Quality Start: I’m Liking Me Some Foosball

Troy may be out with a knee

Wow that was an awesome Thursday night, wasn’t it? In case you didn’t watch the Steelers/Titans game, here’s a couple bullet points of things you should know:

• You’re gay. What the hell else could you have been doing that was more important than the NFL’s opening night? It was the only game on the schedule and it was nationally televised. You went out to a movie with your lady friend, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU? Unacceptable.
• Seriously, what happened? Was it a good game?

I’m kidding. Of course I’m kidding. I watched every second of it up until the point when Hines Ward caught that pass at the 20 yard line with a minute left and the game was tied at 10. I turned the channel right as he caught the pass, but I’m assuming he dropped to a knee so the Steelers could kick a game-winning FG. Am I right?

[opens Internet, flips to box score page, sees final score Pittsburgh 13, Tennessee 10]

Phew. Glad I didn’t miss anything. Smart play by Hines Ward dropping to a knee like that. Here’s a few Happy thoughts from Thursday night’s game up until the point when Hines took a knee: 1. Why were Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels standing up in the broadcast booth for the entire game? Every time the camera cut to them, they were standing. What would happen if they sat down? Can somebody find those guys a comfortable chair to sit in? Where’s Costanza when you need him? 2. Ben Consentlesberger (copyright NickP I think) is gonna get killed one of these days. I picture him in the huddle calling a play: I’m gonna hold onto the ball for 10 to 12 seconds while mixing in some pump fakes, then I’m gonna get creamed by a linebacker. On one on one, ready BREAK! That play needs a nickname. I’m thinking “the Bencake”. Or maybe something better and funnier than that. 3. Which is more likely? That Tennessee still has a dominant d-line without Haynesworth or Pittsburgh simply won’t be running the ball this year? It may just be both. 4. I’m hearing that Polamalu will be out for 3 to 4 weeks. My Bears play the Steelers in Week 2. Great success!

Do you even give a shit about baseball scores? Fine I’ll give you a jump:

Royals 7, Tigers 4: Nothing about baseball makes any sense. Prior to this 3 game set, the Tigers looked like a team that wouldn’t lose for the rest of the season and the Royals looked like the Royals. So what happened? Of course Kansas City took 3 of 3. Trey Hillman used 5 different pitchers in this game and I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about any of them. Wait yes I can. The starter was a guy named Lenny DiNardo. On his ESPN.com player page, he’s wearing a fucking Tigers hat. Mind blown.

Rockies 5, Reds 1: Did you know that the Rockies are 21 games over .500? They’re now 4.5 games up on the Giants in the wild card and only 2 games back of the Dodgers for the division lead. Two of their MVP’s in Thursday nights game were Jose Contreras and Jason Giambi. Like I said, baseball makes no sense.

Blue Jays 3, Twins 2: The Twins couldn’t capitalize on the Tigers inability to beat the Royals and Lenny Freaking DiNardo, who may or may not have been pitching for the wrong god-damned team. I’m so glad football was on last night.

We’ll try to have some better-quality posts for you throughout the day. So stick around, we’ll be right back.