Dave Coulier is one of our favorite comedians. He was (probably) hilarious to someone in the 80’s during his time on Full House, and even if you don’t remember his past stuff then you’re probably familiar with his more recent work on Skating With Celebrities on FOX. We spoke to him a few months ago about an idea that would blend two of his great passions: Sports and picking games. So each Friday this season, he’ll pick three NFL locks.
Sorry we were only able to get in touch with him this week because he’s so busy being funny and making jokes.
(Home Team in CAPS)
Ravens +2 over PATRIOTS – [Popeye voice] “Oh, Brady will need to eat more Spinach than ever! Uh, cuh cuh cuh cuh cuh! [/Popeye voice]
Bengals -6 over BROWNS – “Me and my young friend Alanis saw The Wizard at a thee-ater in Cleveland. You oughta know what happened next.”
Jets/SAINTS, O/U 46, OVER – “You think that untested Jets D contains Brees? Cut. It. Out!”
Coulier will be playing somewhere in the future. Mark your calendars.
i heard he was that guy that song was about
Let me start this off by saying that I like the idea of lampooning something so ridiculous and stupid. And this is now 3 for 3 that have made me smile, so solid job by whomever this Major League Jerk person is.
[clears throat]
Having said that, what the fuck is going on over there at that other place? I understand that it’s all a big joke and Artie isn’t taking it seriously and that was probably the plan all along. But what I can’t understand is why. Why are they doing that? It’s not funny, it’s not clever, and it serves no purpose. So beyond that, what’s the point? To anger people ironically? No, I really want to know. Does anybody have the answer? What is the point of asking Artie Fucking Lange to give 3 football picks, but to not take it seriously and not be funny with his quip afterwards.
If anybody can answer that question with a truthful answer, I will buy you lunch the next time we meet.
Because TBL sucks donkey balls. Male donkey balls. I suggest we meet at the Italian Market, where I will take a corn beef special. Thank you.
If I meet you at the Italian Market, I’ll buy you a pear and some furniture and perhaps a small grill, but that is all.
Damn gypsies
I’d prefer stickers. I eat stickers all the time.
Listen, bozo, I’m not paying full price for this pear.
Happy, it is because Artie Lange is this generations Richard Pryor
/because of the drug abuse, not the funny or skin color
Artie is like Louie Anderson, without the great Coming to America cameo deserving of a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination.
it’s corned beef, damnit.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Dave Coulier used you guys to get out that he might have a gig somewhere, someday.
not when it has stickers on it
I fucking love this feature. Can you guys. Did you know US Weekly outsold the Bible last week?