The wife of Pirates prospect Jose Tabata was arrested yesterday in suspicion of having abducted a two month old child after telling the child’s parents that immigration services were coming to take the parents away.
Amalia Tabata Pereira, 43, was being questioned by Florida detectives in Manatee County, where the girl was found unharmed Tuesday afternoon, a day after she was taken from the clinic. Plant City Chief of Police Bill McDaniel said authorities are looking to charge Pereira with false imprisonment.
Okay, first things first: Jose Tabata is one of the best prospects in the league (#67 on Fetch’s list) which means he’s probably got a ton of money and he’s already married to a 43 year old baby stealer? She must know tricks that most women haven’t even imagined in their craziest man-trapping fantasies. This has to be way beyond, “let’s get married because I’m pregnant.”
Sandra Cruz-Francisco was taken from her mother, Rosa Sirilo-Francisco, about 3 p.m. Monday by a woman her family only knew as “Janet,” Plant City police said. The mother had taken her baby for a checkup at the Plant City Health Department, where she met Janet, who said she was an immigration official, Sirilo-Francisco told the Tampa Tribune. The woman told Sirilo-Francisco that there were officers at her home waiting to deport her and the child’s father to Mexico.
Janet offered to help, but said she had to take the baby.
This reminds me of that scene in Always Sunny when Mac and Dennis convince Charlie to fight in an underground fighting ring and they’re pumping him up and trying to get him psyched to fight, but just one thing: he’s gotta get that shirt off. You’re the best Charlie. No one can kick your ass. Now, why don’t we pop that shirt off so we can get started on our training? Don’t worry about the immigration, I’ll take care of it. But I’m gonna need that baby.* The story continues:
The two women drove with the infant to a farm where the child’s father works and Janet told him the same story, and the mother later handed the child over.
Investigators now believe Janet and Pereira are likely the same person. Wilson said Pereira has a criminal record that includes theft and fraud convictions and that police did not have a hometown for her because she has several aliases.
A Mexican immigrant working on a farm? Sounds like a cover story. If anyone’s a member of Al Qaida it’s almost certainly the hard working Mexican who risked his and his family’s lives to work 14 hour days on a farm. He’s probably plotting to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge or something. Why haven’t we nuked Mexico yet?
To recap: the 43 year old wife of a 20 year old MLB prospect stole a baby from recent immigrants for an unspecified reason and then was caught at some kind of clinic (she probably tried to trade the kid for some sweet meds). What have learned? Well for once I have to point to Derek Jeter as a model of proper behavior. If you’re young and have a shot at the bigs, don’t get married. There is no goddamn reason to do so. Bang the shit out of the world and then, after you lose all your hair and get criticized for your awful, awful defense ability (dude’s a liablity) find a 18 year old with modeling potential.
Questions?
*Everything I see in life either reminds me of Always Sunny or Kids in the Hall. I’m very lonely.
First things first What is her and his nationality. We will go from there.
This reminds me more of “The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby”, more than it does “Hundred Dollar Baby”.
I agree, all Mexicans are guilty of something.
/TBL
What is hot right now?
Mexicans.
DB can play Mexican. To tell you the truth, he could be Mexican. I have no idea who his father is.
At least in this example, they don’t have to paint the baby.
Man I sure could go for a burrito right now.
Or chop him in half with an Ali Baba sword.
I wonder if the baby in question was from LaBambas “Burritos as Big as Your Head” menu. Damn, I want a burrito as well.
Mac: There are parental roles that need to be filled here, right? Otherwise this kid roams the streets, having unprotected sex, with multiple partners, sharing needles and contracting the HIV virus, and its all your fault. Are you happy Dee? Is this what you wanted? You just gave this baby full-blown A.I.D.S.
Frank: What the hell is that?
Mac: It’s a baby we found in the dumpster.
Frank Reynolds: Well put it back, it’s not yours.
I don’t know if this was all 7-11’s but the one near me in VA had a Burrito called the BOMB, it was gigantic and the name was very apt for what I would drop after I ate it.
Your server sucks.
Oh no, CBH, the BOMB is marketable. I always burnt the fuck out of mouth.
The Bomb is good.
Well at least she didn’t eat the babie.