In anticipation of the coming baseball season, we will be previewing all 30 teams over the next month. To see all of our team previews, please click here.
This team is coming off a World Series victory… like 8 years ago! [Ed: Try two.]
The Cardinals have one of the drunkest/sleepiest/best managers in the game in Tony La Russa. In addition to having a future Hall of Famer for a manager, they are also affectionately known to fans as the Buzzsaw.
Pitching:
Chris Carpenter might finally be healthy after pitching 1 game in 2007 and 3 games in 2008. If he’s healthy and returns to pre-Tommy John form he could solidify the Cardinals rotation. Adam Wainwright and Kyle Lohse are both coming off solid seasons. The closer is going to be… either Ryan Franklin, Chris Perez, Jason Motte, or Josh Kinney. They all have so much potential!
Offense:
St. Louis has the best hitter in the game (Top 2 at least, right?) in Albert Pujols. Last year he posted big numbers in every single category you can imagine and won his second MVP season. The Cardinals also have one of the greatest athletes to ever play the game protecting Pujols – Rick Ankiel. The most impressive thing about Ankiel is that he did it all on natural ability. And steroids. Ryan Ludwick hit 37 home runs last season which is pretty good. (Test him!) There’s also a Molina in the lineup. If anyone claims to know which one plays for St. Louis, they are a liar. No one knows. No one.
Defense:
/science
They will play it. Well? Perhaps. Poorly? Could be. Conventional wisdom tells us that Ozzie Smith isn’t walking through that door. Unless he comes to visit. I guess he could walk through that door. If he does walk through that door he won’t be inserted into the starting line up. Or maybe he will. I’ve read that La Russa is quite unconventional. Also, Skip Schumaker will move from the outfield to second base.
Outlook:
Contenders! They should challenge the Cubs for the Central and whichever NL East team is the mix for the wild card. High-80, low-90 wins.
Those fake stirrups make me want to throw up.
That’s a sweet corked bat.
Tony LaRusso Baseball for the Sega is this drunkards best accomplishment. Fuck the Cardinals and Pujols did roids.
I’m pretty worried about the pitching staff. hopefully carp will come back, but besides him and wainwright the rest of the starters is suspect. lohse sucks and always will. the middle relievers were crap last year and didn’t get much better. izzy is gone, which is nice. i think perez will be a good closer once he gets some experience.
CRM is like the Baseball Prospectus.
unless…
DEBUNKED…BY YOURSELF!!!1!11!ELEVEN!!
/brainsplosion
For someone who only seems to like gay dudes rolling around in a heptagon, CRM has really done a good job with the previews.
excpet for the Marlins Preview.
The best thing ever written on this site. Or at least top 100.
If they score more runs than their opponent each game, they might have a chance. That’ll depend on many factors though, such as how many runs they score versus the other team.