The biggest complaint by the NL is of course the fact that the pitcher is a sure out every night. It deflates the ERAs of pitchers facing those weaker hitters and creates lower scoring games as teams strategize ways to get around good batters in order to face the pitcher.
In light of this obvious problem, I have decided to celebrate the teams with the best hitting pitchers. As such we have the top 5 teams based on number of hits by pitcher. As a point of reference, the median hits per pitching staff per team is about 12.5. The lowest are the Marlins and Nationals at 7 and 8 hits respectively. The NL East is the worst hitting division in baseball with regards to pitchers. The high in that division is 13 hits.
1. Reds: 20 hits; Micah Owings with 9. This should come as no surprise since Micah is almost certainly the best hitting pitcher in baseball. Too bad he can’t pitch as good as he can hit. Maybe they should move him to the outfield or something and add value to his…whatever.
2. Dbacks: 17 hits; Dan Haren with 7. You know why Dan Haren’s a better player than Johan? Because Danny adds value with his bat too. Johan hits like a little girl but Danny has the confidence of a man’s man.
3. Padres: 17 hits; Chris Young with 6. Sure, he has the worst stolen base against rate in the history of major league baseball, but Chris Young is actually pretty steady with a bat for a pitcher. I’m guessing he hits a lot of bloop singles into that cavern they got there in San Diego.
4. Cubs: 17 hits; Carlos Zambrano with 6. Who did you expect? He’s hit for the cycle already. Dude can rake.
5. Cardinals: 17; Adam Wainwright with 5. Technically, Kyle Lohse is the better hitter. He’s got 4 hits in 15 fewer ABs and an OBP of .333 which isn’t bad at all.
Honorable Mention: Mike Hampton who has 7 hits and is hitting .368. He’s the only one on the Astros pitching staff who can swing a bat.
the cardinals pitchers are so good that tony la russa bats them 8th.
/brainsplosion
Is he still doing that? I thought it was just a one-time stunt from last year.
He’s the best hitter in the league named Chris Young.
I almost made that joke myself but I saved it for someone else.
he started off the year not doing, but i’ve seen him dabbling in it lately. unfortunatly.
In his defense, it takes pressure off the 8 hole batter…and places it on the 7 hole batter.
Chris Young is no joke. He crushed two balls last night against the Phils, even though both went for outs.
Today is my Birthday. I would like to say thank you all for being my friends. I hope none of you die today.
White Chris Young > Black Chris Young
/only in baseball’d
I hope you don’t die on your birthday. But if you did, it would be a hell of a memorial. We might even make it an official MLJ Day of Remembrance.
/happy birthday
Now if only he could learn how to pitch outside of PETCO.
who’s the best hitting pitcher in the AL?
oh, that’s right, they realized that having guys who can’t hit try to hit is a waste of fucking time decades ago.
AL >>> NL
who is considered the best hitting pitcher ever? I remember Orel Horsesheiser being pretty good.
It actually is optimal. Sabers who’ve run Markov chain analysis on it have shown that.
Still Larussa is quite gay.
Babe Ruth.
you’re right, he’s no dusty baker.
/in dusty we trusty.
nick swisher.
/yankees fans’d
walked into that one. i guess i meant since it went to NL only.
In Soviet Russia, chains analyze you!
I feel like Martin Luther King Jr.
hope it doesn’t end that way for ya.
today is bo’s bday?
happy bday…i’ll do a bong rip for you when i get home. i got some afghan mango and some lemon diesel that should make it special.
Spencer fuck yea. Ive got a blunt of some mids Im gonna burn once I get home from the Palm. Im gonna go Veal stuffed with Prosciutto or Chicken Parm.
go with the first choice…baby, force fed cow stuffed with salted cured pig is always a better choice than some faggy chicken.
Try to choose the veal that had the worst life. Those ones are the tastiest.
exactly.
ask which baby cow had the smallest, darkest box and was force fed the most. mmm…tender.
I got some stuff yesterday from a buddy that i don’t normally get it from, and dammmnnn. pretty sure it is some locally grown indoor. not compacted at all, looked like it was freshly cured. i’m hitting the golf course after work today and i really want to hit it before i go, but i am starting to think that the green is part of my problems on the course.
ark…my 5 best rounds have come when i was stone, stinking sober.
and yet, i blaze before every round still.
good weed > sex
i need something to change, so i figure i will start with the obvious. we are playing an easy as fuck course, so if it doesn’t happen today, i don’t know what the problem is, besides that i probably just need to face the fact that i suck at golf.
and i would normally agree with you on the second part, except i haven’t had a girlfriend for a couple months now, but i have had some fire green.
that’s the hardest thing to admit…but once you realize you suck, you enjoy it more and play better. it’s a vicious cycle.