’t win a title without him either. so yeah, it sucks for you. but in this case for LeBron, the grass is greener on the other side. literally. i mean shit, it’s fucking Cleveland.
The heroin must be great in North Texas right now.
1) Shaq is old
You still have no perimeter defenders
2) The Celtics and Magic will run circles around your lineup
3) Shaq is old
4) Your Cleveland…Face it.
5) Shaq is old
6) Mo Williams will just bitch out again
7) Shaq is old
9) Shaq is old
10) Deonte West’s Herpes will land him on the 15 day D/L.
the emoticon was a nice touch, trey.
got one more run in the tank.
not really…didn’t happen last year, and won’t this year, but we’ll get to that in a second.
face’d.
probably
except for lebron, anthony parker, delonte and jamarrio moon. and probably stephen jackson when he gets traded here.
delonte west’s herpes is the greatest thign to happen to mankind since the mona lisa.
he has been awesome in preseason!
better than sucking in preseason, no?
yo mama
1) Like in Phoenix???
2) I believe the Magic won in 6
3) whew.
4) Whew.
5) Yawn.
6) Comment of the day.
that should just about do it…
phoenix sucks, the magic cheated, phew, PHEW, /doesn’t give a shit, sparty sucks.
Hey, will you Leastern Conference fags just shut the fuck up already? Thanks.
hater.
clown’s prolly right.
san antonio is winning the whole thing anyways, so what are we arguing about?
we can change the subject to how the magic aren’t winning it.
The only way the Magic aren’t winning it is if the Swine flu kills the whole team.
well of course…their one advantage over the cavs, two 6′10″ wingmen, is gone.
cavs ftw!!!
/before getting shitstomped by the spurs again
that or ron jeremy runs out of boner pills.
Cuz of Richard Jefferson? Fuck that, they’re old and done.
EXACTLY because of richard jefferson.
Sorely Mistaken Spence…Ou starting SF will likely be 6′10″ Ryan Anderson…he’s lit it up in the preseason.
Lakers, Spurs or Mavs.
The Magic are a joke. D-Ho is a fraud and was exposed by freaking Pau Gasol of all people. They are gonna miss Hedo so much.
The Celtics are old. KG is a bitch and I wish Ray Allen would be traded so I could root for him again.
The Cavs are a few years away if LeBron stays. He’s stuck in Statsville and needs to move to Wins City.
calling sparty, calling sparty. sparty, will you please come to the customer service kiosk.
Mavs?!!?!?! seriously.
Two words: Rodrigue. Beaubois. He’s like a French Tony Parker.
Just because spencer says that, doesn’t mean you should stoop to that level. you are better than that. next thing you are going to tell me is that he had a really fast 40 time.
+1
fuck french, we only speak freedom round here.
/spits
this is the most accurate statement in this entire section other than comments by me.
cracks me up how irishmafia suddenly thinks the guy is worthless now that he is off the team.
We’ll probably miss Hedo…But I think having a 23 year old 6′11″ dominant center who hasn’t peaked might help…
lebron > dwight
and lebron hasn’t peaked either.
boom. roasted.
I certainly hope he hasn’t peaked, seeing as how he hasn’t really made any strides in his offensive game since his rookie year. The Magic need to drop Patrick Chewing and hire the Dream to coach D-Ho.
clown…if you haven’t seen offensive improvements I’ll break out some game film for ay…it’s NIGHT and Day.
Ya…Lebron’s supporting cast features…TWO All-Stars and a buncha gimps
Dwight’s…(Drumroll)…THREE…
I can’t believe the run the Magic are getting, I think they will struggle to beat Atlanta for the division this year. Lebron has gotten better every year, I’m going with Cleveland in the East.
Lakers or Spurs in the West. OKC will make a playoff run and while Oden will be a nice story/surprise, the Blazers as a hole will struggle this year. I don’t trust McMillan’s ability to handle stars. He’s great at getting a crappy team to play hard and improve, but the Blazers will need a new coach to take the next step.
Can’t believe the run?
THEY’RE THE DEFENDING EASTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS!
THEY BEAT THE CAVS IN 6.
THEY HANDED THE CELTICS THEIR 1ST GAME 7 LOSS AT HOME.
They lost Hedo, but added Vince Carter, Matt Barnes, and Brandon Bass.
They’re not disappearing…(that being said, the Celtics are my pick to win the east)
the celtics? get outta here.
in soviet russia, pryor sucks you!
Lakers/Cavs in the Finals, like it should have been last year.
No I can’t
Boston won the year before, Cleveland before that, Miami…what was the point again?
Fair point, both teams
It’s an indictment on the Magic that it took seven games, and a hot 4th quarter to win game 6, to beat a KG less Celtics. The freaking Bulls took them to seven.
And lost Lee, and have to play Jamar again. That’s three negatives in the back court. Trust Carter at your own peril.
Smells like a 3-5 seed with a 2nd round playoff exit. Not a dissappearing act, but not the class of the East.
SHOULD HAVE…Ya…The Magic took that series…
bbryan…I think your seriously doubting the ability of the Magic. They’re good.
Yeah and what pushovers they proved to be in the Finals. I liked when they quit in Game 5.
To be fair, all of the bandwagon Magic fans had left at halftime.
What pushovers? You mean going to OT in two games makes one a pushover?
Forget the fact that they were a young team in their first NBA Fianls playing a team of seasoned vets…
No perimeter defenders on the Cavs? Why, that just might be the dumbest fucking thing written in the history of this here or any other site in the history of forevAR.
/shut down the internet, boys
Trey – We certainly are on opposite sides of the argument. Their run seemed flukey to me last year with some great shooting in certain games, I have a hard time seeing them doing that again. I’m only a fan of the moves they made in their front court, hate the moves they made in their back court. I have a hard time imagining how the on the court chemistry is going to work. Who will create shots for others?
Arrrgh…We’ve been well over 90% capacity the last 5 years…considering the team was miserable for the better part of a decade I’d say we have a MUCH better non-bandwagon following than the Cavs…And ya. We averaged more than the Celtics before they were gifted Garnett and Allen.
me and nick are the only cavs fans alive…everyone else is a lebron fan.