Gotta start with the NFL don’t we? Even with Tiger turning back the clock and raping the field, we had our first taste of professional football, and sweet sassy was it refreshing.
Vikings 34, Browns 20: Why are people talking about Brett Favre? Dude threw for 110 fucking yards, yet that’s all Berman and Tom Jackson will talk about. Fuck that…25 rushes, 180 yards, broke Eric Wright’s soul on one of the sickest runs we’ll see all year…this Vikings team is SCARY good.
Detroit 27, NO 45: Drew Brees is on pace to throw 96 TD’s this season.
Dallas 34, TB 21: Tony Romo may be fraudtasticly fraudalicious but did he have one helluva day yesterday. 16 completions for 358 yards…but don’t give him all the praise, Dallas’ WR’s were living in the soft spots of TB’s zone and broke off massive YAC’s because TB apparently hired Romeo Crennel to teach their defenders how to play zone by standing in one spot the entire time and not pursuing.
Good to see Cadillac Williams looking good again.
Carolina 10, Philly 38: Guess who looks like world beaters!?!??!?! Philly!!!
Is it the beginning of the season? Yup. Did Philly look amazing? Mm hmm. Will they fuck up again? Once McRib comes back, I’m sure they will. Lets go Vick!!! Now’s your chance!!! ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!
Chicago 15, GB 21: Sloppy game on both sides. 2009 096 mancrushes, Cutler and Rodgers both looked like shit as the defenses were just teeing off on both of them. Can the Bears get a WR please?
Houston 7, NYJ 24: Sanchez is currently getting fellated on SC by Berman and Jackson, but I say lets hold off the piddle paddle until Sanchez fucking throws a pass longer than 10 yards. It was his first start and I already hope he gets Theisman’d. Fuck Mark Sanchez.
Golf: Before we get to the Tiger slobbing, lets take a look at what Brandt Snedeker did when he 4-putted the 18th yesterday from 12′9″…lost over $100k in purse money from the BMW, dropped from 28th to 33rd in the FedEx Cup Rankings, meaning he misses the cut and the $120k he’d make for finishing last next week AND the $175k he’d have made just by making it to the TOUR Championship. This is up there with Sean O’Hair’s performance at the 2007 Players when he lost $420k by plunking two in the drink at 17. Yay rich guys losing money!!!
There really isn’t much to say about Tiger Woods anymore. He had a big lead heading into Sunday and put it on cruise control and shot a 68 to win by 8. I mean, we’re completely out of superlatives at this point, but what more can this guy do? He just dominates these select field events like nobody else…WGC events, FedEx Cup events…doesn’t matter. He’s winning, and he’s winning big.
I’m telling you…he’s winning the Grand Slam next year.
Tennis: Club Fed advanced…Nadal did not. Whatever.
Great game by Brett Favre yesterday. Good to see him having fun out there, albeit against a far inferior foe.
Cutler throws 4 Picks and we only lose by 6? Thats not horrible.
i quit.
AP is the greatest running back ever.
Vikings scary good? They beat the Browns. That is like saying Jonas Brothers are a great band because they sell lots of records to 10 year old girls.
/Hopes to make Spencer quit again
the vikings are scary good…better than your faggy giants.
Attended first Browns game ever. Was hoping to see a vintage Favre performance (pick-6, maybe a sack-fumble) but alas AP stole the show.
/Fuck Favre’d