adamlarocheIn news that is as stunning to the world of baseball as the Mitchell Report and the use of uppers in the clubhouse, the Red Sox traded for a slightly above average, white, left-handed hitting 3B/1B in exchange for pitcher Hunter Strickland and shortstop Argenis Diaz.

When asked to comment, Theo Epstein said, “Diaz had too many vowels in his name and sounded like he came from the wrong half of the globe.  We traded him for a Northern Hemisphere guy with good baseball genes.*”

LaRoche can play third base and can cover first if needed.

*This may not be an accuarte quote.

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