I love U.S. Open Weekend. I’m sure you do too. It represents so many awesome things like the start of summer, being American, and being white. Honestly, what better way is there to celebrate the start of summer than being American, being white, and hitting the links to shoot a round of 18? I’ll tell you. There is no better way. It makes me want to stand up and sing Lee Greenwood: I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m white. And I won’t forget the men who died, who killed everyone who wasn’t white. And I’ll gladly stand up, next to you, but only if you’re white. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God Blessed me for being white.
Those were the words, right? Wow I never noticed this before, but I think Lee Greenwood was racist. Eh, it happens. Let’s look at some scores from last night:
U.S. Open: Rain shortened the day, so there’s no point in really going over the leaderboard just yet. There’s a lot of evens and Tiger is at +1 thru 11.
Tigers 6, Cardinals 3: Rick Porcello is now 8-4. Marcus Thames had a HR, but that was to be expected.
Marlins 2, Red Sox 1: What the hell?!? Oh I get it. Florida had to resort to not playing a full game in order to win. Fucking cheaters.
Nationals 3, Yankees 0: Some guy named Stammen shut down the Yankees’ offense one day after some guy named Lannan did the exact same thing. Mike MacDougal got his 2nd save by pitching a scoreless 9th. I need someone smarter than me to tell me what the fuck is going on.
NHL Awards Show: I actually found myself watching a little bit of this. Some awards were handed out ote, some bad suits were worn, and Chaka Kahn came out and performed. Nothing about the broadcast was particularly unusual.
ED: We will not be mentioning the travesty that was the Cubs/White Sox game from Thursday. In fact, it’s being erased from memory. Anyone who mentions anything about it (the poor umpiring, the piss-poor relief pitching by the White Sox, or the look on my face as I watched the Cubs celebrating on the infield) gets a paddlin’.
Chaka Khan is awesome.
you’re the best happy.
I bought a Marcus Thames t-shirt on my lunch break yesterday, because he is awesome. But not as awesome as me ’cause I’m white.
id like to thank kevin costner for appearing like he’s actually played golf before in Tin Cup.
i watched legend of bagger vance last week, and not one of those actors had a decent swing. matt damon’s was so bad he wouldn’t even pass for a 20 handicap.
MLJ Commenter League: Nick Blackburn got me my first CG, helping me close in on 10th place!
/suck it bitches
//fuck the
twinkiespirahnasFag.
i was waiting for the symbol crash.
The ad at the bottom of the page says “Sick of using toilet paper? Buy a Bidet”
I have nothing to add to this, I just wanted to share.
clown…i deserve that. i felt NEARLY as gay as hef after watching that. then i remember my butthole hasn’t been penetrated, threw in a chew and beat my wife and felt great!
I hate that they tried to make him more likable by making him poor. Like anyone that good at golf wasn’t fucking rich. Assholes.
um…
ben hogan, tiger woods, lee trevino, arnold palmer, vijay singh…poor, poor, poor, poor, poor.
next.
oh and bobby jones’ only TRUE grand slam?
he was left bankrupt afterwards.
golf fields…filled by the rich, dominated by the poor.
False. They’re all rich assholes. Like you. And Kevin Costner.
next
yea, well i may be a rich asshole, but at least i didn’t make waterworld and the postman. how dare you lump me in with costner you mehsicko beach house owning ass motherfucker.
dont you have some logwashing to do?
so there’s something wrong wtih a 20 handicap?
/sob’s quietly.