image via Michael Gayhan’s tweetskeet
So I heard that Michael has proposed to his beard, and I must say that it’s pretty ingenious of him. He lost a whole bunch alimony money and now he’s going to marry someone who gets a bunch of child support money. Brilliant!
I don’t know what you’ll be doing this evening, but I’ll be going to the gym and having my eye half-trained on the big College World Series game between the two schools with the most famous roiding* alumni, evar! It’s the battle of Texas and Arizona State.
There’s also a full slate of interleague action after yesterday’s crapfest by crap teams. Enjoy your evening, and why don’t you tell a loved one how much you care? Feel free to hug a stranger, too. (If it’s a female, brush her boobs)**
We leave you tonight with some Montell Jordan. I still get my funky fresh moves on to this classic. So should you.
*allegedly
**not officially endorsed by Major League Jerk, LLC
this might be the greatest utl evar.
Oh I get it! Because he’s gay right? He’s fishing in other dudes’ pants. That’s the fly we’re talking about, right?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
/doesn’t give a shit
*clicks on ad. puts another 1.5 cents into Hef’s pocket*
Keep it up and you’re going to get a another section of the site named after you.
What jersey is Strahan wearing?
Major League Jerk: Presented by Gonzo and supported by the Geico Cavemen.
I love our scoreboard. Red Sox up 3-1 on the gay ass Marlins. Hopefully Florida will be 4 games below .500 in a few days.
/just found out they were nearly average again
//weird right?
Oh, and the Devils are beating the Longhorns. Eat a dick, Clown.
I believe that is Gonzo’s Memorial Scoreboard
I thought you found out 6 hours ago during the NL West update. Go take your Ginko Bibola, old Jew.
I keep forgetting and then remembering. It’s that shocking.
ASU is up 6-0. Eat a dick, Clown.
Jessica Biel’s ass
/you’re welcome
Maybe I should stop watching baseball for a while.
i want to do horrible things to it
Are you as impressed with it as we are, SG?
I’m so very, very bored with Jessica Biel.
I think this guy in the purple vest is Hef.
Texas and ASU tied at 6. Eat a dick, Clown.
/high 5’s Hef
The fuck happened? I go to Pei Wei and ASU shits the bed?
At least you got the sweet purple vest.
fuckin Hipster Hef, being all hip
hef is a hipster? cant say i’m surprised.
Hef wore a bow tie in Mexico.
/true story
The fuck is going on? I go to Pei Wei and come home to learn that I’m apparently a hipster?
better than gay right?!?!?!?!?!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
/tampa’d
You and your purple vest shut up. I wish I was hip.
7-6 Texas, eat a dick Clown.
/Hi 5’s Hef
//wait…what?
There is sadness in my belly.
Sorry Hef, I’m a little angry about the Tigers shitting the bed tonight.
They diarrhea’d all over their bed tonight.
Is it because of the Kung Pao Dick that you had at Pei Wei?
Clown, if it was the Kung Pao Dick he would have said the sadness was shot all over his belly.
Clown just started liking Texas this year once they started winning.