I hate you soooo much.

I hate you soooo much.

Noted penny-pincher owner Robert Sarver appears to have given up on his team after owning them for five whole years and is in the process of getting rid of all the valuable assets the team has with the sole purpose of making my basketball watching experience miserable.  Before I continue, let me take a quick moment to talk about the Suns:

I love the Phoenix Suns and always have.  They were the first non baseball team I ever cared about and the only professional sports team in Phoenix that I followed while living outside the great state of Arizona.  They are easily the greatest franchise to never win a championship (even John Hollinger thinks so) and even when they lost, they did so while entertaining the hell out of their fans (and everyone else around the league).  For me the Suns have always been defined by their point guards which culminated when they would play with Kevin Johnson, Jason Kidd and Steve Nash on the court at the same time (back when they flirted with those ugly black unis).

So now, even after the Shaq trade left Suns fans in rage, there’s talk that the Suns are going to trade Amare Stoudemire to the Warriors for Andris Biedrins and Stephen Curry.  Let that sink in for a minute.

Since Robert Sarver purchased the team from the legendary Jerry Colangelo there has been nothing but screwups and decisions made with wallet solely in mind.  As such, a list of the dumbest mistakes made since the Sarver era began:

Trading the rights to Rajon Rondo and Sergio Rodriguez for cash/Signing Marcus Banks: This one still, to this day, confuses the shit out of me.  Why (WHY?) would anyone think that Marcus Banks was worth more than the league minimum ever?  Ever?  That guy is the very definition of a player that sucks out loud.  And what’s more amazing is that this is the one time Sarver ever agreed to spend any money and it was spent poorly.  It’s like skipping out on a free meal at a steakhouse to pay triple at McDonalds.  One of the dumbest moves ever made in the history of professional basketball.  And if you’re looking for a backup for Nash, why not go young and grab the potential?  My mind still hurts.

The Joe Johnson fiasco: To refresh your memory, Joe Johnson is up for a contract extention the year Sarver shows up.  He gets low balled the whole year despite his ridiculous basketball ability.  Finally, during the off season, he signs an offer sheet with Atlanta for $70M and asks Sarver not to match it.  Instead he trades for Diaw and two future picks (why would the Suns ever need draft picks?).  Joe Johnson was perfect for the Suns.  Absolutely perfect.  And he was let go by a cheapskate.

Trading Kurt Thomas and 2 draft picks for nothing. That’s right, nothing.  Oh, sure, they got $8MM in luxury tax relief but that money went to Sarver.  It didn’t help the cap.  It didn’t help the fans.  It was a giveaway of the best Spurs defender on the team AND future first round picks for nothing that would immediately benefit the team (with the exception of Sarver) at a time when the Suns window was closing.

Trading Shaq to Cleveland for Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic. [sighs] The only way this trade doesn’t make me go on a murder rampage is if Wallace is flipped for something else.  If he retires, it does nothing to lessen my anger at this team’s front office.  I don’t want Shaq to be traded for nothing.  He was playing inspired basketball during the second half of last year and the Suns trainers could have kept him going for another 2 or 3 (based on my Grant Hill math).  Unless Wallace is traded for a better part, I’m moving Sarver to the top of my rage index, ahead of Glen Beck even.

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