Rob Neyer should wear a detective hat and charge $.25 to solve mysteries now that he’s solved The Case of the Multitude of Home Runs! That’s right, the boy detective is on the case and he’s not going to stop until he cracks the case wide open. Did you know that penguins don’t live in the Arctic? And that there are only 30 days in the month of June? Well there’s also something fishy about the New Yankee Stadium that is stuck in his craw. You see, just because the dimensions look the same it doesn’t make it so.
The meteorology company said Tuesday that 20 of the 105 home runs hit at the $1.5 billion ballpark would not have gone out of the old Yankee Stadium.
“For someone attending a game at the new Yankee Stadium or watching on TV, the size of the playing field appears to be the same,” AccuWeather meteorologist Tim Buckley said in a statement Tuesday. “The dimensions at select corners of the field are identical — and the posted numbers on the walls reflect that. However, detailed schematics of the park reveal some nuances that have significant implications.”
First of all, is AccuWeather doing the study because weathermen are all frauds? Was AccuWeather presented with the task of determining whether there was a wind tunnel at Yankee Stadium and they went, “Shit man, there’s no way to tell. Let’s change the story quick before they realize that predicting that it’s going to be hot in the summer and cold in the winter isn’t too hard.”
What did they discover? Well it turns out that the Yankees designed themselves a ballpark that gives all the benefits of the steroid era without any of their players being allowed to use steroids anymore.*
“The wall structure is slightly different than the old park,” AccuWeather said. “The main difference involves curvature. The gentle curve from right field to center field seen in original Yankee Stadium has largely been eliminated at the new stadium. This is due in large part to the presence of a manual scoreboard embedded within the wall. Losing this curvature has resulted in a right field that is shorter by four-to-five feet on average, but up to nine feet in spots.
“Not only is the famed short porch even shorter in the new stadium, but the walls themselves are not as tall. In the old ballpark, the walls in right field stood at a height of approximately 10 feet. At this height, it was difficult for outfielders to scale the wall and attempt to rob a home run over the fence. Fast forward to 2009, and the outfielders have been scaling the wall without any trouble. The result? The new outfield fences only rise to a height of eight feet, adding to the ease hitting a home run to right.”
There’s no way this is accidental right? There’s no way that their team of engineers didn’t see this coming? Aren’t they paid to examine the domino effect that occurs when the slightest change is made to the design?
Here’s the layouts, side by side (sort of):
See, to the untrained eye, the numbers match perfectly but the other changes that were made allowed them to increase the chances for their left handed hitters to drive the ball out of the park with their pop flys to right field.
Were they trying to dupe us? Did they think it could work? Did they think no one would notice the influx of home runs in New York? How many questions do you think I could ask in a single post? 100?
No matter the reason, the fact that there are almost twice as many home runs in this park so far (as compared to last year) is a joke. They need to move the fences back (if that’s even possible) in order to make sure the Yankees aren’t the laughing stock of baseball.
*Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure most of the Yankees are still using steroids but they’ve probably found a new brand that is currently untraceable. They’re so crafty in New York.






Encylcopedia Brown? I owned all of those. Baddass. Him and Matt Christopher were the shit.
*Encyclopedia
SSS
Uhhhh…110 Home runs (including 62 to right field) this year compared to 56 during the same span last year is still ridiculous. I think you cling to SSS too closely some times.
Rob Neyer should wear a detective hat and charge $.25 to solve mysteries now that he’s solved The Case of the Multitude of Home Runs! That’s right, the boy detective is on the case and he’s not going to stop until he cracks the case wide open. FYI.
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the post and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the post and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from another comment and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
I know what you’re thinking: where can I get my hands on some sweet gear with your logo on it? Well here it is, loyal reader. Your own MLJ line of merchandise can be found here.
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the advertising on the right and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from another comment and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Now with French Sponsors!
Retrouvez un casino en ligne où jouer au blackjack en ligne et à la roulette en ligne
I know what you’re thinking: where can I get my hands on some sweet gear with your logo on it? Well here it is, loyal reader. Your own MLJ line of merchandise can be found here.
It caught on!!!
/shoots Happy
//then self
/So what’s Raul Ibanez’s excuse?
blah blah blah Michigan sucks blah blah blah Sergio’s peen blah blah blah bong rip blah blah blah
Our engineers are working around the clock to fix the root issue
/
Yankees Management via MLJ middle side bar
He’s playing in Philadelphia’s smaller ballpark and not Seattle and in the NL and not the AL?
Honestly, we should all go over to TBL and try it. There’s no way it wouldn’t go over well.
/crickets
MLJ’s engineers suck, they’ve been working around the clock for 3 months on this problem.
Our engineers have been to busy making sure the server doesn’t crash ever again. You’re welcome.
/dick
/So what’s Joe Mauer’s excuse?
//Seattle’s ballpark is actually VERY friendly to lefties
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Copyright 2007. Major League Jerk. All rights reserved
As friendly as Philadelphia? Really?
I have no excuse for Joe Mauer but your dismissal of the matter as a small sample size when it’s twice as many already is really silly. Really, really silly.
i like where this comment is headed.
The problem with most early season anomalies is that they almost invariably turn into noise.
Is it likely NY Stadium (whatever it’s called) has a new, higher home run rate? Yes, absolutely.
Is it some crazy high number such that we should expect 2x homers going forward? I’ll take the opposite side of that bet all day long.
blah blah blah San Diego blah blah blah chronic blah blah blah hot women blah blah blah Titleist blah blah blah
/I hate you
//not really
In regards to Weathermen in general, they suck. Why they have 10 minutes on a newscast is beyond me. I like that Don Cheadle SNL with his Doppler 5000.
Yay! Nick goes against the grain of conventional wisdom even though Johnny Damon is suddenly a power hitter!
At least Nick never slept with Lumburgh
Yes he did.
/going against the grain
/like nick
At least Nick never slept with Lumburgh
I heard NASA came in and did an intensive study. The agreed upon conclusion was that the Yankees, their Fans and the Stadium are all a giant puffy vagina filled with AIDS juice.
/2009 Book of Factual Things w/ forward by Stephen Hawking
Yes he did.
/going against the grain
/like nick
I heard NASA came in and did an intensive study. The agreed upon conclusion was that the Yankees, their Fans and the Stadium are all a giant puffy vagina filled with AIDS juice.
/2009 Book of Factual Things w/ forward by Stephen Hawking
My Encyclopedia Brown’s never looked that nice. I remember them being purple and ugly, you’re so rich Hef.
You know what going with consensus gets you, Hef?
A job writing for [editor's note: name redacted]. Do you want that? Do YOU!?!?!
They re-did all the covers to Encyclopedia Brown and Ramona. It’s weird.
Excuse me but doesn’t that douche go against consensus for the sake of making ridiculous predictions? Absurd predictions? I’m confused.
They changed my Daughter?????
You’re thinking of the wrong douche. Little bit to the left.
shhhhh…CRM reads the blog
I…have no idea what you’re talking about.
Who said anything about CRM?
Nothing to see here.
/whistles
//twiddles thumbs
Seriously CRM. Not talking about you.
/you think he saw us, guys?
Encylcopedia Brown? I owned all of those. Baddass. Him and Matt Christopher were the shit.
Quote
Comment by Clarence Worley on June 11, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
*Encyclopedia
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
SSS
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:16 pm
NickP: SSS
Uhhhh…110 Home runs (including 62 to right field) this year compared to 56 during the same span last year is still ridiculous. I think you cling to SSS too closely some times.
Quote
Comment by 1 Happy St on June 11, 2009 @ 2:17 pm
Rob Neyer should wear a detective hat and charge $.25 to solve mysteries now that he’s solved The Case of the Multitude of Home Runs! That’s right, the boy detective is on the case and he’s not going to stop until he cracks the case wide open. FYI.
Quote
Comment by 1 Happy St on June 11, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the post and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the post and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from another comment and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Quote
Comment by ParisHiltonsLazyEye on June 11, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
I know what you’re thinking: where can I get my hands on some sweet gear with your logo on it? Well here it is, loyal reader. Your own MLJ line of merchandise can be found here.
Quote
Comment by ParisHiltonsLazyEye on June 11, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from the advertising on the right and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
My new commenter meme: copy and pasting word for word from another comment and adding nothing to it. Oh yeah, it’ll catch on.
Quote
Comment by cbh49er on June 11, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
Now with French Sponsors!
Retrouvez un casino en ligne où jouer au blackjack en ligne et à la roulette en ligne
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
I know what you’re thinking: where can I get my hands on some sweet gear with your logo on it? Well here it is, loyal reader. Your own MLJ line of merchandise can be found here.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:26 pm
It caught on!!!
/shoots Happy
//then self
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
Uhhhh…110 Home runs (including 62 to right field) this year compared to 56 during the same span last year is still ridiculous. I think you cling to SSS too closely some times.
/So what’s Raul Ibanez’s excuse?
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
blah blah blah Michigan sucks blah blah blah Sergio’s peen blah blah blah bong rip blah blah blah
Quote
Comment by Clarence Worley on June 11, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
Our engineers are working around the clock to fix the root issue
/
Yankees Management via MLJ middle side bar
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
NickP:
/So what’s Raul Ibanez’s excuse?
He’s playing in Philadelphia’s smaller ballpark and not Seattle and in the NL and not the AL?
Quote
Comment by 1 Happy St on June 11, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
Honestly, we should all go over to TBL and try it. There’s no way it wouldn’t go over well.
/crickets
Quote
Comment by cbh49er on June 11, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
MLJ’s engineers suck, they’ve been working around the clock for 3 months on this problem.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
Clarence Worley: Our engineers are working around the clock to fix the root issue
/
Yankees Management via MLJ middle side bar
Our engineers have been to busy making sure the server doesn’t crash ever again. You’re welcome.
/dick
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
Hef:
He’s playing in Philadelphia’s smaller ballpark and not Seattle and in the NL and not the AL?
/So what’s Joe Mauer’s excuse?
//Seattle’s ballpark is actually VERY friendly to lefties
Quote
Comment by Triston27 on June 11, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
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Copyright 2007. Major League Jerk. All rights reserved
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:33 pm
NickP:
/So what’s Joe Mauer’s excuse?//Seattle’s ballpark is actually VERY friendly to lefties
As friendly as Philadelphia? Really?
I have no excuse for Joe Mauer but your dismissal of the matter as a small sample size when it’s twice as many already is really silly. Really, really silly.
Quote
Comment by spencer096 on June 11, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
LittleBuddha: blah blah blah Michigan sucks blah blah blah Sergio’s peen blah blah blah bong rip blah blah blah
i like where this comment is headed.
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
Hef:
As friendly as Philadelphia? Really?
I have no excuse for Joe Mauer but your dismissal of the matter as a small sample size when it’s twice as many already is really silly. Really, really silly.
The problem with most early season anomalies is that they almost invariably turn into noise.
Is it likely NY Stadium (whatever it’s called) has a new, higher home run rate? Yes, absolutely.
Is it some crazy high number such that we should expect 2x homers going forward? I’ll take the opposite side of that bet all day long.
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
spencer096: i like where this comment is headed.
blah blah blah San Diego blah blah blah chronic blah blah blah hot women blah blah blah Titleist blah blah blah
/I hate you
//not really
Quote
Comment by Clarence Worley on June 11, 2009 @ 2:41 pm
In regards to Weathermen in general, they suck. Why they have 10 minutes on a newscast is beyond me. I like that Don Cheadle SNL with his Doppler 5000.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:41 pm
NickP:
The problem with most early season anomalies is that they almost invariably turn into noise.Is it likely NY Stadium (whatever it’s called) has a new, higher home run rate? Yes, absolutely.Is it some crazy high number such that we should expect 2x homers going forward? I’ll take the opposite side of that bet all day long.
Yay! Nick goes against the grain of conventional wisdom even though Johnny Damon is suddenly a power hitter!
Quote
Comment by 1 Happy St on June 11, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
At least Nick never slept with Lumburgh
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
1 Happy St: At least Nick never slept with Lumburgh
Yes he did.
/going against the grain
/like nick
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
At least Nick never slept with Lumburgh
Quote
Comment by RomanWarHelmet on June 11, 2009 @ 2:51 pm
I heard NASA came in and did an intensive study. The agreed upon conclusion was that the Yankees, their Fans and the Stadium are all a giant puffy vagina filled with AIDS juice.
/2009 Book of Factual Things w/ forward by Stephen Hawking
Quote
Comment by ParisHiltonsLazyEye on June 11, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
Yes he did.
/going against the grain
/like nick
Quote
Comment by LittleBuddha on June 11, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
I heard NASA came in and did an intensive study. The agreed upon conclusion was that the Yankees, their Fans and the Stadium are all a giant puffy vagina filled with AIDS juice.
/2009 Book of Factual Things w/ forward by Stephen Hawking
Quote
Comment by cbh49er on June 11, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
My Encyclopedia Brown’s never looked that nice. I remember them being purple and ugly, you’re so rich Hef.
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
Hef:
Yes he did.
/going against the grain
/like nick
You know what going with consensus gets you, Hef?
A job writing for [editor's note: name redacted]. Do you want that? Do YOU!?!?!
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
cbh49er: My Encyclopedia Brown’s never looked that nice. I remember them being purple and ugly, you’re so rich Hef.
They re-did all the covers to Encyclopedia Brown and Ramona. It’s weird.
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 2:59 pm
NickP:
You know what going with consensus gets you, Hef?A job writing for [editor's note: name redacted]. Do you want that? Do YOU!?!?!
Excuse me but doesn’t that douche go against consensus for the sake of making ridiculous predictions? Absurd predictions? I’m confused.
Quote
Comment by RomanWarHelmet on June 11, 2009 @ 3:00 pm
Hef:
They re-did all the covers to Encyclopedia Brown and Ramona.It’s weird.
They changed my Daughter?????
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
Hef:
Excuse me but doesn’t that douche go against consensus for the sake of making ridiculous predictions? Absurd predictions? I’m confused.
You’re thinking of the wrong douche. Little bit to the left.
Quote
Comment by RomanWarHelmet on June 11, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
NickP:
You’re thinking of the wrong douche. Little bit to the left.
shhhhh…CRM reads the blog
Quote
Comment by Hef on June 11, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
NickP:
You’re thinking of the wrong douche. Little bit to the left.
I…have no idea what you’re talking about.
Quote
Comment by NickP on June 11, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
shhhhh…CRM reads the blog
Who said anything about CRM?
Nothing to see here.
/whistles
//twiddles thumbs
Seriously CRM. Not talking about you.
/you think he saw us, guys?
Quote
/winner? me