It’s been approximately 24 hours since we gave you a forum to post your team predictions for 2009 that you’ll no doubt get wrong. Today we’re giving you a forum to post your individual award predictions that you’ll no doubt get wrong. After the jump, you’ll see each Jerk’s choices for MVP, Cy Young, and ROY. I asked for Gold Gloves but was told to stop being gay. Then I asked for Managers of the Year but was told to go fuck myself. Then there was a knock at my door from a hired goon who told me that if I didn’t stop with all the bullshit, someone else like Stigs would get to do the inane individual awards post. After all it was his idea in the first place (inside joke’d). I didn’t want to give it up though because there’s a good chance that this will go down as the greatest post in history, so I agreed; we’re only choosing MVP’s, Cy’s, and ROY’s.
Onto the picks:
Roman:
AL MVP: Evan Longoria
NL MVP: David Wright
AL Cy Young: Chien-Ming Wang
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana
AL ROY: Matt Wieters
NL ROY: Jordan Schafer
Spencer:
AL MVP: Grady Sizemore
NL MVP: Albert Pooholes
AL Cy Young: Fausto Carmona
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana
AL ROY: Matt LaPorta (Spencer is a bigger homer than Tampa Bo)
NL ROY: Gamel (I have only a slight idea who this is. Is he that Brewers prospect that spells his name like a retard?)
Fetch:
AL MVP: Justin Morneau (more homerism. Do I have to pick Quentin?)
NL MVP: Albert Pujols
AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
NL Cy Young: Brandon Webb
AL ROY: Matt Wieters
NL ROY: Tommy Hanson
Clown:
AL MVP: Mark Teixeira
NL MVP: Manny Ramirez
AL Cy Young: CC Sabathia
NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum
AL ROY: Tyreke Evans
NL ROY: Blake Griffin (this made me laugh)
Happy:
AL MVP: Mark Teixeira
NL MVP: Albert Pujols
AL Cy Young: Zach Greinke
NL Cy Young: Thame Lincecum
AL ROY: Matt Wieters
NL ROY: I’m told Jordan Schafer is going to be good. Or is it Schafer Jordan? As you can see my knowledge of NL rookies is sub par at best.
NickP:
AL MVP: Matt Holliday
NL MVP: Gay-Vid Wright
AL Cy Young: CC Sabathia
NL Cy Young: Derek Lowe
AL ROY: Matt Wieters
NL ROY: Jordan Schafer
Hef:
AL MVP: Kevin Youkillis
NL MVP: Hanley Ramirez
AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett
NL Cy Young: Dan Haren
AL ROY: Matt Wieters
NL ROY: Jordan Schafer
CRM:
AL MVP: Jason Bay
NL MVP: Hanley Ramirez
AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett
NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum
AL ROY: David Price
NL ROY: Roy Oswalt (more good comedy)
Stigs:
AL MVP: Evan Longoria
NL MVP: Manny Ramirez or Hanley Ramirez (Stigs plays by his own rules)
AL Cy Young: Francisco Liriano
NL Cy Young: Josh Johnson
AL ROY: David Price
NL ROY: Tommy Hansen
Now it’s your turn. Give us your picks in the comments and whomever gets the most right will get a beej* from Hef.
* Probably just a t-shirt.**
** Okay you get nothing, but pick anyway; it’s fun.
Hey, Roman, there’s more to baseball than the east.
AL MVP: Marcus Thames
NL MVP: Who gives a shit the NL sucks
AL Cy Young: Nate Robertson
NL Cy Young: Again, who gives a shit
AL ROY: Rick Porcello
NL ROY: Julio Franco
AL MVP: Mark Teixeira
NL MVP: Manny Ramirez
AL Cy Young: CC Sabathia
NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum
AL ROY: Tyreke Evans
NL ROY: Blake Griffin
This dude knows what’s up.
Did Happy really throw in Donald Zachary Greinke? Outstanding!
Marcus Thames is a great pick. Wish I’d thought of it.
I know, this is his breakout year, get on the bandwagon now.
mlb channel was showing game 7 of the 2006 nlcs. i dvr’d it so don’t tell me who won.
nl>>al
Way too lazy to predict any of this shit.
i’ll allow it.
@ark: astros/cardinals? Is that the pujols/lidge game?
The riots will start when American Idol ends
/
TBL
hef, that was 2004. 2006 was against the mets. although i still remember jumping out of my couch about 10 feet when pujols ruined lidge’s next 2 years.
AL MVP:don’t care
NL MVP: alphonso soriano
AL Cy Young:dont care
NL Cy carlos zambrano
AL ROY: dont care
NL ROY: jeff samardzija
/homer like a mofo
Pujols/Lidge was 2005. Because then Lidge went on to give up a game-winner in the WS to Scottie Friggin’ Pods.
I picked Longoria, he plays on the West Coast of Florida
Go Fuck yourself
that’s the fuse i was looking to light.
good call happy.
Artest gonna rape Brittney Spears!?
tampa go fuck yourself.
/homo like a mofo’d
//mrejr’d
///Hef’d
////AIDS’d
/////Cleveland’d