In news that is as stunning to the world of baseball as the Mitchell Report and the use of uppers in the clubhouse, the Red Sox traded for a slightly above average, white, left-handed hitting 3B/1B in exchange for pitcher Hunter Strickland and shortstop Argenis Diaz.
When asked to comment, Theo Epstein said, “Diaz had too many vowels in his name and sounded like he came from the wrong half of the globe. We traded him for a Northern Hemisphere guy with good baseball genes.*”
LaRoche can play third base and can cover first if needed.
*This may not be an accuarte quote.
Filed under:
Breaking News




Enjoy the suck that is Adam Laroche. He’s terrible.
/my opinion may be based on the fact that he dropped a pop fly in the ninth inning with two outs, which started a 10 game losing streak that ended the string of consecutive division titles
Hopefully, Whitey can bring the Pirates rich tradition of winning to the Red Sox organization.
…and ruining a first round playoff exit in front of fives, or even tens of fans.
/atlanta is a bad sports town meme
Did Roman issue a “do not report” on that little Mets farm system fracas or something?
I’ll take the tens of fans. At least we’ve got a title in the last 50 years.
/cleveland makes alabama look like new york city
so does cleveland…browns won their last title in 1964 which (/does math) is a mere 45 years ago.
and hey, at least we show up. just sayin.
Do you guys get ribbons for perfect attendance like in elementary school? That would be awesome.
nope, we just get justice from the NFL and get OUR football team back.
but i agree…a ribbon would be awesome.
No, I haven’t gotten a chance to write it but please note Tony Bernazard is a fucking douchetard and I guarantee he is fired by Friday. The NY Media has been waiting for this guy to implode. The sharks are out.
Any chance of Omar going with him?
“LaRoche can play third base and can cover first if needed.”
How is Adam LaRoche going to play third? Last time I checked, he throws lefthanded.