In an effort to conserve our originality for the weekdays, MLJ will be running our favorite posts in the history of forever on the weekends. This little gem came out shortly after Roman watched 36 straight hours of cartoons with his daughter. Enjoy.
Scene: School children, off-screen, are leaving school at the end of the day. They say goodbye to the classroom pets. Once the classroom is vacant, a pencil holder rattles to create the ringing of a tin can telephone. One by one, the classroom pets wordlessly notice the ringing phone. Up to this point in the episode, they have acted like normal animals and not said a single word. But as the phone rings, the Wonder Pets get dressed (Linny in a yellow cap, Ming-Ming in a leather pilot’s helmet, Tuck in a white French sailor’s cap and blue water shoes on his back feet) and make their way towards the phone (Linny dropping through a hole hidden under her food bowl and landing on a toy horse, Ming-Ming opening a hidden door in the wiring of her cage and then flying out, Tuck diving into the water in his tank and emerging in the classroom sink) while singing their opening verses:
Linny: “The phone, the phone is ringing!”
Ming-Ming: “The phone, we’ll be wight there!”
Tuck: “The phone, the phone is ringing!”
Linny: “There’s an animal in trouble…”
Ming-Ming: “There’s an animal in twouble…”
Tuck: “There’s an animal in trouble somewhere!”
The Wonder Pets answer the phone and find that an animal is in trouble somewhere. Linny explains the situation to the other two. When the situation is clear, they sing:
Tuck: “A young Raven who can’t check off his primary receiver and keeps throwing interceptions to Troy Polumalu!”
Ming-Ming: “This is se-wious!”
Tuck: “We have to help him”
Linny: “Let’s save the Raven!”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All then All: “Let’s save the Raven!”
They all jump into a box filled with fabric scraps and jump back out, wearing various different outfits, often alluding to the area of the world they will be visiting. They make a quick joke then jump back into the box and emerge in their Wonder Pets capes.
Linny: “Linny,”
Tuck: “Tuck,”
Ming-Ming: “And Ming-Ming, too!”
All: “We’re Wonder Pets and we’ll help you!”
They assemble a flying toy sailboat called “The Flyboat” from classroom objects: a frisbee for a body, magic marker caps as rocket exhausts, a marble, wheels, the mast, and a sheet of paper for the sail. As they work, they sing:
All: “Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets! We’re on our way
To help a young Raven and save the day!”
Ming-Ming: “We’re not too big,”
Tuck: “And we’re not too tough,”
All: “But when we work together we’ve got the right stuff!
Go, Wonder Pets! Yay!”
The Wonder Pets arrive at a practice field in Owings Mills Maryland
Linny: Where is the young Raven who needs our help?
Ming Ming: Oh! It’s Joe Fwacco! What’s the pwoblem Joe Fwacco?
Turtle Tuck: Joe?
Joe: Oh. Hey guys. I didn’t see you there. What’s up?
Linny: Didn’t see us? Joe we are three talking animals that are standing in front of you calling your name. How could you not see us?
Ming Ming: This is se-wious!
Turtle Tuck: It’s OK Joe. We hear you keep throwing the ball to Troy Polumalu.
Ming Ming: Joe! Hewwo? The intewaceptions?
Joe Flacco: Oh yeah! Well, my playbook calls for me to throw the ball to Derrick Mason. Well, every time I do, Troy Polumalu jumps in and picks it off.
Linny: Joe, have you tried looking for another receiver?
Turtle Tuck: I understand Joe. Sometimes, things can get confusing. It happens to all of us. I think I know what we can do. We can practice a play with other players and even though you are supposed to throw to Derrick, you can look to you friends Todd Heap and Ray Rice.
The Wonder Pets get Derrick Mason, Ray Rice and Todd Heap on the field and set up a play but first they sing:
Linny: “Linny,”
Tuck: “Tuck,”
Ming-Ming: “And Ming-Ming, too.”
All: “We’re Wonder Pets and we’ll help you!”
Linny: “What’s gonna work?”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All: “Teamwork!”
Linny: “What’s gonna work?”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All: “Teamwork!”
Derrick Mason: I appreciate what you all Wonder Pets are doing but it won’t work. Trust me, we have done this a lot.
Ming Ming: Don’t worwy Dehwwick! We do this all the time.
Linny: OK Joe, this is how it is going to go. Derrick is going to run a slant. Troy Polumalu is going to be on his side. Don’t throw there.
Turtle Tuck: Yeah Joe, We will send Todd Heap on a basic Post Pattern. Nice and easy. With Troy cheating on Derrick’s side this should open him up.
Ming Ming: And Just in case Todd is not open, we are going to send Way Wice out on a scween to the other side of the Fie-wd. Do you understand Joe Fwacco?
Turtle Tuck: JOE!!!!!!
Joe Flacco: Yeah.
Linny: Do you understand the play?
Joe Flacco: Yeah, I know this one. It’s in the playbook!
The Wonder Pets: Alright!
Joe Flacco lines up for the pass. He takes a three step drop and looks Derrick Mason’s way. Joe forgets to look at Ray Rice or Todd Heap and stares down Derrick. After 6 seconds he throws.
But before it gets there….
The Wonder Pets: Oh No! Troy Polumalu!
Joe Flacco: Hey Troy! How did you do that again? The Wonder Pets drew up a play that was supposed to stop that.
Ming Ming: Are you fucking se-wious? Se-wiuosly? Joe Fwacco, you were supposed to check off to Way Wice or Todd Heap? Did you? Did you? Huh? Joe? I told you don’t thwow to Dewwick? Did you not do that? Jeuse Tapdancing Chwist! Ho-wy fuck.
Ming Ming: Teamwook ins’t wowking on you mothafucwah. You are tewwible.
Derrick Mason: HA! See, I told you all Wonder Pets. I told you.
Fin.
h/t wikipedia for the basic outline of an episode and the song
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