
Who woulda thunk Will Forte* was a Phillies fan?
One:
- The number of jail terms Roman Polanski has avoided for 30 years.
- The number of wins my two fantasy football teams have accrued this year.
- The number of hands I have broken punching a wall after watching Brad Lidge pitch.
- The amount in hundreds of dollars that I have won playing blogger poker tournaments.
- The number of Fetch’s testicles that have dropped this year.
- Out of 30 high school friends that actually talk to me on Facebook.
- The number of times I actually talked to this girl through 3 years of high school.
- The number of Blogger Emmy Awards I expect for my videos posted last week.
- The number of final outs I have recorded in the field to win a little league championship.
- The number of times per day that Hef thought he would get laid by getting a vasectomy.
- The cumulative number of times Hef has gotten laid since he got a vasectomy 2 months ago.
- The Phillies magic number after Tuesday night’s win.
- The number of laughs per second you will get watching this video of Tim Tschida demonstrating a balk.
Thanks Fightins.
Filed under:
Baseball 101, Phillies




. The number of bullets it would take to blow my brains out if Philly repeats
The number of times you have properly formatted your posts.
the number of times i have read a post from roman
Is a great song by NFG
NFG…musical pioneers or the greatest musical pioneers evar?
/I think we all know the answer to that question
I believe NFG paved the way for such musical greats as NFG.
One shitty division in each league that hasn’t clinched a playoff spot.
no way nfg blow them out of the water
If you think NFG would blow NFG out of the water…man, I don’t even know what to say to you anymore.
the number of times i just got a fucking piece of onion lodged in my keyboard.
bbbvvvvvbgvvvbbv
/sorry, i was trying to get it out.
Damn wops and their greasy onions.
dude, nfg changed the way music was played. nfg just copied what nfg was doing. you know it,i know and most of all nfg knows it.
the number of disfigured women i may or may not have had relations with
NFG made Thriller, man. Thriller.
You live in Philly. I imagine most of the city can claim that.
My dad still talks of the time he saw NFG perform Come Fly With Me and My Way at Caesars Palace in 1974.
You forgot one of the best Metallica songs ever.
That does not look like Will Arnett
touche, salesman.
the number of times i have farted in my office and tried to blame it on someone else.
/it doesn’t work.
Sure it does. You just have to threaten to take everyone’s headphones away, and they’ll willingly accept blame for your ripping ass.
am i the only one who rips ass without giving a shit about whomever smells it? fuck my coworkers…they deserve it.
After these rough couple of weeks.Im on pace for a coke and Latin Pussy binge.
i want one!!!
pepsi > coke
coke > all other drugs
latin pussy > all of the above
wrong
wrong
wrong
pepsi > coke
coke > all other drugs
latin pussy > all of the above
+ 1
/see what I did there?
//fuck you jerks
You obviously failed math class
bbryan Im glad were internet friends we see eye to eye
Back at you Bo. I married Colombian so latin pussy and coke are dear to my heart.
Goddamn I want your life. Well Ive just mapped out my life mission this afternoon.
I had Will Arnett mixed up with Will Forte. Thanks, Bo.
Coke is better than Pepsi. I can’t believe this shit is even being argued!
That’s it, I’m going back over there. They would never have a trivial debate like this.
/girlfriend is from El Salvador
Coke feels like drinking Mrs Buttersworth straight from the bottle. Too thick.
Pepsi, the choice of a Jerk Generation.
And? What’s wrong with this?
Communist.
Pepsi, the choice of a
Jerk Generationgheys like spencer and Gonzo.That picture of Knoblauch scares me.
i still drink RC Cola.
fag
We splurge when we purchase Coke. We have to settle on Big K Cola.
It goes:
RC <– Mud <—Big K <–Generic “Cola” from TV shows and movies
dude, im a coke man. get the fuck outta here with that noise.
They still make that? Haven’t seen it in quite some time. I actually drink Hansen’s because it has cane sugar instead of corn syrup, I’m a snob like that.
pussy.
gotta get it where poor people get their groceries.
/im poor
//so i get it where poor people get their groceries
Ah, I guess I misread one of your comments earlier. Whatever. pussy.
no, i just typed it wrong.
…
pussy.
I just had a vision of bbryan walking around with his Hansen’s, ripping off people’s headphones.
/Man, I hate bbryan